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March 27, 2011

APPEARING SOON ON THE APPRENTICE

Poisonous Egyptian cobra escapes Bronx Zoo

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Tash)

Comments

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Not to worry - it won't get on foot, and it is unarmed.

*scoots a little further West just to be safe*

*flings 'far' up to previous post*

There are probably lots of jokes about what a poisonous cobra can do in NY, but I can't think of any. Also, isn't poisonous cobra redundant? Are there any non-poisonous cobras.

If it can make it to the Capitol in DC, it'll fit right in.

It's young and doesn't know its way around. They'll find it when it stops to asp for directions.

To be safe, I think New York should be evacuated.

Good point, cindy. We'll start by sending The Bronx to you.

Latest update: as of this evening they still haven't found it and aren't letting zoogoers into the snake area.

Maybe they should call in this guy.

Or does anyone on the blog speak parseltongue?

Yikes! for the Bronx.. Egyptian cobras are aggressive.. hopefully it will be too cold there right now

Think about it: You're a cobra in New York city in March. Wherever he is now, he's headed south. Anyone tries to stop him better be wearing some snake proof chaps.

First New York rat he meets, he's toast.

... or the pigeons will peck him to death.

He's just riding around with on the subway, drinking Night Train and peeing in the corners.

Hopefully the snake ends up in Trumps shorts thus nipping his presidential bid in the "buds".

I don't get why they locked the snake house. How's he supposed to get back in?

Excellent point, Tash. Jeff, I'll take the 5th Avenue crowd. Let's send The Bronx to Florida.

Nice media suggestion, Dave, but The Donald just fired a snake tonight. Might be kind of repe- (or reptile) titious

Tough neighborhood. I went to college a few blocks from there. Got attacked by a squirrel. IANMTU. Stay safe, widdle snakey.

I'd say something about reptile dysfunction again, but it's more like a case of zoo dysfunction. By now, they should have sent in the mongooses, but the paperwork required may take a few weeks. 911 can look forward to reports of loose cobras all over the city, most of which will turn out to be broken radiator hoses, escaped slinkies, etc. The snake will head for someplace warm, like Miami.

Where the hell is Rikki-tikki-tavi?

Check the Yankee clubhouse.

S'ok, cindy. Florida has enough Noo Yawkers thankyouverymucho!

*smacks Cheesewiz with World Series trophy*

Update, as of Monday evening: still missing.

They said it could hide out for weeks but are afraid it might "pounce" on someone sooner.

He's 20 INCHES long. Yes, he's venomous (not poisonous) but let's get real, he's scared to death.
No one is going to die except, possibly, the snake.
I've faced much larger Eastern Diamondbacks and I guarantee they were more scared than I was.
Both of us, however, were cautious.

What's with the spammers who make me think of shadowy men sitting in the dark in front of their computers, fondling themselves?

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