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May 09, 2011

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

Like many career women, Michelle insisted that becoming a mother would not change her. She was going to be the same professional person, darn it! She was NOT going to turn into one of those women who babble obsessively about the baby and baby clothes and all the other baby fixin's. Above all, she was NEVER going to drive a minivan.

Right.

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First!

For Michelle. Yeah, a little late, but thanks for proving you can be a mom and still be cool. Same thing happened to me, but I never could stand the thought of owning a minivan.
*smacks Dave with menopausal oosik*

So how long did Classic Pooh last?

Probably until Justin Beiber came along.

WD -- several decades so far.

I've been driving a minivan for 20 years, and I've never been particularly maternal. It's useful for carrying furniture, lumber, tools, dead animals, and a variety of other things besides kids, although I always carry some black plastic garbage bags just in case.

*SMACKS* Ralph. I just don't understand why men cannot see how cute itty, bitty baby shoes are! I would also have gone with the Classic Pooh. Good choice, Mrs. Blog.

Is that a "right" (succinct, period) or a "riiiight" (I'm agreeing, please don't throw up on me)?

I remember reading this the first time around, but now I own a minvan.

Wow, nursecindy has been smacking me a lot lately -- maybe she likes me?

Ralph - I drove a minivan for 25 years - up until 2 months ago when my hormones kicked in (mid-life type)and I bought a BMW convertable. Itty bitty baby shoes (and babies) are really cute - they just grow up though to be teen-agers. Oh well, I am just getting paid back for what I did to my parents.

I wonder: I did not go through that. I KNEW I was carrying a boy, because I grew a few hairs on my upper lip..HIS testosterone was being dumped into my system, making me crave fig newtons.

Does carrying a "girl" baby put a double dose of estrogen into your system thereby making you go around looking at shoes? Or did it just enhance Mrs. Blog's desire for MORE shoes, since she was a shoe person anyway. ...I wonder.

I never had a mini-van. Instead I had a large, Ford E-150 van. But it served the same purpose.

But finally Middle Age kicked in, and I got a turbo-charged, two-seat, sports car.

Now I have a large truck.

No mini-van here, either. But several large 4-door sedans--aka mommymobiles. Then when no longer needed, a 2-seater convertible sports car, now the geezermobile--aka motorhome with SUV to tow for running away from home.

*still thinks baby shoes are super cute*

OMG. So after the sports car is the Winnebago? Actually, that might not be too bad......

I'm still driving the big, four door sedan. I'm ready for the Winnebago but have been looking more at Harley's lately. *SMACKS* Ralph again.

Looking at Harley's what? NTTAWWT.

I got yer mid-life crisis right here.

And how is it that no one has even mentioned Baby Blahniks?

re: weinermobile/mid-life crisis -

some men never learn to buckle their meat belts

I for one am not ashamed to let my sister in law or my friends' wives that baby shoes are cute. I'll even buy a few outfits for their kids. For the most part, those ladies KNOW I'm a degenerate boozehound, but their hormones just tell them, "He bought this cute outfit! I must admire this for a few hours." At which point, my friends or my brother is free to hang out with me at the bars. That, and they overlook little things like me using their kids to pick up women. They know I'm feeding those women lines left and right, but their hormones prevent them from interfering. I fully expect this to backfire at some point because women are crazy and violent.

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