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February 27, 2012


Man Shot Twice as he Tries to Shoot Caged Raccoon

(Thanks to Matt Filar)


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...so Rocky had come equipped with a gun to shoot off the legs of his rival?

Darn, ligirl, you're like a Deep Thought computer of lyrics-based comebacks.


Alert the Darwin Award people: possible incoming.

"The DNR says the injuries are not believed to be life threatening."
This guy has a DNR.
That's a good thing.

Raccoons Packing Heat WBAGNFARB.

Maybe...it was a very supernatural raccoon. Or the guy was an idiot.

Occam's Razor: The guy was an idiot.

A likely story. I think he just doesn't want to admit the raccoon shot him.

When humans finally render ourselves extinct, I figure it's a toss-up over which successor species inherits the Earth. Cockroaches are tougher.

But raccoons have thumbs.

I have (very rarely but it has happened more than once) dropped firearms; and never once did one of them fire itself when dropped. In fact, for a rather long time, firearms intended for the American market have been specifically designed not to fire when dropped. The drunks need to come up with a new story.

And the raccoon thought, "I'm not sure what I just did. But I'm gonna remember that move."

Shot twice, eh?

Must've been a repeat offender?

(Well, of COURSE the raccoon wuz offended! Who wouldn't be?)

Hey, the raccoon in question happens to be a friend of mine, and he carries an FN Herstal Five-seveN, not some useless .22. At least give the critter credit for making an astute choice of every-day carry.

Of course, that doesn't explain how the human survived two hits of 5.7 x 28mm, but I suppose they didn't dig that far into it.

who was that masked man?

I used to have to trap raccoons to protect the nests of threatened bird species; live traps were used so "nontarget animals" (squirrels, cats, dogs, etc.) could be released. I shot the coons with a .22 magnum revolver; anything other than a direct head shot at point-blank range was usually not lethal with that round. I assume Captain Marvel not only didn't know how to handle his gun, but also didn't put the barrel through the mesh of the trap and zap him right between the eyes.

Remember all those cartoons in which Elmer Fudd or somebody points a gun -- usually a shotgun, in fact -- at a cute aminal and said aminal plugs the barrel with his fingers. The gun explodes, leaving Elmer with a blackened or actually missing head.

That's what I would fear about sticking the gun into the cage with any self-respecting raccoon.

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