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May 19, 2010

REST EASY, PEOPLE OF SAN ANTONIO

Your food supply is safe.

(Thanks to Matt Filar and Patrick Groulx)

Comments

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How many calories are there in edible undies, anyway? Anyone? Siouxie??

Cool. I'm going to San Antonio this weekend.

Revenue enhancement?

Gotta have the nutrition labels, too, I'll bet.

So, what's the Minimum Daily Requirement for, um ... you know ....

I just got a wacky idea for the secret ingredient for the next episode of Iron Chef.

this was the lead story?

"in what was surely a dark day for America, a recall for edible undies, notably 'Fruit of the Womb' and "Taster's Choice" brands , has led to a to widespread panic among the country's kinkiest and broadest-minded.
The underwear is said to be laced with chemicals found in antifreeze, cat food and shoe polish, and can cause anything from debilitating tongue-numbness to pulsating scrotal lesions.
'When forced to eat a diet of nothing but these panties, we found that lab rats developed mange, whisker-rot , and a lack of interest in previous sexual partners.' said a scientist we found in an adult book store.
As hordes of kinksters and prom dates clog America's emergency rooms, please stay tuned for updates. "

*snorks* all around!

It's not something you sit down and actually eat. It's more for licking and tasting. Edible? No. It's not going to fill you up."

NOW they tell me.

Steve - They contain approximately 60 calories depending on the brand. Annie told me.

It's no problem if you heat them to 375 degrees for three minutes.

Yes, will that be dine-in or take out?
Seriously, when I was with the health department, we would have ignored this because we were so overworked in other areas. This would have been an inspect-if-we-get-a-complaint type of thing. It wouldn't surprise me if someone who was shocked by the idea got huffy.
As for the goods, I've always been much more interested in the present than in the box it came in, so to speak.

Snatch a snack!

Tastes like crap.

You are what you eat. Ewwwwwwwwww

Waiter! There's a .....

...Wait! There's a tit in my ashtray...

. . . then they are going to have the sugar and salt content surcharge, then Michele Obama will come in and claim the trans-fat threat demands another tax -- these damned panties are going to cost 68 damned dollars!

WAITER: Have you folks decided?

MAN: Yes, my date will have the rubbed breast of chicken with crotchless capers, and some melon on the side.

WAITER: Very good, and for you sir?

MAN: I believe I'll just be going to the desert bar and stick my junk in the chocolate fountain, thank you.

Chocolate covered bananer?

Or snack (on) a snatch.

"Sanitarian Services???"

I hear the thongs taste a bit yeasty.

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