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July 21, 2010

THE OTHER TWO ARE PASSED OUT

One in three men 'frightened' by their partner's driving

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

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I drive good non of those things fit my driving.

Why is braking too hard listed twice? I'm not going to say anything else because I find the couch to be uncomfortable.

Well I would really like to say yes I agree with this article 100 percent. I would like to but it is way to hot to sleep in the garage this summer. I do have a hard time explaining to the love of my life why we have holes in the floor on the passenger side of the car and why the door handle has impressions of fingers stamped into the metal. But I won't say anything.......

(11) Driving down the road looking at the front seat passenger while talking. (12) Talking on cell phone, putting on nail polish, driving with feet on the steering wheel. (13) Right hand flailing at naughty kids in the back seat while car weaves all over the road.

All those things annoy me, too, when Mr. Coconuts is driving. I think it is a CONTROL, or lack thereof, issue.

(14) Drafting a tractor trailer from St. Louis to Atlanta.

*makes up cot in basement*

NMUA: I noticed that too. And where was "applying makeup" or "yakking on cellphone" on the list?

I will add that I have never once been made nervous by my wife's driving.

Oh, did I mention that she doesn't drive?

*ducks flying machete*

My wife displays a number of these characteristics. But she's never totaled a car.
I've taken out at least 5 cars. Three of those were mine and two were the other cars in the collision.
Actually, the worst thing she does is not listed. If I'm driving 70 on the Interstate and she thinks she sees a hazard, she will give a sudden, loud, high-pitched scream in my ear to alert me.

My kids were amazed when I let my wife drive the last leg of our trip into O'Hare Airport in Chicago. We were lucky enough that the delivery van we wound up on top of was going to the same terminal we were.

To be honest, that's considered fair play in Chicago traffic.

"Woman driver" jokes? Really? *looks at the calendar to see if it's gone back to 1960* Especially with the cell phone cracks? Easily 90% of the idiots I see doing idiotic things on the road are MEN. Especially if said idiotic thing is being done while talking on a cell phone.

My spouse grabs the "Jesus Handle" whenever I get too close to the car in front of me. You know, the handle above the passenger door? That's the one that, when you grab it, you say "Jesus!".

good points all, 1960 or not, true is true. here's some stats for you from my own personal marriage:

number of accidents my wife has caused: 6

number that i have caused: 0

number of traffic tickets i have received: 6

number of tickets my wife has received: 0 actually i think maybe one)

she gets pulled over, make no mistake. she just does not get tickets. has something to do with tears and ramparts i imagine.

My only ticket in the past 20 years that wasn't tossed out was for a minor equipment violation.

The muffler was dragging and sparks were flying. It took about two weeks before I was out-eluded by the local police. I didn't have a problem with tailgaters, though.

Complainers ride in the trunk.

Sorry, Funniegirl, you are absolutely correct, we shouldn't be doing jokes at all, especially on this blog. Your driving is perfect and we males suck at it. Now will you put down that machete and let me out of the basement?

I agree with NotSherly. I had to drive my dad home after he had knee replacement surgery. He gave me directions to his house. The same house I use to live in and he has lived in for over 30 years. At every stoplight if it was yellow and I went through it he complained I should have stopped. If it was yellow and I stopped he complained that I could have made it. I finally told him that if he didn't stop the people behind us were going to see a man on the side of the road shaking his walker at the green minivan that was leaving him.

My current wife is a TERRIBLE driver. She yaks on the phone and just doesn't pay enough attention to job no. 1 -- DRIVING.

On the other hand, she hates my driving because, yes, it IS a race damn it! Not to say I speed, but I do change lanes frequently (AFTER signaling every lane change) to get through traffic quicker. I also keep up a running commentary on how stupidly all the other drivers around me are driving. But, I focus only on driving and knowing who's around me at all times, so I can make those lane changes safely.

Accidents I've been in while driving: 2. (Rear-ended and t-boned.)

Accidents I've caused: 0.

Why is it a race bonmot? It's like men think if another man passes them it means something. Like maybe the other guy is saying his winkie is bigger than yours. Women do not think that way.


I think nc is on to something there.
We women are blessedly free from winkie comparisons.

I was going to mention that, NotS. Personally, I do NOT race, and I get a kick out of drivers like bonmot who think they are gaining ground by darting from lane to lane but usually end up about where they started. As long as they signal and allow enough room for their maneuvers, have a ball.

I do complain (quite a bit) about the deficiences of other drivers, of which there are many.

Honestly, though, I am a MUCH better driver than when I was younger just because I pay more attention to the road and other drivers. I watch the road up ahead and try and anticipate what other drivers will do. I check around me and the mirrors. My eyes are always moving.

And no, there are not more women on cellphones than men as far as I can tell.

What Jeff failed to mention was he was texting that comment while driving across the Brooklyn Bridge.

A few years ago, I (a woman) got in my car and immediately noticed my steering wheel has about 45 degrees off. Hit the brake and about went over a curb. Turned around and went home to ask "Umm, Honey, what happened to the car?" He said he'd hoped I wouldn't notice it before he had a chance to have it fixed. He had driven into a sidewalk of the building behind us...one that he had driven past at least twice a day for the previous two years. His excuse? It had snowed.

They all want to be Danica? Wish.

Jeff, I'd say my ratio of "got there way faster than anyone else" to "ended up about where I started" is about 60-40. Only half my commute is freeway; the other half is downtown. It's downtown where knowing how to use the curb lane can put me literally three light cycles ahead of the sheep.

At 60mph, driving 5 miles takes 5 minutes. At 40 mph, it takes 7.5 minutes. Why the hell do people drive like maniacs on two-lane roads to shave 2.5 minutes off a shopping trip?

And speaking of women drivers....

Make that 45 mph. My speedometer is off.

Math is hard.

I haven't had an accident in like FOREVER. And the couple that I had were minor fender benders (not admitting who was at fault since I never got a ticket).

I did, however, hit an old guy that:

#1 - was jaywalking(running) on a busy street, whilst it rained.

#2 - decided to sue me and lost.

This was when I lived in Pasadena and was a much younger and careful driver. Now, all bets are off! GET OFF MY LANE, DAMNIT!!

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