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March 24, 2011

THEY ARE IF YOU'RE HOLDING THEM IN YOUR HAND

Oregon court rules teeth not considered dangerous weapon in a fight

(Thanks to Chris Elzi)

Comments

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Your own teeth, or someone else's?

It's an important distinction.

They are if you are Chuck Norris. But you are not.

Prosthetic ear? That bites..

Cool, this means if I am mad at someone I can just mail my teeth to them and let them bite and then have the bitee return them to me.

The sentence will be reduced if he flosses.

The NHL figured this out decades ago.

Defense attorney, examining a witness to the fight: "Now did you actually see Mr. Kuperus bite the ear off his opponent?"

"No, they were scuffling on the ground."

Defense attorney, asking ONE question too many . . .
"Then how do you know he bit the ear off?"

A: "Because I saw him spit it out."

No Mike Tyson jokes yet?

I'll check back later.

Friends, Romans....

The victim "requires a prosthetic replacement".
He's going to get a peg-ear?
Man, now all the pirates are gonna be jealous.

When teeth are outlawed only outlaws will have teeth. The rest of us will have to gum them!

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