Dave Barry's Blog

SEND HER TO WASHINGTON

Mayoral candidate says rival sent topless dancer

(Thanks to Karen in Panama City)

IS THERE ANYTHING IT CAN'T DO?

What Beer Can Teach Us About Emerging Technologies

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

BEAM ME UP SOME COASTERS

Star Trek: The Next Generation of coffee tables

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

COMING SOON

Tickets here.

YOU WILL NEVER GUESS WHAT APPARENTLY WAS INVOLVED

University of Louisiana at Monroe police say a driver stopped for weaving along a main street through campus got out of the car and fell flat on the ground.

(Thanks to bayou girl)

STILL MORE TOILET NEWS FROM CHINA

Fed up with long queues for ladies, Li Tingting led 20 women into a men's public bathroom in the southern city of Guangzhou carrying colourful placards calling for equal waiting times for both sexes.

(Thanks to funny man)

IT'S A TOILET! IT'S A DESK!

It's a toilet AND a desk!

(Thanks to Joe in Japan)

ADVISORY TO MOTORISTS IN CHINA

This bridge is not finished.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

SOON WE WILL HAVE NO FUNDAMENTAL HUMAN RIGHTS LEFT

Man charged after cooking own meal at Denny's

(Thanks to jon harris and Scott Brown, who asks, "Does he end up in the Grand Slammer?")

AND THE SO-CALLED 'UNITED NATIONS' DOES NOTHING

A Norwegian family who traveled on a package tour to Bulgaria filed a formal complaint and demanded a refund, because most of the other guests at the hotel where they were staying were Bulgarians.

(Thanks to Shan Gill)

HOW WARM IS IT HERE IN MIAMI?

It's pretty warm, as we can tell by this CrapCam action photo I just took of a lizard attempting to enter my office.

MAKING THE SECOND SHOT VERY DELICATE

Phil Mickelson tee shot lands in fan's shorts

(Thanks to The Perts and Greg Snow)

IT WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

Police called to investigate fake cow

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

Frozen falling faeces flummox Germans

(Thanks to Greg Snow and Ralph, who asks, "Didn't Frozen Falling Faeces open for Barry Manilow?")

THERE IS NOTHING LOWER

Taiwan police bust pigeon-kidnapping ring

(Thanks to The Perts)

STEREOTYPE ALERT

Drunks vomiting shamrocks feature in top US store clothing line

(Thanks to funny man)

THE HERALD HUNT MAKES THE BASEBALL HALL OF FAME

Some of you may recall that in the most recent Herald Hunt we had a puzzle that involved an actor reading "Casey at the Bat" and some specially made baseball cards featuring players named in the poem. Andy Wenzel, a.k.a. Andy the Tropichunt.com guy, contacted the Baseball Hall of Fame and offered to donate a set of these cards. Not only did the folks at the Hall accept this offer, but they sent Andy, Tom Shroder and me official certificates:

So clearly America is doomed. 

Corrections: Andy tells me that Cooperstown contacted him, not the other way around. Also the illustrator, Otis Sweat, also received a certificate. Also America may not be doomed.

TOUGH ONE

"Will I be willing to play in lingerie? Would that detract from the actual sport itself? I'm not sure."

(Thanks to The Perts)

GUESS THE STATE, II

...reporter Adrienne Pedersen saw her live report on gas prices this morning disrupted when two cars crashed within view of the camera, just over her left shoulder.

(Thanks to Dave Roe)

THIS IS WHY WE REFUSED TO ALLOW NUCLEAR PHYSICISTS TO HOOK UP OUR DVR

'Faster than light' measurement blamed on loose cable

(Thanks to The Perts)

GUESS THE STATE

School Bus Dispatcher Suspended With Pay After Allegedly Aiding Bank Robbery

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

THIS JUST IN

A stick figure man with a giant phallus dubbed "the little horny man" by its discoverers is the oldest rock carving found yet in the Americas, researchers say.

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins, who says, "Soon to be a major motion picture starring Dominique Strauss-Kahn.")

ATTENTION, INVESTORS

A Nebraska woman is auctioning a McDonald's Chicken McNugget that she believes resembles President George Washington.

(Thanks to funny man)