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October 29, 2010

WE'RE SURE THERE'S A PERFECTLY INNOCENT EXPLANATION

Man Arrested With 2,060 Diamonds In Stomach

(Thanks to jon harris)

Comments

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Eating carats is supposed to be healthy.

'He had placed the jewels into 42 condoms and swallowed them... After police fed him laxatives, it took him six hours to eject the stones'

Ouch!

Someone's gonna need some 'Chicken Soup for the Rubber Soul'

Poo, ice, sacks, and crime...how many were going to do hard time?

Normally I would find a man with this many diamonds very appealing. This one, not so much.

*smacks sandy with a sackful o' diamonds dimes*

((((annie!))))

hey, i <3 the beatles, ok?

(from the jailhouse crapper)

ow. ow. ow. ow.

ow. ow. ow.

ow. ow.

ow.

Sounds like a dangerous way to smuggle jewels.

I've heard of "blood diamonds". This is a whole new twist.

Diamonds weren't so bad - it was those dang Tiffany settings.

Laxatives and Bananas and Six Hours
Loosey in the guy with diamonds!
Loosey in the guy with diamonds!
Oooh - Oooh!

1 Hazar = 1000
1 Lakh = 100,000 ( 0.1 million)
1 crore = 10,000,000 ( 10 million)
1 arab = 100 crore = 1 billion

(So “3 Crore rupees” equals roughly 2 dollars and 47 cents… --Allen)

Diamonds are a guts best friend.

Diamonds in the roughage.

Well..someone told him to cut the crap.

If there are any stones left in his system, I'm sure someone will be glad to mount them for him in jail.

Annie...I think you switched your pronouns there

This gives smuggling a whole new facet.

Just where I was going, Mot; you beat me to it.

EXCELLENT PUNS !

Remember, you can only find a Tiffany Case in Diamonds are Forever...

If they had used a portlier dude for transport, they may have gotten away with it, since he'd have more room for um, 'cargo.'

After all, everyone in the smuggling trade knows that diamonds are for heifers.

*snicker* Cue Shirley Bassey--but with More Cowbell!

why wood insanity would work in my case? in comparison, I'm normal!

Good one, Annie!

Butt we wouldn't want to condom such activities.

The other inmates called him "Rolex", due to his jeweled movement.

Not to be confused with his cellmate, "Timex," who takes a licking and keeps on tricking.

*snork* @ Annie.

Diamonds are forulcers.

Or for Annie: Diamonds are for effers.

I hear this guy is trying to cut back to just a couple of Debeers per day.

Not only polish that turd, cut and set it, too.

'Robbed' for Her Pleasure

Isn't that near where those civit cats "process" coffee? Does it make the diamonds more valuable, too?

"It's not just any engagement diamond dear. It's special. It's one a guy in India pulled out of his ass. What??"

The Stool Of India.

The Jewel of the Bile

The Brown Jewels.

His throne was encrusted with them

Like BB's rattling around in a tin bucket.

HEH. When I was a young member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police in Calgary, I arrested a guy who we knew was trying to smuggle what was then a large amount of heroin, inside his stomach.

We charged him with posession of narcotics for the purpose of trafficking, even though the ....errr...evidence was not readily available.

After about a week, the local daily, the Calgary Herald, started running a countdown above their masthead...eg "14 days and still counting".

He was stubborn....lasted 28 days before he had to succumb and....errr...deposit the evidence.

That is when I knew that drug enforcement was a $h1tty job....

His colon be a gem of the oh-sh!ts.

*I know, I know. Mass groaning time*

took him a month to crack, afkat?

Nice, Afkat - you Canucks can hold a guy 28 days without evidence, yet you can't seem to keep Celine Dion 10 minutes. Thanks loads.

And no, we don't want Randy Quaid back.

*snork* @ everyone; and massive *groan* for Meanie

Wow, Afkat. Talk about anal retentive.

When I first read the headline, I thought it was
about this...

(But it wasn't.)

Diamonds are forever...

which explains Neil's popularity...

which explains why it takes at least six hours...

and yet, fails to answer the question, will he be doing time on the rock for swallowing the rocks?

ALSO a whole new meaning to

"get your rocks off (out)"!!!

As Obi-Wan might say: These are not the family jewels you are looking for.

His jail nickname better be "Bugs Bunny", after all the carets he ate!


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