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December 30, 2011

SHE SPEAKS WITH AUTHORITY

Whale Sperm Makes the Ocean Salty, Snooki Claims

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

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Simon Boxall, a marine expert and oceanographer dismissed Polizzi's suggestion. "It would take a lot of whale sperm to make the sea that salty," he said.

This is the kind of scientific debate that is best left to itself.

"I don't really like the beach. I hate sharks, and the water's all whale sperm. That's why the ocean's salty."

She hates the beach? What in the blazes, then, is she doing on a show called Jersey Shore?

Well they are sperm whales. Does so much whale sperm get loose because of whale porn? Hot Narwhals of Norway. And how do they, you know, with flippers.

Has she been to Cleveley's lately??

"Sore throats do not come from your colon; they are caused by viruses that come in through your nose and mouth. Taking 'colon cleansers' has no beneficial effect on your throat -- or on your colon."

My only question on this one is, where did they dig up Suzy Quatro after all these decades to get the original quote? And was she with The Fonz?

OMG - Was that Leather Tuscadero??? Too funny.

Is this why wives don't wear high heels?

Why does she think sperm is salty? Huh? Ooooohhhh.

Now I understand why you aren't supposed to swallow sea water

No matter which side you're on, the whales are happy.

You must admit, the water at N.J. beaches IS unique.

Even though I've never watched a second of her "reality show", I'm betting her sodium levels are off the chart.

Is it possible that Snooki casting her substantial girth into the brine is the cause of the world's ocean waves?

BWHAHAHA Professor Snooki!

PhD in tanning and tacky clothes.

Best she stays out of the ocean anyhow. We don't need more oil slicks.

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