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June 28, 2011

THAT WOULD EXPLAIN THE SCENE IN HAMLET WHERE CLAUDIUS ORDERS A PIZZA

A South African anthropologist has asked permission to open the graves of William Shakespeare and his family to determine, among other things, what killed the Bard and whether his poems and plays may have been composed under the influence of marijuana.

(Thanks to The Perts)

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Duuuude, you're harshing my bard!

I love Shakespeare and have read most of his works. Except for the fact he talked funny I have never seen any evidence of marijuana use except for the one line: Claudius! Handeth me the bag of Cheetos forsooth!

GOOD FREND FOR JESUS SAKE FORBEARE TO DIGG THE DUST ENCLOASED HEARE. BLEST BE YE MAN YT SPARES THES STONES AND CURST BE HE YT MOVES MY BONES
I hope ye Southe African Anthropologist thinks twice about this.

Some have claimed that in "Shakespeare's" tomb one will actually find the original manuscripts of the Shakespearean plays that De Vere wrote.

Doobie, or not doobie,
That is the question.
Dude.

Hark! What light through yonder window breaks? 'tis a light; Juliet's holding some."

The play 's the thing wherein I'll catch the Cheezits of the king.

All the worlds a stage, and all the people merely bongholders.

O thou weed,
Who art so lovely fair and smell'st so sweet
That the sense aches at thee, would thou hadst
ne'er been born!

Othello Act 4, Scene 2

Beware the dudes of March.

Snork @ Annie!!

Do not ask for whom the bong fills.
It fills for thee.

My kingdom for a joint!

I'm dubious; marijuana makes you paranoid. Instead of:

"I will not be afraid of death and bane, Till Birnam forest come to Dunsinane." (Macbeth, Act 5)

A stoned Shakespeare would have written:

Cheese it, the copse!

Prize-winners all, and the blue ribbon goes to......"Cheese it, the copse!"

Curtis: Actually, it was written by Max Shulman.

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