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January 25, 2012

AS RECOMMENDED BY EXPERTS

"I called 911, but first I slapped her with a piece of pizza."

(Thanks to Scott Marcusky)

Comments

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Isn't that sweet. Her mother must love pizza.

Rita was thrilled with her award and the special goody bag she received.

The mushroom trophy looks great on the nightstand, and you never know when you'll need a few packets of pepper and parmesan.

I'm not surprised by her actions at all. I teach CPR and First Aid for the Red Cross. One of the first things I tell my students is to always make sure they have a fresh slice of pizza on them just in case. You just never know.
Seriously, kudos to this little girl for staying calm and getting her mom help.

From Famous Original Ray's of New York Presbyterian Medical Center.

A Darwin nominee in there too: "helping me in the evening put up an antenna and the part that she was holding tapped a power line" So despite all the warnings, including big drawings, on the box and the antenna, to never put them up while underneath a power line, they did just that. Oy.

EMT #1: OK, it looks like she's not breathing.
EMT #2: Pulse?
EMT #1: Very faint, but it's there. I'm gonna clear the airway.
EMT #2: I've got the pizza ready.
EMT #1: OK, she's just barely breathing now, no obstructions. Give it to her.
*Slap*
*Slap*
EMT #2: Damn! Nothing. I'm gonna use another slice.....
EMT #1: Not reviving! Try it with pepperoni!
EMT #2: They were all out! I had to get anchovy.
Patient: NO!!!!

It would have worked if it had had anchovies on it.

I wuz sorta expectin' that sumbuddy would mention anchovies ... and I wuz correct in anticipatin' that action ...

Heck, if a fish in the face won't wake sumbuddy up, they really do need medical assistance ... merely ... um ... nope ... won't say it ... brain tooken a mental leap about that time, but this is a family-type blog, so I won't continue that line of mental imagery ...

Important tip. Leave the onions off. You may have to do mouth to mouth later.

Where did people learn to "slap" others with pizza?

I'm not sure but I'd guess Godfather's (H.Cain) had something to do with it.

Obviously funny man doesn't read my comments.

Obviously funny man doesn't read nc's comments.

Obviously funny man hasn't been back to read our comments.

It's okay. I'm use to being treated like a redheaded stepchild. *sniff*

Y'all wouldn't hafta be a "step"child in our collective family tree, n'cin' ... the two branches on our family trees frum which MB(RH?) & Moi Ownself emerged have a long history of redheads (tho several of us have gone gray) ... y'all can be an honorary member of our extended clan, if y'all don't mind whut passes fer "humor" @ the reunions ...

O the U, I've been known to open a can or jar of anchovies and eat them straight.
It's the perfect recipe for when you really need some "alone" time.
However, the "dying in the desert" dreams in the night are a downer.

Steve ... I've never been much of a fan of that sorta pisctorial delight, ever since an episode in college with a drunken roommate ... he stunk up the room so badly I hadda move out for most of a week ... HOWever ... this means that y'all can have my share of the world's reserves of anchovies ...

Heckuva deal, eh?

Ungrateful wretch! Slapping your poor unconscious mother with a pizza! Just you wait until your father gets home. Now give me back that bottle of vodka!

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