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June 24, 2010

IF YOU CAN MAKE IT THERE, YOU ARE OLD

AARP, the Magazine.

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Dave wrote a book?

Now that I know Dave's toxins are in hot mud someplace, I don't feel so bad about BP

smokin...

Dave, just because you did an interview with AARP doesn't mean that you are old. In fact you have a very young thinking mind. Once you start thinking old then maybe you are.

hot mudded
check it and see
i got such toxins burnin'
inside of me
hot mudded , it'll ruin my pants
cause i'm hot mudded, i'm hot mudded!

"The question is whether the federal government has ever shown any competence to do anything on a big scale other than get bigger. I don’t think it has!"

VERY perspicacious! Dave is not just another funny face!

Those bikes have cupholders for your beer, right, Dave?

I can just imagine what it was like when Judi brought this to His Blogness's attention.

"Boss, good news & bad news. The good news is, a magazine wants to interview you because your perspective is well-suited to their audience."

"What's the bad news?"

"WHICH magazine thinks your perspective is well-suited to their audience..."

Now, I first received a temporary AARP card before I was old enough to drank legally.

Secondly, what does it signify that one of the cookies that the page sets is forsee.alive ?

AARP hunted me down as soon as i turned 50.

She did that too, but that’s another story.
One which, I suspect, will never be written.

Hey, if I can get a discount a bit early I'll join. I have very little pride left anymore.

I'd be tempted to get up early and try spinning at home, except I fear that the cats would view my presence as play time.

AT&T? iPhone? Me? You'll sooner find a tramp stamp on the Queen.

I want to say one word to you. Just one word. Are you listening? Android.

Dang it, wrong thread. Damn these newfangled browsers with their multiple tabs.

I think I'll go buy reading glasses and join AARP three years early this afternoon...

Our family doc has replaced the television with some advertising screen that does nothing but play a repeating suite of Health Tips with Sanjay Gupta and the like. And it has drug commercials for adding viewing pleasure.

Little Known Fact: Dave Barry was a toy boy for Maggie Kuhn back in the day.

I'm glad you cleared that up, WriterDude. I thought Dave had a tramp stamp and I'd missed where he discussed it in the article. Dave, for the record, you don't look anywhere near 60 and as we all know you don't act it. Great article but I wouldn't get in a mud bath for anything.

It's like graduating from middle school to high school. Suddenly, you're the youngster in the crowd.

Ok, no, I lied. It sucks. Siouxie told me.

Last year my blog was noted as one of the "Top Ten Blogs for People Dating Over 50." I told them I haven't dated over 50 people in my entire life. 45, tops. Then they explained it was for old people. Award = good. Old = wha-what?

I was more upset with the spinning class than anything. Is your bike at least hooked up to a battery to generate energy for a defibrillator?

OK - am I the only one that read page two first, without realizing it was page two (because thats where the link goes)? Then I read page one and it made less sense.

Don't think of yourself as being old, Dave. Think of yourself as being one step closer to seeing all your friends in Heaven.


"Great article but I wouldn't get in a mud bath for anything."

(in hot tub, with champagne)

nursecindy:

ANY thing?

CoastRaven, no you aren't -- I did the same thing. Also, long time no see. Welcome back.

The link does indeed take you to the 2nd page. First page here.

*grabs champagne* I hope the water isn't too hot, mud. It's 97 degrees here.

Thanks for clearing that up, RtW-H.

AAIP - the American Association of Immature Persons - had Dave's number decades ago.

I like the idea of Jokeatarianism as a religion. I would really love it if it had a Humor Bible. Many years ago, I came upon a book title on the internet: "A Prostitute in the Family Tree". It was an examination of humor in the Bible, written by none other than Douglas Adams - only it was a different Douglas Adams, and it was hardly funny at all (Yes, I did read it).

My first AARP mailing came when I was 49-1/2. It amused me. I took it to church with me. A bunch of older friends recoiled when they saw it and realized they had known me since I was much, much younger and now it had come to this. Good for a cruel laugh.

Meanie - sounds like a book that waiting to be written. Then made into a Fox sit-com.

Nice to see a new article interviewing Dave. Almost like a mini-column.

Dave does not look 62!

Just spent the last two days reading Dave's book. By a weird coincidence, I read the colonoscopy piece WHILE I was prepping for my own. It was like a real time description of what I was going thru. Best and truest line was the one about his digestive system traveling to the future and processing food he hadn't eaten yet. But you know what really sucks? At almost 51, I look ten
years older than Dave does at 62. BTW... I passed the colonoscopy without so much as a polyp! Glad that's over!

A bit late, but I trust you all have heard that the best way to find bin Laden would be to tell AARP that he just turned 50?

I think it could actually work. Just follow the trail of free AARP cards to his lair.

padraig, that's the best idea I've heard in a long time. I am not looking forward to them finding me in a few years. Dave really doesn't look 62. I've always thought it was how you think and act that makes you look old. My dad is 75 and doesn't look a day over 60. He doesn't think he's old, doesn't act like it, and is very active. My favorite aunt in Georgia was the same way. One summer we went to the family home where she lived and couldn't find her. Then we heard a chain saw. She was up in a tree cutting branches. She was 80 years old and had climbed the tree. My dad almost had a stroke yelling at her and she couldn't understand what he was so upset about. She will always be my hero.

I've recieved TWO friggin' mailers from AARP in the past month, one with a card inside. Never came close to even opening the damned things and took a marker to write "WTF?" on the front. I'm nowhere near ready for that -- just last night I was chastised for drinking YooHoo straight from the carton: it seems that was a double-sophmoric infraction.

YooHoo is a great hangover cure.

A great prank is signing your friends up to receive mail from AARP.

*waves cane @ MS*

Figures you would be behind that, Annie. Don't mind the fruit-basket-of-the-month coming your way -- COD.

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