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July 24, 2011


Wildlife Department officers are studying the growing black bear population in eastern Oklahoma, and they've learned that nothing brings a bear to a trap like a doughnut.

(Thanks to Mark Schlesinger, who says "The problem is keeping the police out of the trap.")


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Black and white's like donuts too.

I think that's why they call policemen "Bears," right?


I could go for a bear claw right about now.

Mmmmm...and this story puts ME in the mood for one of THESE.

Aside from the inevitable cop jokes, it ain't that funny. These dipsticks even admit that giving bears people food is a bad idea. Then do it anyway.

We had a bear attack case up here a couple of years back. The bear finally had to be killed. And then it was discovered that it had been tagged by a "bear researcher". The idiot admitted he had been baiting the bears with people food, which taught them to seek out... more people food. In houses.

And then people wonder why the black bears are prowling suburban neighborhoods.

Could we train them to eat people who talk on their cell phones while driving ?

I wouldn't mind seeing them snap at people who block the grocery store aisles with their carts or scooters.

I've lived in my town for 15 years, and not once have I seen cops at our doughnut shop -- they frequent the Chinese restaurant instead. Not sure what that means.

WriterDude they hang around our Chinese restaurant too. I think it's because a lot of those places give them large discounts for eating there. At least they do here.

WriterDude, I used to live on the Hill in Saint Louis, and had to drive past a doughnut shop on my way to work every morning. Near the local cop shop. It was apparently close to shift change or a scheduled break.


I finally changed my shift schedule just so I could avoid the daily doughnut stampede.

A month ago I was in New Orleans, and since it was a family outing we were obliged to take one of the swamp tours. The whole point of the swamp tours was to see gators, which means the guides need to train gators to come when they hear the boats. Which they do by feeding them marshmallows. Some of the more mature ones were trained to the point that they would rise up out of the water next to the boats, for which they would be rewarded by a slam dunked marshmallow.

"...for which they would be rewarded by a slam dunked marshmallow."

Slam dunk? Not something you'll some try... more than twice, anyway.

Pretty soon, they'll be able to catch their bears inside the Dunkin' Donuts. Sittings next to the stool with the empty overalls.

There was a story out of Fitchburg MA last week about a woman who found a black bear on her deck. She was dumb enough to brag she "handed the bear" one of those big doughy pretzels "then patted it on the nose" before going back into the house. All I can say is that Darwin must of been asleep from a really good bender.

Once a wild animals is "people-fied" they usually have to be put into a zoo or killed. People don't realize that nature is nature and LEAVE IT ALONE. Just look at the bears and the alligators. One does not need to feed them a 5-course dinner and then dessert and wine.

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