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March 22, 2011


MARCH 22--After being denied a kiss yesterday by a neighbor 39 years her junior, a 92-year-old Florida woman allegedly returned to her home, retrieved a .380 semi-automatic handgun, and fired several shots into the man’s residence.

(Thanks to bonmot, Mark Schlesinger and Jeff Meyerson, who says "Let's play 'Guess the state where this happened.'")


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Give her 30 to life! Oh, wait...

"Heppened"??? WTFBBJeff? You speak spinster?

Anyone else wanna duct tape a winch to the back of her head and apply a few bungee cords to that saggy face?

I don't blame her. Wouldn't kiss me either Sheesh, dang kids don't know what they're missing.

Hormones and guns: A lethal combination.

Eyebrows by "Sharpie"

The man said that despite him telling Staudinger that he is in a relationship, she insists he is "supposed to be her man."

I'd suggest he stay off her lawn in future.

I really hate to be serious here, but my mother was sweet, non-violent grandmother. Up to, maybe, her second serious stroke.
At that point, she became racist, irritable, occasionally (mildly) violent, and she suddenly developed the vocabulary of those legendary sailors.
My REAL mother would have been horrified at the changes that happened to her mind. Knowing this, the family took no offense at the occasional outbursts.
She had no access to a gun, but if she had I wouldn't have put it past her to pull the trigger.
And we're all getting a little older.

This may not answer the questions about "sex after 70" ... but horniness is apparently alive and well @ 92 ...

I learned the truth at ninety two
That love was right next door to you
And middle aged girls big fake breasts
Who came to call without arrests
The early bird specials I never knew
The Friday night bingo hair of blue
Were spent on one less long of tooth
At ninety two I learned the truth...

Nothing says " I love you " like a few bullets whistling through the woodwork.

Lifetime should make a movie about this. And call it "Nearly Fatal Attraction."



Guys, I'm betting she's single!!

Hey, it's the Third Doctor! I miss that guy.

Gives new meaning to "the kiss of death"...

as in Katy Perry's "I kissed Death and I liked it"..


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