Dave Barry's Blog

WHY YOU SHOULD ALWAYS STOP AT 19

Kalamazoo man defecates on car after downing 20 beers and crashing into several vehicles in downtown parking ramp

(Thanks to Chris Lawson)

THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS

Snake found in hotel trouser press

(Thanks to Ralph)

COLLEGE

"Defendant Hughes placed a bottle rocket in his anus, ignited the fuse, but instead of launching, the bottle rocket blew up in the defendant's rectum, and this startled the plaintiff and caused him to jump back, at which time he fell off of the ATO deck, and he became lodged between the deck and an air conditioner unit adjacent the deck."

(Thanks to Mark Adler, Unholy Slacker, Nate West and John Gregg)

NOT WEIRD AT ALL!

Iran reenacts Ayatollah Khomeini's 1979 return with cardboard cutout

(Thanks to Poker)

HARD TO SEE WHERE THIS SEEMINGLY FOOLPROOF PLAN WENT WRONG

Man with shorts on head, not covering face, tries to rob bank

Bonus Points: Guess the state.

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

AS FORESHADOWED BY MONTY PYTHON

A sheepherding Swedish rabbit.

(Thanks to Joe in Japan and Jeff Meyerson)

SPEAKING OF BAND NAMES

Give it up for Bowel Surfing Capsule.

(Thanks to Randy Voges, who claims he saw them open for the Rolling Kidney Stones.)

NO WORD ON THE FRENCH RESPONSE

Puerto Rico plans mass iguana killings

(Thanks to Ross, who say Mass Iguana Killings open for Jesus Lizard)