Dave Barry's Blog

INSPARRRRRATIONAL

Drivers greeted with giant sheep's skull

(Thanks to Ralph)

NOW THEY'VE GONE TOO FARRRR

Planking taken to a new level of smelly

(Thanks to Mark Schlesingarrrrr)

WAIT... ARRR THEY SAYING SPERM HAVE HAIR??

Sperm bank turns down redheads

(Thanks to tc and Joe in Japan)

WE MAY BE NUMBER 100 IN EDUCATION, ME HEARTIES, BUT WE'RE NUMBER ONE IN THIS

Florida has the world's worst invasive amphibian and reptile problem.

And they all have etc.

(Thanks to Jeff Matthews)

THEY SHOULD HAVE KEELHAULED THE SCURVY TERRORIST DOG

Airport security tries to confiscate Kevin Rudd's Vegemite

(Thanks to Ralph)

ARRR THEY DOING DRUGS IN ENGLAND?

You be the judge, matey.

 

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

BARRRRBECUE TIME

Wild hog bursts into Goliad Whataburger

(Thanks to Robert Harrrrrvey)

IT BE A HARRRRD JOB

Aaron Sorkin breaks his own nose -- while writing

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

CSI: ARRRRRRKANSAS

Police are trying to find out who has been trying to suck women's toes in central Arkansas.

(Thanks to jon harrrris)

ARRRTHENTIC

Rabid dead bat found in Olympia fabric store's Halloween display

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

THE NEW YARRRRRK TIMES CROSSWORD PUZZLE

It be piratical today, me hearties.

(Thanks to Howarrrd from Browarrrd)

AVAST, MIAMI!

Number 100.

(Thanks to nursecindy)

THEY SHIVERED HIS TIMBER

Two young women were convicted of sexual assault in the Zürich district court on Tuesday after seeking revenge on their philandering ex-lover last summer by gluing his testicles to his thigh and decorating his genital area with pink feathers.

(Thanks to Mark Schlesinger)

BUCCANEARS IN THE NEWS

Hero rabbit saves owners from house fire in Alaska

(Thanks to Rick Day)

THEY ALSO HAVE VALID FLARRRRRRIDA LICENSES

A retired farmer living in Brazil says he speaks to pineapples – and they talk back.

(Thanks to Ralph)

SURE AND BEGARRRRRRRRAH

DID ZOMBIES ROAM MEDIEVAL IRELAND?

(Thanks to Carrrl)

GUESS THE STATE, MATEYS

At this point, amazingly, Smith spotted an opossum crossing the road and slammed on the brakes, “causing the female to slide out of her seat and mildly into the dashboard.” The report does not make clear whether she still had Smith’s sheathed fake penis in her mouth at the time.

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

SEND THEM TO WARRRSHINGTON

Squirrels nearly bring Senate to a halt

(Thanks to The Perts)

ARRR

Changes to access of babies' heel pricks

(Thanks to Joe in Japan)

ARRR

The vagina is becoming big business on American TV.

(Thanks to Joe in Japan)

ARRR

Now this be how to celebrate Talk Like a Pirate Day.