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March 26, 2011

THIS IS EXACTLY WHY WE NEVER TRIED IT, EVEN WHEN OFFERED THE CHANCE AT PARTIES

A university professor says he has become addicted to doing press-ups on upturned chopping knives.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who's guessing he's single)

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Spoil sport here; DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU DON'T WANT THE "TRICK" TO BE SPOILED.

P=F/A AND Chopping knives don't have sharp edges. But it looks scary.

4000 press-ups??? If I try to do more than 5 I have to lay down and have a cigarette!

Pretty sure this has to do with two of the primary masculine motivators: alcohol and "just 'cause I can".

Steve, Also

Because it looks cool.

Women on the other hand are asking, "Why?"

Now playing: Bryan Adams:

Now it cuts like a knife
But I'm addicted, why fight?
It cuts like a knife
But it hurts me just right.

There's times I've 'bin arrested,
There's times I thought I'd
'bin misunderstood
So wait a minute darlin'
Can't you see that these press ups
Make my abs look just like wood?

This wouldn't be the first time
The knives have gone astray
Cuz' the cutting edge has worn away.

Now it cuts like a knife
But I'm addicted, why fight?
It cuts like a knife
But it hurts me just right....

Finally, someone that regular addicts can feel condescending toward.

*Leaves preposition at end for Annie to pick up*

Somewhere up above (presumably) Jack LaLanne is smiling.

In Annie's behalf, "Up with which I shall not put."

I'm waiting for a blog guy to tell me why a man would want to do this.

nc - because the knives are there?

The answer, nc, is, of course, that the man is, without a doubt, and, since birth, most likely, a .... what was the question?

Look sharp! Feel sharp! Be sharp!

My fave preposition-related joke -
Lindsey: Where's the party at?
Paris: Never end a sentence with a preposition.
Lindsey: Where's the party at, beeyotch?

That much exercise, bet his pecs are really cut.

A comment for Mikey VA above: I have one of those Chinese veggie cleavers; it's about my favorite cooking knife. When my wife and I got it as a wedding present 30+ years ago, it was razor-sharp. After that much time and much use, it's still sharp enough that no normal person would want to do any push-ups on it. I was trying to show a friend of my daughter's how to cut up a chicken with it a while ago and she cut the 5#!+ out of her hand. You're welcome to try it if you like, though.

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