Here is where we stand:
Jack, having for various solid reasons killed or wounded two-thirds of the population of Manhattan, is now hunting Russian President Suvarov and also leaking about a quart of blood every 15 minutes. Jack is in turn being pursued by CTU under the command of Pillar, the henchperson of ex-President Dirtbag, who was captured by Jack last week and revealed, under interrogation, that he had pooped his drawers. Meanwhile the FBI took the Secret Video away from Meredith and has been ordered to give it to President Woman President, who is suffering from pangs of either conscience or intestinal flu; there is no way to tell which.
Tonight's two-hour special is the final episode, ending eight years of Jack Bauer's courageous efforts to find some way, against impossible odds, not to laugh out loud at the plot. It is a journey we have all taken together; a journey that has given us much to think about. We can honestly say that it has been an unmitigated pleasure, except when it sucked. Thanks to all of you for participating on this blog. And thanks especially to The Amazing Steve for his wonderful summaries. We don't know why you do it, T.A.S., but we
strongly suspect drugs are very grateful.
And now it's time for our final scientific poll:
UPDATE: Jack said he's eternally grateful. So maybe he's DEAD.
UPDATE: When two guys are aiming guns at each other and engaging in dialog, I always think, "If I were one of those guys, I would pull the trigger, before the other guy does." Does that make me a bad person? Never mind.
UPDATE: Nice product placement of the rearview-camera feature.
UPDATE: But we WANT to see Jack take Pillar apart piece by piece.
UPDATE: Jack has the power of Backseat Invisibility.
UPDATE: Jack Bauer does not need blood.
UPDATE: Or anesthetic.
UPDATE: "I am judge and jury. Now STEP BACK."
UPDATE: Here's the thing: Middle East peace treaties NEVER work anyway.
UPDATE: Whoa! President Woman President is insane! This is good!
UPDATE: Jack has one of those instant-on PCs that don't actually exist.
UPDATE: Somehow, Jack got inside the perimeter.
UPDATE: Nice to see Chloe with a gun again.
UPDATE: Jack choking Chloe! Hot.
UPDATE: Jack has a very large gun.
UPDATE: One hour down. Not a whole lot happened.
UPDATE: "The pipple of Russia."
UPDATE: So far today Jack has been stabbed twice and (I think) shot twice. At this rate he is eventually going to need medical attention.
UPDATE: I miss the rods.
UPDATE: Well, THIS is a neat and tidy ending.
UPDATE: Aw. Jack and Chloe.
UPDATE: So in conclusion: The Peace Process was NOT a big deal after all! So this season was about... what? Never mind. We had our little fun, didn't we? Take it away one last time, The Amazing Steve.