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August 22, 2010

EVEN THE IMAGINARY ONES CAN BE DANGEROUS

Police in the St. Louis suburb of Florissant spent a big part of the day looking for a baboon on the loose. A grade school went into lockdown. A woman scattered potato chips on the ground and made monkey sounds to try and lure the primate. But in the end, a 14-year-old girl admitted it was all a hoax after the picture she claimed to have snapped proved to be one she actually found on the Internet.

(Thanks to Mark Buckley)

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My favorite part is even after the hoax was exposed the mother is still insisting there's a real baboon out there, just not her daughter's fake internet baboon.

The police actually released a sketch of the suspect baboon.

I hope someone tranqed the potato chip lady.

"Wolf!"

I smell a viral ad campaign for Lays potato chips and Cheetos.

Kids and their monkeyshines...

"Get off my lawn!"

It's easy to confuse all sorts of things with a baboon.

Did they check the English Channel?

The best part is at the end, where the parents insist that there's a real baboon out there, just not the one in the picture.

"While that particular animal was not that one, there is in fact something out in the area," the statement read, in part.

So we should probably keep checking back with the potato chip lady.

I agree with Punkin. Potato chip lady needed a tranquilizer. Although I would like to see a video of her making monkey sounds. I didn't even know baboons liked potato chips. Didn't school just start? This kid is really starting the school year right.

One woman in the neighborhood being searched said she owned a monkey. She made baboon-like noises and scattered Lays potato chips and Cheetos to try and lure the animal. Yet another woman who claimed to own a monkey walked around with a net.

Notice everyone involved with a monkey in this story is female. Just sayin'.

In the immortal words of Bing Crosby, "And all the monkeys aren't in a zoo. Everyday you meet quite a few." This is even more true today in the Internet Age.

*SMACKS* SW. Although I've heard monkeys are easier to train than husbands. Maybe everyone just misunderstood the girl and this is what she actually saw. Or it could have been this.

Or this

"...the why is: who knows?"

She's a 14-year-old. Duh.

I used to live in Florissant. The city is full of baboons. Many have inhabited the area since the World's Fair and can be seen if you look carefully at closing time around the many watering holes strung along many of the major streets of the city.


"While that particular animal was not that one, there is in fact something out in the area," the statement read, in part."

..... and it could be driftwood. Or French driftwood.

And, somewhere, someone must have Prince Albert in a can.

Not falling for that Manilow thing, cindy.

*smacks cindy anyway*

Actually, there is something simian about him.

"Democracy is the art of running a circus from a monkey cage. -- H L Mencken

Siouxie! Jeff smacked me. Actually Mr. Bieber is Dave's favorite and now that he is writing a book there is no reason why he could not be part of the Rock Bottom Remainders except the rest of the Remainders may tie him up and throw him out of the bus window.

Just hop off the bus, Jus...

Yeah..that's my neighborhood. The police will come for a monkey, but let Muslims load truckloads of something out of their garage and they will call you back and say, "Well, YOU can always MOVE."

Now I know how to get their attention. Thanks.

The case will be referred to St. Louis County Family Court for review.

"We'll teach you not to make a monkey outa us, kid!"

*did not click on ANY of your linkies*

Smart decision, NSShyJan.

A monkey from Ringling Bros once escaped while the circus was playing the old Boston Garden. Nobody knew where it went, but for years there were reports of "a little man" or the Celtics' Leprechan stealing food from the vendors and such.


When they tore down the Garden, they found a wee monkey skeleton.

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