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December 17, 2010

SPORTS BULLETIN FROM DOWN UNDER

This just in.

(Thanks to Joe in Japan)

Comments

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'Thunderous Johnson rouses Australia'

...and the Spirits of the Nation were lifted!

Ok, this is a joke right? You just put a bunch of words together and pretended it was a real story?

Does the thunder come a few seconds after lightning?


Why do cricket articles always look like word scrambles? Don't answer that, or I will smack you roundly with my paddle scoop.

I have been in New Zealand since 1993. I still do not have a CLUE about cricket. Truly they must make it up as they go. One cool fact, though. The ball is very hard and the "pitcher" can throw at the "batter" which will cause him much "pain" if he connects. Other than that, cricket is a truly stupid sport.

thunderous johnson - didnt he open for the sex pistols?

Your most thunderous johnsons tend to do their best work down under...

Where women blow and men chunder.

Jimmy Johnson is in Oz?

Wouldn't a thunderous Johnson get in the way of waltzing with Mathilde?

Perhaps, but it would certainly perk up a haka.

Hogsatemysister,

Cricket can't be much worse than 'Merkin football, where some guy grabs a ball from between another man's legs, and proceeds to make a pass at yet another guy. While all of them are wearing padded tights. And don't get me started on "baseball" where a main goal is apparently to successfully complete a home invasion.

On Sky news today explaining how Johnson managed to take 6 England wickets in the third Ashes test the reader said. "The day started well for England and conditions looked good for batting, then Johnson managed to get some swing and the wickets started tumbling." ISIANMTU

If you don't know cricket the above quote will be meaningless. Send me a PM and I'll explain.

Well, at the least the Sheilas, or perhaps the Nancys, NTTAWWT, should be happy.

It addition, the batsmen had a lot of trouble with googlies and the umpire was always putting his finger up.

No, queensbee ... he once opened for the Vagina Monologues ...

(Mot' ... I sorta know a teensy bit about cricket ... enuf to glean about one nanogram of usable information frum that string of words ... but don't try to explain ... I'm still in a muddle as to the ramifications of the infield fly rule ... and I usta hadda KNOW that, since I wuz umpirin' the games ... )

But...
But...
I don't understand...

I've never been to Australia.

...while Ponting nibbled down the legside...

Maybe that's why Johnson was thunderous?

I saw The Thunderous Johnsons open for Big Dick and the Extenders back in 1988. They kept the audience up all night long.


Carl-Bear,

Slapping each other on the butt, hocking loogies onto the turf and each other, and pausing after every other play to sell terrible beer and worse cars? Thass Merican football at its best. And it does not involve googlies or leg before wicket, not out, or Johnsons. Well, maybe the Johnsons.

Any bloggerettes wanna show Carl-Bear 'round the bases?

Meanie, I'm willing to grab throw a few balls and polish some bats for the sake of the blog, of course.

#48 screams down the front stretch at Charlotte Motor Speedway at 190MPH in an 865HP(445HP w/ restrictor plate), 5.86L pushrod V8, 4bbl carb, 530 ft·lbf, Chevy. That's the only thundering Johnson worth a damn in the world.

Meanie, let's stick with the bloggetters. I'm not a switch-hitter.

Screamin', smelly, and runnin' around in a circle. NASCAR's a true redneck tradition.

As for Carl-Bear, I like my curve ball high and inside, IYKWIM.

The US and Australia are truly two countries separated by a common language. But we both like our beer, and that's good enough for me.

For those of you who do not speak NASCAR and need Loudmouth's earlier comment translated, this is the Johnson he is talking about. Although I still think that this is still the best NASCAR racer ever.

Two quotations come to mind. Cricketers werre often referred to as "The flannelled fools", and "only mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the noon-day sun".

Cricket is a very complicated game and on any day of a 5 day test match there could be several games within a game. The comments between say a batsman and a bowler at times could make a sailor blush. It's only after several years of following the game that one can truly begin to know all the nuances.

I'd rather spend several years figuring out how to unlock ladies' magnetic underwear, thanks.

Put me on hog's team

Thanks for understanding cindy. Next time you're up this way stop by the holler for a mason jar of shine.

Is that a Thunderous Johnson in your pocket or etc.

"On the best day of the series since its first at the Gabba, a previously impregnable England were rounded up for 187 in reply to Australia’s 268, before the home side pushed through to 3-119 at the close for a lead of 200."

Can someone tell me what the &*%$ was the actual score of the actual !@#$ing game!?

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