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November 11, 2010

NO WORD ON WHETHER HE'S SINGLE

Mouse-infested naked man tased, arrested for burglary, assault

(Thanks to shtanga and Ralph)

Comments

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I'm sure he was just vacuuming his room naked when the mouse assaulted him. Happens all the time.

During a medical exam at a nearby hospital, medical personnel found a mouse tail hanging from Smith's rectum. An X-ray revealed a mouse lodged inside Smith.

He told emergency room personnel that he could not remember what had happened to him.

Now, that's not something I'd soon forget.

What was the charge against the mouse?

their suspect was found naked with a mouse in his rectum and apparently drugged,

Was the mouse or the man drugged? Or both?

For some reason I pictured Paul Hogan saying, "That's not a party; THIS is a PARTY."

Darn, missed another one.

... he was charged with resisting arrest, 1st and 3rd degree assault a battery charges ...

Was it the positive or negative end?

They interrupted him before he could send the cat in to look for the mouse.

Oh dear, I'm afraid this has all been a most unfortunate misunderstanding...

The mouse was charged with breaking and entering. I've heard of a Moose lodge, but never a mouse lodge.

It is important pace yourself and separate your indulgences, otherwise Christmas dinner conversations become awkward.

Now that's a rough day. Mine's looking pretty tame by comparison. Can't remember the last time I had a mouse in the rectum but it sounds like this guy can't either.

"He told emergency room personnel that he could not remember what had happened to him."

Whatever his story, it pales next to the mouse's.

If I may, with your indulgence, meander off topic for a moment;

They shall not grow old, as we that are left grow old.
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.

Someone slipped him a Mickey?

Wonder how the mouse felt about getting tazed.

And someone's gotta say it, so it might as well be me . . . "Rectum? Nearly killed 'im!"

On stories like this I make it a habit to read the comments first to see if I want to read the story. No I do not want to read this. I have to spend several hours now just getting this whole concept to go away.

EEEEEEK!!!!!

*snorks* all around!

Looks like some people aren't reading my update.

The man was also charged with burglary, and the mouse with buggery.



As Mr. Haller said, it was a COMPUTER MOUSE.

I think he had to have had help getting it "stuck".

He though he could stuff a whole desktop PC up there,
starting with the mouse,but the damn thing got stuck.

Another reason to avoid drugs.

In other news, Apple Inc. has delayed the introduction of it new iFart platform pending some last minute safety concerns.

He should have used a cordless mouse instead.

I don't want to know how he double-clicks.

there's a crAPP for that...

No word on Richard Gere's response.

LapTOP. Not bottom.

What kind of websites are you viewing that you need the mouse up your keester?

Just one mouse is all it takes to be "infested"? Someone rescind the headline-writer's Poetic License, please.

I'm with oldfatguy. I often read the comments on stories like this before clicking on the actual story. For some reason I'm glad it was a computer mouse and not a real one. I had a guy come into the ER once with a flashlight stuck there and he had no idea how it had happened. He said he actually sat on it while fully clothed. Maybe that's what happened to this guy.

Thank you, Mot, for the reminder.

Someone should've told him that "Take this job and shove it!" is really just a figure of speech.

Two words for this guy:
1. Ketamine

2. High quality Hashish..

He needs to stay off both...

And they never remember what they did.

The Judge will give him time off his sentence for the length of his hospitalization.

Seriously.

If you use two hands on the keyboard it might help if you could use another appendage for the mouse.

It must have slipped while he was trying to scroll with his dick while typing.

Thank you, Mot

You don't want to know what he did with his hard drive.

How much RAM was needed to get it up there?

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