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April 28, 2011

CSI: STAFFORD

An 18-year-old man dressed up in a cow suit stole 26 gallons of milk around 10:35 p.m. from the Garrisonville Walmart, Stafford County Sheriff’s spokesman Bill Kennedy said.

Thanks to Horace LaBadie, VanderhogenBand, Chuck Cody and Greg Snow)

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Why buy the cow suit - so you can get the milk for free?

oh, the irony.

My area of Virginia always has the most fun stories. I'm trying to find out if anyone I know knows this kid....

The judge should sentence him to death by the electric milking machine.

Then he made a badly-misspelled sign advocating increased consumption of chicken.

Thank goodness he wasnt after the Vagistat. Anyone ever notice the resemblance between Dune's (the film) spice-producing giant worms and prophylactics?

Details, man, details! Was it:

The McDonalds inside the Walmart?
The Garrisonville McDonalds directly across 610 from the Walmart?
The Aquia McDonalds just across I-95 from the Walmart?
or perhaps the Shelton Shop McDonalds 2-3 miles up 610 from the Walmart?
I think we can safely rule out the McDonalds on Courthouse Rd and the one at Quantico MCB.

But seriously, there are 2 Citgo stations on the corner with that Walmart (and the G'ville McD, and a Hardees/BP). Evidently the owner of the first one bought the corner lot when they were building the Wmt since he didn't want to lose business to the service gas station across the street.

Snork @ KJP.

Least. Observant.Walm@rt. Greeters. EVER.

Soon afterward, witnesses told Stafford sheriff's deputies that the man was handing out the pilfered milk jugs to passersby outside of the Walmart, Kennedy said.

Are we sure he wasn't pledging a frat?

Ed has made one of the most observant posts yet on this blog. Yes Ed now that you mention it .!!!!

I had a rash. The doctor prescribed a milk bath.

I ordered thirty gallons from the milkman.

He asked, "Do you want it pastuerized?"

I said, "No. Just up to my chin."

Ow, bon.

You know, that's just off I95 and only 800 miles north of Florida. Miami effect?

Udderly ridiculous.

Fortunately, the guy wasn't too hard to spot (so to speak).

He was trying to live for heifer.

Hey, my ex-wife lives in Stafford! How bad can it be?

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