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February 22, 2011

THAT WOULD EXPLAIN WHY THERE ARE SO MANY OF THEM

Spider venom better than Viagra?

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

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'The venom of the wandering spider -- also known as the banana spider- causes erections in men.'


*snork*...'is that a banana in your pocket...?'

Key quote: "These molecules are called toxins." Give that physiologist a Ph.D!

It also explains why there are so many black widows - "If he touches me again, I'm gonna kill him!"

I think seeing a spider with a 5" leg span might quell any excitement that might otherwise take hold.

Discuss.

I asked hubby to pull down his pants and let my banana spider bite him.

He respectfully declined.

And ran out the door.

Screaming.

Loudly.

I don't see what could go wrong.

Him: *Placing spider on groinage area* "Oh honey, I got something for you..."

Her: *Grabbing shoe* WHACK!

Yeah, Siouxie, I could see how some swelling might occur.

This was featured on 1000 Ways to Die. (Bad youtube clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGgAJpw_3oo )

Remember if the spider bites you for longer than 4 hours you should call a doctor.

In addition to the hours-long painful erection, the wandering spider’s bite can cause loss of muscle control, severe pain, difficulty breathing and, if not treated, death, due to oxygen deprivation (with anti-venom, the victim usually recovers within a week.)

But other than that...OK?

It reminds me of those "ask your doctor" ads: if you're depressed you're supposed to ask your doctor for Cymb@lt@ but one of the side effects (ISIANMTU) is ... suicidal thoughts!

I mean, WTFBBQ?!

I can see the next add: A woman looks coyly at a guy...Narrator: you never know when that special moment will come.....woman takes spider and sticks it on his face.....SCREAM....woman mounts man then eats him......

At the bottom of the linked page, it says, "Hide Tools"!

Bite of the Spider Woman. Then two bathtubs.

OK, for those who missed it last time, the Wandering Spider, aka "banana spider" is TOTALLY DIFFERENT from the Golden Web spider, Nephila clavipes, which builds those huge webs in Florida. It is also known by the locals as a "banana spider" because its body looks like a ripe banana. The Nephila is non-aggressive and its venom is not effective against humans even in those rare occasions when it does bite.
To answer another question, in the 50,000 or so spiders I have handled, accidents have happened. I know of four bites I have gotten that I could see. The spider's fangs were too small for me to feel the bites.
In none of those cases did I get excited in any way.
I like and respect spiders. I do not encourage experiments by those who are not comfortable with them. You'll both be unhappy.

*swallows fly*

So ... (!) ... if I allow one of these spiders to bite me (one might guess that it would be most effective if the bite wuz in a "very important place" ... IYKWIM), I could have a "permanent" re-instatement of prior but no-longer-available bodily "functions" ... until I die ...

I think I'll merely skip the intro and the side-effects ... go straight to "death" ...

(BTW, bonmot ... a spider doesn't usually -- or always, ennyway -- actually consume the entire corpus of one of its victims who happen to be a fly ... the way I seem to recall the process is that the spider merely "sucks out the juices" of the subject @ hand ... IYKWIM, AITYD ... *wink, wink, nudge, nudge* ... )

*swallows Spanish Fly*

Cindy, have you ever had to treat someone for this? It did say the spiders travel...

Elon -- exhibiting symptoms of pry-apism.

Not true. I was actually more wondering about the look on the guy's face when someone told him the pain would subside in a week or two.

Annie! Get that thing away from me!

The bite in the groin area is not the worst part, it is applying the tourniquet.

Cialis.
See spider.
See Ellis run.

Elon, I never treated anyone for this. I did have a guy come in once with a snake bite close to his thingie. He was so nice. He even brought the snake with him in a paper bag. The snake was still alive. The doctor and I almost killed each other trying to run out the door.

HAR! @ Annie!

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