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May 29, 2010

HOW GLAD ARE WE THAT WE'RE NOT IN SCHOOL ANY MORE?

Very glad.

(Thanks to Mr. Jeff Arch and Siouxie)

On the other hand, "Dangerous Groin Game" would be a good name for a rock band.

Comments

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Owww...

I blame Volkswagen.

My thoughts exactly, Phil. How BRILLIANT is this??

That's not a new game. We just didn't have a name for it when I was a kid. The steps were, if you were the tapper: 1) kick, 2) point and laugh or, if you were the tappee: 1) fall down, 2) roll around in pain, 3) wheeze and/or cry, 4) try to get up and hobble after your attacker while they laughed and stayed just out of range.

Also, wasn't it called Rochambeau on South Park?

Maybe it's an evolutionary game designed to remove potential rivals from the gene pool. Maybe they should call it gene-pool chlorination. (Also AGNFARB?)

I blame America's Funniest Home Videos. Then again, I blame America's Funniest Home Videos for low SAT scores, rush hour traffic and global warming...

So, I guess this is not what's meant when a guy says, "I'd tap that." Right?

nip it. nip it in the bud.

Scott, that's "vaginal tap" (also a GNFARB)

Heh, heh. Judi said bud.

If a friend of mine did this I'd definitely consider ending our bromance.

Ah! Right, Siouxie. So I should be scared only if a woman says that to me, right? (Especially if she's holding a machete.)

I blame Volkswagen.

Posted by: Cheesewiz | May 29, 2010 at 09:58 AM

Exactly! My first thought too.

Chicken of the Groin would NOT be a good name for a brand of tuna, however.

nip it. nip it in the bud.

Posted by: judi the prig | May 29, 2010 at 10:11 AM

Right, Barney.

Si, Scott ;P

If you'll excuse me, I have to go invest in "cups"...

Quote of the Day:
"Guys are very attached to their testicles, obviously."

It works on so many levels.

Till they get married ;P

But it's always so funny when it happens to Adam Sandler.

Quote of the Day:
"Guys are very attached to their testicles, obviously."

Of course, after they are married, that changes.

"Guys are very attached to their testicles, obviously."

One would hope, anyway.

Make that two, in fact.

i admit it, i started this...

son: can i get a tattoo, or a piercing?

me: no! in my day, we didn't have fancy tattoo parlors with their semi-sterilized needles! if we wanted to feel something we would just take a two-by-four to each others' junk until we passed out!

son: gee, thanks dad!

and that was the one time he listened to me!

What is the capital of Thailand?
Bangkok...
Couldn't resist

"But where does dominance "play" leave off, and violence begin? "

duh, when your safe word isn't honored.
or so i've heard.

Isn't this how Dave, Tom and Gene always greet one another at the Potomac Hunt?

Yet another thing you won't hear about girls doing to each other. Men.

(think 'journey')

just a stupid kid
saw too many youtube vids
thought he'd hit his friends
right in the groin

new , short, kind of a nerd
got tapped too hard;
can't say a word
but the pain doesn't end: it goes
on and on and on and on...

e.r
docs will
try to save his
ruptured 'nads
so some day
he gets a wedding night
jackass
stunts spread
all throughout the land's
schoolyards
as fast as the speed of light!

across the country's locker rooms
smell of hormones, axe 'perfume'
doing anything to fit right in
like the other guys...

some taps get
some taps give
some are just too dumb to live!
but their highjinks never end; they just
go on and on and on and on...

don't stop your breathin'
you're glad you've lost feelin'
someday you'll use them for fun!

don't stop your breathing!

This expression of ... whutever ... used to be called "Crumping" ... but the protocol wuz to scare the victim into flinching WITHOUT actual contact ... (there's a hilarious description in an old novel, as the young hero describes this activity in the Confessional ... )

How times have changed ... now it's a question of how much actual damage can be done without bein' fatal ... where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?

*Cross-legged SNORK!@ insom*

Dangerous Groin Games ~
are going around, Smegs.
Sundering -- Ream-a-go-go!
Surgeons are going mad.

The worst part is having to put up with anagrams of your situation.

*SNORK* @ insom!

A "friend" did this to me once in the library. Just a light tap but it had the desired effect.
A few minutes later, after I had recovered, I found that friend bending over to pick up something he had dropped.
I kicked a field goal and we gained the notice of the Librarian.

"You can't touch this..." Song and lyrics by
MC Hammer, when he doesn't wanna be "tagged."

"It's Hammartime!!!" -MC Hammer, when he's doing the
"tagging".

Can you have it both ways, MC?

(Never knew what those songs meant till now!!!)

Tapped Owwwwwwt?

How many of us remember getting "tapped" by the line drive we failed to see while playing baseball as a youth?

They say we don't remember pain? They lie!

Picture a gym rugby game with a lad, Player A, on his back on the ground, and an opponent, Player B, getting knocked toward him and about to fall straight on top of him. Player A reflexively raises his legs and prevents Player B's fall. Guess, however, what part of Player B's body was the point by which Player A's feet held Player B momentarily in the air.

Uh-huh.

... um ... MtB ... "B" as in ... "Blue" ? ? ?

OT

Woo hoo! Roy Halladay just pitched a no-hitter against the Marlins!

Even The Tarp was cheering for him.

/OT

I hope the tarp looked nice, Horace. Guys are such big babies. I don't understand how a little tap can bring such pain. Sometimes I think y'all carry on just for attention.

ncindy, I understand from a long-ago acquaintance of the female variety that a tap on the analogous tissue of the feminine persuasion (albeit harder to accomplish because it's better protected) can cause significant discomfort that may be similarly excruciating.

When Jane initially met Tarzan in the jungle, she was attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex?

'Tarzan not know sex' he replied.

Jane explained to him what sex was.

Tarzan said 'Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree.'

Horrified Jane said, 'Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly.'

She took off her clothing and laid down on the ground.

'Here' she said, pointing to her privates, 'you must put it in here.'

Tarzan removed his loin cloth, showing Jane his considerable manhood, stepped closer to her and kicked her in the crotch!

Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity.

Eventually she managed to grasp for air and screamed 'What did you do that for?'

Tarzan replied, 'Check for squirrel.'

Love the joke Ralph! I needed a good laugh tonight. Thanks.

*snork* at Ralph's Tarzan joke

Yucks for Ralphie.

Yes, OtU. My voice jumps three octaves every time I think about it.

*Me Snork Ralph*

I can well understand (and sympathize), MtB ...

Africa's got squirrels?

Hu gnu?

(but that's FUNNY!)

I am very happy to read your articles, more useful for me especially
I have the same thing with you. I am so very petrified of this in my lectures.
Cell Phone
thanks info.

*Taps Cell Phone on the cojones*

oh and *OUCHIESNORK* @ Tarzan

Sometimes I get a dangerously gamy groin.

Side note: Watched the 500 ceremonies. Jewell sang the anthem. Reminded me of her singing it at the 2001 World Series just after 9/11. She was followed by a 21 gun salute and Taps. Serious ocular leakage.

As far as a "Rochambette" goes, yes, a fall on a balance beam will do a gal in. Or a nasty hook in field hockey. I've never seen a woman take the time to stop and roll around on the ground though. Guess we have too much to do. ;p

Field hockey's got hookers?

Hu gnu?

Can any guy on this blog tell me why mens/boys bikes have that bar on them? Seems like an accident waiting to happen.

Coincidentally, the subject for today on the Straight Dope web page talks about why this hurts so much and why men's parts dangle so dangerously.
http://www.straightdope.com/

n'cindy ... the "crossbar" is to make the frame more rigid and sturdy ... but really, it's so that guys can give rides to gals ... this refers, of course, to a time when the guy is either too young for a driver's license and can't get the car ... or else he lost his license due to some misunderstanding about beer and driving and hangin' out with evil companions ...

at least that's how I heard the story told ... yeah ... I heard that sumplace ...

Wouldn't that explain why Lance Armstrong wins so much? He's also a bit more aerodynamic below decks, IYKWIM.

Man, when I was in college I only had to worry about the chicks giving me blue balls.

"Can any guy on this blog tell me why mens/boys bikes have that bar on them?"

So they don't look like a girly bike.

When bicycles were originally invented. there was no such thing as a girl's bicycle. They all had a bar for strength. Women at that time wore dresses. Since you can't ride a bicycle side saddle. someone came up withn a bike without the bar so women could ride in their dresses.

Those bars hurt. That is all.

Happy Memorial day, guys and gals!! Make it a fun and safe one. Once again, my sincere gratitude to those who served and those who are currently serving our country. God Bless you and your families.

FIRE UP THE GRILL!

What Siouxie said.
And grill, baby, grill.

NotSherly, if I go out and grill today I will drown! We are having buckets of rain and I was awakened this morning by a crash of thunder and my very large lab trying to climb into bed with me. She is petrified of storms. Thanks for the answers about the bicycle. I've always wondered and just assumed they were designed by women.

Properly fitted, the top bar on a men's street bike (mountain bikes are different)should be just below that critical area when standing flat-footed over it. That said, in emergency situations, there's usually enough flex in your knees when you hop off the seat rapidly to use up that much distance and a little bit more!

QUITE a bit more, Scott ... merely sayin' ...

O the U, speaking from experience are you?

Oh ... um ... well, I'm nuthin' if not VERY experienced in so many ways ... learnt a lot about Life Its Ownself ...

to cite Billy Joel ... the things I did not know at first, I learned by doin' twice ...

But it's the THIRD (and all the ones after that) time hittin' the crossbar that REALLY drives the lesson home ... merely sayin' ...

Wrack and ruin.

OT

As another hurricane season starts, I FINALLY got around to firing up the generator, which has laid idle (thankfully), since Ike. I can't tell you how chuffed I was that it started right up!

/OT

Chuffed must be a Texas word. They probably say it while eating their beef bbq.

We use it (rarely) up here also, n'cindy ... but I've never seen/heard it in quite that connotative ... um ... relationship ...

hm. we used to throw balls at each other's balls. tennis balls, baseballs, footballs, whatever. the idea was to catch the victim unaware, so that he would reflexively bend over double, and act called "taking a bow". the act of throwing the ball was called "pressing the 'tab' key. (t.a.b. standing for "take a bow".)

oh. we were in our thirties.

i never said we were intelligent. or mature.

"A search on YouTube reveals hundreds of videos of young boys, teens, and even members of the U.S. Navy, catching a friend (or enemy) unaware with a quick punch or slap to the genitals."

You'd think Seaman (pronounced semen old USMC joke I know but couldn't resist) would know better than do that to the testicles!

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