24

Here is where we stand:

At the end of last week Jack finally caught up with Dana and -- while experiencing conflicting emotions including sorrow, remorse, anguish and a deep sense of unease caused by not going to the bathroom in nearly eight years -- shot her fatally at close range several times. (He also shot a NYPD officer in the foot, but he apologized.) Now Jack has the Secret Video That Could Change Everything and is on the run in full Rogue Mode, seeking justice and revenge while being pursued by the Russians, CTU and all branches of American law enforcement including the Coast Guard.

Edgar is still dead. I envy him,  because I'm still on book tour, currently on the West Coast. This means I will once again be unable to join you, although you all seem to do fine down there in the comments section. As always we will rely on The Amazing Steve to give us his analysis afterward. Meanwhile, here's a scientific poll:

Were you surprised when Jack shot Dana?
	No. He's JACK BAUER, for God's sake.
	Yes, because revenge is wrong, plus she was looking hot from the waterboarding.
	I thought he was going to kill her just by glaring hard.
	I hope he also shoots ex-president Handbag.
	Montpelier.
pollcode.com free polls

Comments

[homeybeef]

I still see no need for Arlo to be around this season.

[funnyman]

"we're public now"...Handrag says.

By the way, Jason, I'm feeding this to NPR right now,
so if we hang, we hang together...Keep me posted...

(one could only wish)

[Gennita Low]

Y'all noticed Jack's Sack (TM) has grown twice its size?

[tw]

There's always a dark warehouse when Jack needs one!

[Senex]

I also have confidence this latest perimeter will work.

[Cassie]

Jack got a bazooka on his back?

[Jeff Meyerson]

Love all the trees on the streets of midtown Manhattan (sic).

[Diva]

And abandoned, t-dub. Don't forget it's an abandoned warehouse.

[Kate]

We can only hope, Cassie.

[MartiniShark]

Quiet, or Jack's friend will carve your ear off!

[Jeff Meyerson]

*drinks*

[nursecindy]

Jack must have picked up a new sack at the Macy's One Day Blow Out Sale they just had.

[Cheesewiz]

it's the big league baby stop whining.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

"I could have been killed back there!"

She don't know Jack!

[Jeff Meyerson]

"You cannot do this!"

Yeah, he can. And will.

[Twoina]

Jack is omniscient (or however that's speeled).

[Greg]

Dude you killed Renee

[homeybeef]

This scene better make up for the whole season

[Jeff Meyerson]

"Go to hell."

"You first, dude."

[LeDud]

This torture scene won't be violent will it ?

[MartiniShark]

WhipLash had better Russian tattoos.

[Gennita Low]

Oh Jack is getting some good lines now that he is Jackinator!

[homeybeef]

Those intense 3 minutes they were talking about? Yeah that's happening during this commercial break.

[Cassie]

"Go to hell."

"Been there already."

[danceswithvowels]

So what did the bad guy do when he "dropped" the phone? Some kind of time bomb?

[Cassie]

I want Nina or Mandy the assassin to show up.

[danceswithvowels]

'Zackly, Cassie. And only about 3 hours ago.

[Gennita Low]

Waterboarding! Battery burns! Punching! I can't wait!

[Jeff Meyerson]

Please tell me Jack's going to squeeze Logan's head until his eyeballs pop.

[Greg]

I forget, what injuries does Jack have at this time?

[Loudmouth]

Wherever they copied that line from at least it fits.

[The Dead Henchman]

The following scene will not please the commandant of West Point.

[jtd7]

She Who Must Be Obeyed wants to know who would win a fight between Jack Bauer and the Smoke Monster.

[Twoina]

There's a commercial break every five minute. It's more like 22 after the commercials are factored out.

[Cassie]

dances, I'm thinking he opened up a cyanide container. Better to die than get tortured by Jack.

[Gennita Low]

"Go to hell."

"In it already."

[danceswithvowels]

None, Greg. Holes in his abdomen slink off in shame in only a few hours.

[Greg]

I know Renee stabbed Jack a few hours before he slept with her.

[LeDud]

How is that boy kicking a ball going to get pregnent. The drinks are affecting my biology understanding......

[MartiniShark]

Can we have a Presidential order stopping all talking-baby commercials?

[Jeff Meyerson]

I'm with Diva - I miss Marwan.

You know it's sad when the only one you can turn to for help is Arlo, who has to take time out from harassing women.

[tw]

I think we've seen ever car currently on the market advertised on 24 at some point this season!

[KJP]

It's the Cow Defense alarm!

[Senex]

I think the Russian guy should ask to speak with his lawyer before talking to Jack anymore.

[Gennita Low]

Dances, that's a Sekrit GPS signal to find him!

[homeybeef]

I know Renee stabbed Jack a few hours before he slept with her.

Posted by: Greg | May 10, 2010 at 09:48 PM

Read more: http://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/2010/05/24-1/comments/page/4/#comments#ixzz0na6tML8h

foreplay

[Diva]

She Who Must Be Obeyed wants to know who would win a fight between Jack Bauer and the Smoke Monster.

Ditka. Jack Bauer.

[Yelwrose]

Database of Jack's associates = Facebook

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Oooh, an extra warning! Woohoo! BRING ON THE VIOLENCE!

[Gennita Low]

She should have brought her new Ipad.

[Jeff Meyerson]

How long do you think Pavel can hold out?

[nursecindy]

Why is Jack whispering?

[Cassie]

Pavel, that's for not finding the nuclear wessels.

[Greg]

ribs anyone?

[homeybeef]

Why does Jack sound like Batman?

[Gennita Low]

Did he pull out his nipples with his pliers?

[LeDud]

What we have here is a FAILURE to communicate....

[danceswithvowels]

Jack, remove the tattoos with the pliers!

[Twoina]

Sniper guy ain't too bright. I guess he likes to scream.

[tw]

Step aside, there's nothing to see here. Please step aside!

[Cheesewiz]

Sometimes waterboarding is the humane alternative.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Boy, I'm not going to go shopping at Turners if they can't clean up their aisles after a mess like this...

[Jeff Meyerson]

A CTU crime scene? This whole SEASON is a CTU crime scene.

[Cassie]

"Let the bodies hit the floor."

Jack's song.

[Kate]

Like Jack would be hanging around the store.

[Siouxie]

*zaps in*

I think he should use the pliers on the testicules*

*zaps out*

[Gennita Low]

Wow, those mannequins look real.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Looking good, Pavel!

[MartiniShark]

"My name is Pillar, I'm from Macy's corporate, and also Toys-R-Us regional offices! This is my crime scene!"

[Gennita Low]

I don't think he can heal as fast as Jack.

[Kate]

Uh oh, he spat on Jack.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Unfortunately, Jack doesn't know spit...

[nursecindy]

I was thinking the same thing, Siouxie. I guess even Jack draws the line somewhere.

[Diva]

What the heck is Jack doing??

[KJP]

He just shows him the next thing and the guy starts screaming!

[tw]

TORCH!

[Jeff Meyerson]

Blow torch!

[Twoina]

Let's hear it for bloody torture!

[danceswithvowels]

Ow. Ow. Ow.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Time to cauterize the wound...

[Cassie]

X-Files music

[Gennita Low]

Wow, Jack made his belly button bigger.

[Kate]

"You people are so stupid."

Yah.

[rockin01]

Jack just loves the smell of burning flesh in the morning...

[nursecindy]

Great Balls Of Fire?

[homeybeef]

Diva, this is well past the point of "heck"

[Jeff Meyerson]

Pavel's fathering days are over.

[Diva]

I wanna see the flesh burn!

[funnyman]

The torch scene...wow! this is the three minutes where
Jack gives the Russian a very warm (hot) feeling...

[tw]

The Sprint phone....of course!

[Siouxie]

WTFRUSSIANBBQ??

[Gennita Low]

Cut his thumb off! For Renee!

[MartiniShark]

He'll need some Fabreeze or a car air feshener with all that smoking vodka-soaked skin.

[Twoina]

Barbque ribs!

[Kate]

Uh oh, he swallowed it.

[Jeff Meyerson]

I want that SIM card and I want it now!

[danceswithvowels]

Uh oh. Surgery time!

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Time for emergency surgery!

[Loudmouth]

Time for surgery.

Bauer channels House.

[Diva]

Paging Dr. Bauer to the OR, STAT!