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February 13, 2012

NOTHING SAYS 'BE MY VALENTINE'

...like a severed head.

(Thannks to jpn haris)

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Puts a newer, or perhaps older (Taiwanese) meaning on
the phrase "striving to get a head"....

I was tempted to make a bris joke, but I'll refrain.

Never confuse "head" with "head" IYKWIM.

When you ask someone for some head, be very specific/

Guys, unless you want your head handed back to you on a silver platter, I would strongly advise against this. Remember, diamonds are a girls best friend.

Be My Valentine! Forever, and ever, and ever, and ever....

NC,

Maybe we could give discount "waxes" to those guys who fail to give their loved one expensive appropriate Valentines?

This certainly ups the ante from that van Gogh fella's idea of a romantic gift.

Mr. Corleone?

All I got for my wife and daughter was a shih tzu.

That's the headlines, and now the noose.

Good idea Mikey. We'll rip the first strip off wax off so it hurts and tell them if they pay more we'll be more careful with the remaining 35 strips.

OK ... lemme see if I've got this correct ... first they sever a head ... then they Taiwan on ...

off of. I got so excited thinking about stripping blog guys that I forgot how to spell.

Excited? Or in the case of certain really OLD-type guys, panic-stricken?

Modern day severed head substitute: rip a urinal off the bathroom wall.

What do you mean, "can I exchange it"?

"Not without a receipt."

That's whut they usually tell me ...

I don't know, cindy. A "this could be you, unless..." would make quite a successful Valentine, I think. At least until the cops come.

That's right diamonds are a girls best friend not a severed head. Although flowers and candy will sometimes have to do.

Reflections on Ice-breaking

Candy
is dandy,
but liquor
is quicker.

-- Ogden Nash

Then there are the jerky women who would inevitably lament, around ancient Starbucks, that Mabel's severed head was bigger than theirs or that they were saving up for a house so, "He only got me a monkey head for now".

Well, that's one way to get a head.

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