Dave Barry's Blog

JABBA

Is this the world's fattest squirrel?

(Thanks to Lani)

SEND HER TO NOTGNIHSAW

The girl who can pronounce words backwards.

(Thanks to Eht Strep)

INCREDIBLY, ETC.

After police found him asleep and surrounded by empty beer cans in an SUV that was obstructing traffic, a Chicago man urinated on the police station floor and then entertained himself by singing loudly and playing air piano, prosecutors said.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

CANADA: UNTAMED FRONTIER

Clothing donation bins spark turf war in Ontario

(Thanks to The Perts) 

CSI: DOBBS FERRY

Short, Mustachioed Man Appears in Students' Living Room; Leaves Business Card

(Thanks to Niraj Bhatt)

GO FIGURE

But the happiest workers of all are in Miami.

(Thanks to The Amazing Steve, who says, "I think they're just happy to have survived the trip via I-95.")

THE THREE BUILDING BLOCKS OF LIFE

Long lines for 'sexual chocolate' beer

(Thanks to ScottMGS)

THERE IS NOTHING LOWER

Thief smashes window of unlocked car, steals woman's teeth

Actual Name of Town: "Bridgeville"

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

TIME FOR STRICT FEDERAL CONTROLS

Toledo woman accused of trying to rob store with curling iron

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

NOW ACCEPTING MEMBERSHIP APPLICATIONS

Donald Trumps plans cemetery near fifth-hole fairway at New Jersey golf course

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

FROM THE PEOPLE WHO BROUGHT YOU LOW-FLOW TOILETS

BOCA RATON, Fla., Jan. 29 (UPI) -- Officials say they have started repairs on the waterless urinals at a Florida high school after they began springing leaks of liquids that were not water.

(Thanks to The Perts)

STAY KLASSY, KARDASHIANS

Going topless for Sears.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)