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September 27, 2010

THESE KIDS TODAY

Car thieves caught because they can't drive stick

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

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tried running away

Dude, is it 'left foot/right foot' or the other way around?

*Makes mental note to learn to drive a stick*

But they could hotwire??

They couldn't escape, because they used the GPS.

So the guy in the trash truck has sons?

Here, only recently have automatic boxes become popular, stick shift (or manual boxes) have always been the norm rather than the exception. In fact, all driver's licence testing have to be done in manual cars.

Not exactly what you'd call a clutch performance.

Har.

teen1: What's this thing?
teen2: 'sa stick-shift
teen1: Whatsit do?
teen2: 'posed to shift gear manually
teen1: Let's get Mikey to steal it. He'll steal anything!

Mikey: *grind* ->lurch<- %^shudder^%

- - - later, after cops arrest them - - -

teen2: stupid Mikey . . .

diggitydiggitydiggity d'oh!

BTW, I sent Judi a self-addressed envelope with a 22 cent stamp on it. I want my "Save I-95" bumper sticker, or random trash.

The teens were probably victims of Weingarten's Stick Shift Method

Is our chillen lernin?

*send Horace a Reese's wrapper and ziplock bag with a distictive cantelope smell*

You're welcome

They stole a purple Ford?

You can't fix stupid...or Fords.

Four on the floor yields two in the can.


'Police later learned the teens did not know how to operate a stickshift'...


*wonders if they know about 'inflation'*

They may, however, learn about fellatio, which is apparently kinda the same thing these days.

Grind Theft Auto

As a health inspector, I once worked a truck wreck involving about 35,000 lbs of raw chicken. The driver reported being hijacked about 100 feet away from where the truck was overturned into a ditch.
I thought the story smelled until the police arrested the hijackers. Neither of these geniuses had the slightest idea how to drive a semi.
If it hadn't been downhill, they wouldn't have gotten 100 feet.

@BJ: of course, i meant tire inflation

Caught in 60 Seconds. Nic Cage's next movie.

Clyde, where did we go wrong?? *Sob*

Even I can drive a stick shift. I'll bet they couldn't work a phonograph or an 8 track player either if their lives depended on it.

Isn't driving a stick part of the curriculum at Hogwarts?

Stick Shift for Dummies, anyone? I learned to drive a stick when I was only 13 and went to move my Dad's truck and ended up knocking down about 40 feet of the neighbor's fence. He made me get out there and learn to drive it, whether I wanted to or not. In the summer time. Rain or shine. He would work nights and come home in the morning and stayed up long enough until I could have done it blindfolded. Then I had to help him fix the neighbor's fence. I was so mad and he asked me 'Now, what valuable lesson did you learn?', and I proudly said 'Next time make sure it is dark and nobody could see me do it?' I thought I was being funny, but he did not. Years later though, we were reminiscing and he recalled that and laughed about it. I asked him why now did he think it was funny and not then. His answer was...that is how I did it when I was a young boy, it was dark and nobody around and I got in and I ended up knocking over your Grandma's prize-winning rose bushes, and then backed straight into the front porch. Nobody saw me do it, but when your Grandpa came out in his underwear cussing and fussing at me, I wished it was daylight so I could have seen what I was doing and maybe it wouldn't have happened. He, however didn't need a to see me to whoop my butt. And he never did laugh about it. Lesson learned? Stop and smell the roses? Before running over them? Some people never learn.

"Police noticed a SUV lurching back and forth near Academy Boulevard and Platte Avenue."

I have driven that stretch of road and can't figure how is this different from all the other cars lurching back and forth.

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