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August 20, 2010

A FLORIDA LICENSE IS ON THE WAY

Authorities said a western New York man whose license expired 33 years ago has been charged with driving while intoxicated after police said he drove a van 11 miles without one of its tires.

(Sent in by many people)

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An expired Florida license, right?

I believe he might be single, cindy.

Just sayin'.

boy you just knew what that mug shot was gonna look like before you ever clicked, didn't you?

just the usual drunk n stoopit. without a license for the last 33 yrs, he's had to stay in and drink, obviously.

Oooh! Siouxie! He's a keeper!

Sorry, but I gotta get technical about this. Most vehicles would not move with a drive wheel missing. The article says "van" and "rear wheel". Most vans (not mini-vans) are rear wheel drive, and would just sit there with the wheel-less side of the axle spinning the naked brake drum and gouging a hole in the pavement, and the side with the tire just sitting there.

This guy may be a mechanical genius.

Eleven miles without one of the wheels? That takes talent, but not, apparently, a valid license...

I hate when this happens.

Old Duane, he was drivin’ one day
When his tire came off on the way
11 miles he did go
Well above a 2.0
A Florida license he’ll now get today

You have to be able to drive at least 12 miles without a tire in Western New York to get your license renewed. Though clearly he passed the rosy nose and bad hair requirement.

Yeah, there are a lot of problems with that story.

1. How do you drive a rear wheel drive van with a tire missing?

2. He was arrested at home. Did anyone actually see him driving? How do they know it happened?

3. When did he consume the alcohol? Before or after he arrived home? It's still not a crime to get soused at home (but probably only til Obama gets around to outlawing).

There's reasonable doubt all over the place.

Thanks for thinking of me, Jeff. *SMACK*

Tires? We doan need no steekin' tires!

Pete Townshend has really let himself go.


P.S. Pogo, it says tire, not wheel. It may explain the discrepancy.

From the photo, it appears he was going downhill.

*SMACKS* BFF!

uh..no.

Maybe he was only riding on the two wheels on the good side? The mind boggles.

Drunk drag racing.

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