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May 31, 2011

WHICH COULD EXPLAIN SOME OF THEIR QUESTIONABLE DECISIONS REGARDING SWIMWEAR

Middle-aged men have 'hotness delusion syndrome'

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

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Here is absolute proof of this delusion.

Phew. Sure glad I don't have THAT disease! Then again, if I did find out I'm not hot, I wouldn't have to sit by the phone day after day waiting for Cindy Crawford to return my calls, e-mails, invitations, flowers, billboards, and flyers.

Wait a minute, where did the age of forty come in as middle age, I am 62 and just barely out of my youth????????????????? I protest

As a 52 year old male I'm scared. I'm not used to being chased by women. Wait...we're not in Australia...darn.

My wife says that if something happened to her, the women would come out of the woodwork to get at me.
However, with age comes the recognition that it's not me, it's the diminishing competition.
I could be the only game in town.

Like musical chairs, only with old farts.

Sigh...

This explains SO MUCH.

Now I understand this.

Of course, the money doesn't hurt (as with Trump and so many others).

I didn't think this syndrome was limited to the middle-aged ones.

And Jeff, grrrrrr.

I guess I'm in the minority but, I think 'Rod the Bod' is still sexy, Tash.

These guys aren't bad either.

Dave plays a Gibson? I thought he was a Fender guy.

Oh crap, I'm deluded?!?!

(zips up)

Good Grief. Does this mean I am being pursued simply because I am filthy rich????

OK, I'm a guy, I'll accept that.....

Helloooooo, Afkat! Slightly o/t but,I haven't yet hit the age where AARP would be interested in me so I'm puzzled why I got an email inviting me to join, single seniors. Right below it was an offer for money off a birth control pill, and my weekly Catholic Digest newsletter.

Cindy, the combination of your mail is hysterically funny.

But my wife, the only person I am truly scared of, keeps me in line.

She has made it clear, that in the event I step off line, she, and her lawyers, will ensure that I never, ever own anything thng new again in my life.

She is a beautiful woman, but relentless. So I obey.

Heh.

Ok, the bod might not be as hot as it once was, but that's why I have a backup plan: natural male enhancement. It has to work. It's guaranteed. Says so right on the box. Now all I need is a taser to fight back the undesireables.

You see the same thing with single male Peace Corps Volunteers (PCVs), working in tough environments and often looking a lot better than the local guys:

Here's my jokey write-up for Kazakhstan's PCV newsletter in 2006, regarding unreported diseases caught in-country:

"MUFS" (Male Unrealistic Fantasy Syndrome)
Cause: Many male PCVs get hit on and propositioned often by lovely ladies. In Kazakhstan, they are more desirable than the meat-market laws in America normally permit. In PCV parlance, they “jump rank”.
Symptoms: Usually not diagnosed until their [Returned]PCV stage, these men believe their lame antics and English proficiency will get the same response in America too.
Prescription: Good luck, you super-studs! Your ride ends here.

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