« Previous | Main | Next »

August 20, 2010

HEY, IT'S A BETTER INVESTMENT THAN THE STOCK MARKET

BAY COUNTY - A man being booked into jail gained another charge when detention officers found dollar bills falling out of his posterior.

(Thanks to Joe in Japan, Matt Filar and Jeff Meyerson)

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

Maybe that's where his family keeps their money. And their brains.

So much for "unmarked" bills..

Man, banks are putting ATMs everywhere. What kind of fee does he charge?

If I could produce twenties that way...

Forget the ones and the twenties how about fifties?

They said he was loaded.

Is there a penalty for early withdraws?

son: "Dad, I need new shoes."

dad: "Do I look like I poop dollar bills?" wait a minute ...

gives new meaning to 'a$$hat'.....

motw: exactly. that's what my kids think - i'm always reminding them "i don't have money falling out of my a55."

He should have had that crazy midwife sew his @ss shut.

He had money coming out the wazoo?

Please remember to tip your warden.

You don't even wanna know how he makes change.

Does he take credit cards too?

i feel for the poor sucker who had to pick up the bills and count them.... ugh! talk about a bad day at work

Hey, it's better than pi$$ing away his money.

I'm sure the other prisoners are gonna love him, IYKWIM.

Shake that moneymaker!

Pretty much how the treasury goes about getting its money.

Dad, can I get new shoes?

Not today, kid, Daddy's constipated.

which gives the brilliant idea of just farting at my son the next time he wants a new pair of basketball shoes... "what, it didn't work?"

I thought money grew on trees. If he were about 20 years older,these were $100 bills, and this was a chronic condition I might be interested in him.

It's all about the Bendovers.

The prison's new ATM, in every sense.

ok...ewwwwwsnork @ mud!

Too bad this wasn't the Army. I could picture a drill sergeant's surprised face when he shouted "Drop and give me twenty!!!"

Everyone knows the posterior is much better suited for swiping a credit card than for accepting cash. Cash should only be inserted using a device similar to those cylindrical containers they have at the bank drive throughs.

"What's in your wallet?"

Snorks to all y'all.

Gives a new meaning to Dave's book, Money Secrets.

and snork at Annie

booty-bootylicious?

I can't remember when a story had more potential one-liners. And Nora, the U.S Engraving Bureau here in Fort Worth has a special department that deals with "recovering" damaged currency that people turn in--although they may reconsider that practice after reading this.

The guards who do the strip searches are not paid nearly enough to deal with this sh!t.

cindy, since your son is a cop perhaps he'd know: do they teach them technical terms like "buttock area" in Report Writing 101 at the Academy?

Is this covered by his PPO?

Talk about dirty money, huh?

"I tell ya, warden, there's money in them there hills!"

Imagined denominations:

The Skid-mark Fifty

The Rabbit-turd Twenty

The dreaded One Dollar Corn Bill

The money will probably be laundered in an offshore bank.


He is a human ATM = Ass + Trickling + Money

Ewwww... I sure hope those bills don't go back into circulation!

thanks, librarian.... at least i can feel better that i don't have THAT job! lmao

$catological.

Cheek, please!

I guess they can just run the money through the washing machine, but gross!

Poop & change. Damn, I only get monkeys.

The comments to this entry are closed.

-
 
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Copyright | About The Miami Herald | Advertise