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August 21, 2010

WHY THIS BLOG DID NOT GO TO MEDICAL SCHOOL

"I once retrieved a plastic helicopter from a child's nose."

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

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"That's nothing. I once removed $45.10 from a suspect's anus."

"Who gave him ten cents?"

"Everybody."

Ear Force One must have taken a wrong turn.

The spiral part from a man's urethra? That had to hurt. I've helped remove my fair share of strange things when in the ER. A flashlight from a guy's rear end etc. I can't tell you how many kids I've had in with Coco Puffs in their noses. It's like the cereal dares them to do it. By the way if your kid does that crunch and blow. The only one that really got me was a woman that had a fish hook in her eyelid. The husband was casting his line and snagged her instead. She was extremely mad at him even though he did point out he removed the worm from the hook. Everyone above was fine although the guy with the flashlight, it was one of those big Maglights, had to have it removed surgically.

Flashlight huh?? Cindy, what were they looking for??

My former boss's wife was a radiology tech. She had some stories. The most applicable to our sound company was the guy with a studio microphone (like the big Golden EIB mic) up his tuchus. Here in DC heads are an epidemic problem.

This was a clinic patient on House. House pulled a metal policeman from the kid's nose and sent him home. Later, the kid was back and House pulled a fireman from the kid's nose, and sent him home. Next time the kid had a firetruck stuck up his nose. Then House got the idea that the kid was thinking logically, and House got a big magnet and pulled a little iron dog from the kid's nose. First he put the dog in. Then he sent the policeman in to find it. Then the fireman, and last of all the firetruck.

Not quite along the same lines, but when I was editing incoming manuscripts for the medical journal Radiology we had access to other journals in the field as well. One was Seminars in Roentgenology whose editor apparently had a great sense of humor. One story he recounted happened during WW2 I believe; the men were scheduled to have a barium x-ray of the lower GI tract, but instead of swallowing barium they were somehow given plaster of Paris by mistake. I don't need to tell you it doesn't flow out the other end nearly as well. With great glee he recalled the "exquisite pain" and the cries of unbearable pain that echoed from that tent the next day...

I once got something stuck somewhere....butt it's a boring story....

Can't get enough foreign body removal stories?

...

...

...


Words escape me.

Siouxie, it is where the sun don't shine.

The funny part about the flashlight was it was on. He was a human glow worm.. He said he accidentally sat on it in his pick up truck. We asked him why he would sit in his truck naked and he swore he had on blue jeans when it happened.

*SNORK* @ my BFF! It is THE story!!


BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

The spiral from a spiral-bound notebook (male urethra).

ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow

That hurts even to write it.

*snork* at the lit flashlight story. Good one, cindy.

I love how he was dressed at the time. Sure.

Jackie just watched an episode of Hawthorne where they had to remove an 'action figure' from a guy's rear end.

No stories of having to remove any fingers? I am surprised.

So, nc, it was bright end in? or was he playing firefly? 3 D cell type? Youch.

3 French Hens, 2 Turtle Doves, and a Partridge in the abdominal cavity.

"And they said I couldn't find my butt with both hands and a flashlight...I showed them!"

I surgeon I met once commented on a rectum-meets-vibrator insertion,


"Do you want me to take it out, or just change the batteries?"

I'm intrigued ..
surgeons removed from the stomach a bound and gagged Barbie doll that the patient had swallowed

Do tell.

I was most intrigued by the Barbie doll. How can you swallow one of those things???

Booger.

*snorks* and Second...

Yes, I wondered which end for the flashlight and the microphone.... Reflects (hm) greatly on intended purpose.

AT Second, sheesh.

"Bound and Gagged Barbie" WBAGNFARB

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