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May 10, 2010

24

Here is where we stand:

At the end of last week Jack finally caught up with Dana and -- while experiencing conflicting emotions including sorrow, remorse, anguish and a deep sense of unease caused by not going to the bathroom in nearly eight years -- shot her fatally at close range several times. (He also shot a NYPD officer in the foot, but he apologized.) Now Jack has the Secret Video That Could Change Everything and is on the run in full Rogue Mode, seeking justice and revenge while being pursued by the Russians, CTU and all branches of American law enforcement including the Coast Guard.

Edgar is still dead. I envy him,  because I'm still on book tour, currently on the West Coast. This means I will once again be unable to join you, although you all seem to do fine down there in the comments section. As always we will rely on The Amazing Steve to give us his analysis afterward. Meanwhile, here's a scientific poll:

Were you surprised when Jack shot Dana?
No. He's JACK BAUER, for God's sake.
Yes, because revenge is wrong, plus she was looking hot from the waterboarding.
I thought he was going to kill her just by glaring hard.
I hope he also shoots ex-president Handbag.
Montpelier.
  
pollcode.com free polls

Comments

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Second

473rd from last!

Let's hope we get some thigh shots tonight. It's been a long, dry period and toe shots just don't cut it.

*snork* @ "Dana" link.

Thankfully the class I teach at the community college has ended and I can watch 24 live for the last few weeks. Can I tell you that most of the students this semester were about as smart as the knuckleheads from Division.

I'm here to announce I won't be here either. I have a dinner date featuring beer and one butt ugly catfish that was left high and dry on 2nd Avenue North when the Cumberland River finally retreated to it's pre-flood level.

Enjoy the show!

Here I yam! Let's get this thing up to 600 comments tonight.

Catfish roadkill?? That's good eatin'.

What happened? A real picture of Edgar?

Hi everyone!
I wonder if they smell something funny at CTU. Dead body not found yet. LOL

It's ok everyone, I'm here. No need to worry.

The number of comments is purely related to the amount of mayhem. Should be about 14 if they go on about the peace procezzzzzz.

'Going dark' tonight.....Your mission, (amazing)Steve, should you decide to accept it, is to make sense of the non-sensical ......... As usual, should you or any member of your I.M. Forced-2-Watch-This be captured or killed, the secretary will disavow any knowledge of your existence. This tape will self-destruct in five seconds. Good luck, Steve...'

Off topic:
Christopher Llyod On Chuck tonite!

On-topic:

Chloe and her tazer! We need more!!!

Meanwhile, Hastings has a new career: he's the new night manager at the Queens Mcdonalds, which incidentally will be where Jack is heading!

T-minue 8 (minutes and counting)....

Won't be joining you because "The Graduate" just got home. I am recording it for future viewing. Have fun and carry on!

Mission accepted!

See you about an hour after the show with my summary!

The promo says tonight's ep will feature the most intense 3 minutes in TV history- what, Jack's gonna have sex again this soon after Freckles?

Hey, look, House is getting ready to watch 24

House warming? Not in this lifetime.

New Castle tonight.

BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
Don't point that finger at me unless you intend to use it.
BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
I'm trying to clear up my ears! Fmuh! Fmuh! You create a pressure inside your head, HMAHHH! Opens up the Eustachian tubes. HMAHH! HMAAHH! HMAH-huh! FMAAAAAHHH!

BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
Well, maybe they were vitamins! He could be the healthiest one in the room!
BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
I'm a neurotic nut, but you're crazy!

*Petula Clark's "Downtown" begins playing*

Now Jack's alone
'cos his Freckles was shot only
He's yelling at you,
"GET DOWN!"

When you are shot at
And the noise and the combat
Makes you yelp,
You should GET DOWN!

Be careful when you visit
CTU while being witty,
watching out for bombers
Sending EMPs with no pity.

What can go wrong?
Bosses are much brighter there.
You can forget the terrorists.
Oh crap what's that there?!

Hey you, GET DOWN!
Things'll be fine...
If you'd GET DOWN!
No safer place for sure...
GET DOWN!
Someone's aiming at you...
(GET DOWN!)
(GET DOWN!)

Don't stick around
To let plotters circle you.
There are otters, too.
GET DOWN!

Hey, do you know
The evil places they go,
Where all those nuke rods glow?
GET DOWN!

Just listen to Jack Bauer
He'll show you what's going wronga.
You'll be shooting with 'im too
Or else your life is over.

No not again...
Your fate is much safer where
You get behind lots of Kevlar,
Entering their lair...

Keep your HEAD DOWN!
Their laser sights are tight!
GET DOWN!
Quick, take aim at your right!
GET DOWN!
You're gonna get your head shot!
(GET DOWN!)
(GET DOWN!)
(GET DOWN!)

(GET DOWN!)

(GET DOWN!)

Jack'll find someone who's guilty
Of helping killing Freckles.
Someone you wouldn't heckle
But you'd shoot in the temple
To push them along.
Or maybe Jack'll beat you
So you can forget all your nightmares,
Forget all your fears...

So just GET DOWN!
Things'll go great if you'd...
STAY DOWN!
Don't stand a second more...
GET DOWN!
No one's waiting for you...
(GET DOWN!)
(STAY DOWN!)
(GET DOWN!)
(STAY DOWN!)
(GET DOWN!)
(STAY DOWN!)
(GET DOWN!)
(STAY DOWN!)

JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BOWAH POWAH OWAH!
J A C K B A U E R P O W E R H O U R !

Brought to you by: JackSack™ ("JackSack™'s ready to get down...by shooting a terrorist or seven...") and ChloeSack™ ("ChloeSack™ doesn't know what to make of JackSack™ anymore...")

LET'S GET READY TO ROOOOOOOOOOOOOMBLE!

This season's "24" intros are brought to you in memory of my dear friend Michael "Sparky" Bushaw, who passed away the day after this past Christmas. Sparky, my fraternity big brother, best man at my wedding and best friend for the last 20 years, was the one person with whom I watched "24" when it originally premiered on Fox. Always a fan of the show, I believe it fitting to dedicate this season in his memory. Rest in peace, brother...I miss you!

24 time. G'night folks!

OK - let's get this crap on the road.

Handbag won't you die too?

Hey, y'all. Dana's still dead!

the rods?

They just had to show Renee dying again?

Do you have any idea of just how moronic this year's plot is?

She sends her daughter to prison but she's basically turned the "peace process" and the government and CTU over to disgraced (for good reason) ex-President Handbag!

So that showdown between Jack and Dana actually took place at High Noon. Nice touch.

Very satisfying to see Dana get it again.

Woah woah woah! Jack shot her 30 seconds ago!

So is Jack going on a rampage tonight? I want to see Jack-terminator!

//Hi everyone!

Dana looks better dead than alive.

Dana used the crotch cam!

More bad Russian accents.

*drinks*

Hi Gennita!

I personally hope there is a slim chance the President might finally discuss the long-forgotten peace process tonight.

I get it, finally!

Jack skimped on the bluetooth headset to get the iPhone! He was saving his money!

Put it on Youtube, Jack! It'll go viral!

This guy sounds more like Peter Lorre than a Russian.

The Russsian shooter on the video ...sounds like he is doing a bad impression of Peter Lorre!

Just goes to show where Michael Madsen's movie career has gone.

Oh no....no ID necessary.

Bauer killed her 3 minutes ago, but all the world now knows it.

Michael Madsen is looking something beginning to approach sobriety.

I already IDed, er, ODed her. Lead poisoning, got it?

They let Handbag's slimy assistant run CTU.

funnyman, GMTA!

Jeff and funny - that was just too weird.

"Dana is the reason banks have their pens on security chains!"

Wow...someone drank the non-CTU koolaid...

Why is Chloe telling smarmy guy?

My name is Arlo. And I don't approve any messages.

Just the whole backstory for those who haven't been watching.

Hi Cassie!

Oh, now Weasle is going to do his work. Chloe should wear a dinner dress.

Jack disappear? That can't happen.

Andy, that's my favorite parody in 24 history. :)

I do like the youtube idea. It could be like John Goodman on TREME - "F#CK you, you f#King f#%ks."

With Renee dead, there's only one woman who can calm Jack down....is it time for Audrey to return???

A guy in a bowling shirt running computers in a basement is not likely to be swayed with sentiment and romance. Try a new WoW character for him to have.

Chloe would know where he was.

Is this the Russian who shot Renee?

*waves @ everybody!!*

Do not say Audrey... she's better off insane.

who is this guy in the trailer with video cameras and
monitors everywhere?

CIA or Mossad or mafia "tech guy"?

And how does Jack know him?

He can supply weapons with ten minutes notice.
Must be connected to the Bushies. (No offense).

shut your god damn mouth, tw.

Hassan's girlfriend is back after 22 hours? WTF?

Hi Diva! Have a drink on me :-).

"Let me know if there's ANYTHING you need..."

She can't possibly work for a legitimate journalistic endeavor...

President Sham's mistress is back.

*SMACKS tw* NEVER SAY THAT NAME!!

Turner's Department Store?

Turner's? WTFBBQ?!!

Sharkie, maybe after the peace process talks, President Woman can move to green jobs?

Of course I'll help you!

Okay, okay. :o) Geez....next thing you know, I'll get flamed for wondering if they're EVER going to tie up all those Chinese subplots before the series ends!

How come Jack can't send the reporter the video by e-mail the same way he did the other guy?

Cole, Break his face.

They need some decor in the interogation room. Is that the room with the dead guy ?

We're on the same side? I don't think so, dude.

Playing "Metal Gear Solid" at the frat house does not make you a soldier.

*ducktapes t-dub's mouth and tosses him in the closet*

Too much talking not enough shooting. Dammit.

Playing with you, Pillar, is some of the most fun I've had all day. Easiest, too!

;) to Diva

Chloe's a big freaking help.

FP jr. doesn't have a lot of lines. He needs to take lessons from Chloe on facial expressions.

Genn, I'll make it a diet soda, thanks. ;-)

And now, after the break, WILL ARLO DO THE RIGHT THING...to get him laid?

Is Arlo going to be useful for the first time ever soon?

C'mon Arlo. Grooooooooow a pair for us!

Le-Dud, do not be cleverer than the writerS!!!

Stepping on Chloe's authority will come with a price,
Jason-guy!!! She might even tazer you! And we know she will help Jack or at least "look the other way" in the coming confrontation!!!

Careful, tw, or I'll toss Hammie's sheep in with you. ;-)

Mole administrators would be so much more effective if they were just a little less overbearing.

When do the people arriving at CTU start noticing the funky smell coming from behind the wall in the waiting room?

Aw, Diva, here's some Diet Beer :-). Sugarfree!

The A-Team remake... please tell me how he can be a better BA than Mr. T?

Who will put a bullet in Pillar's head? Chloe? Cole? Jack?

Maybe there will be a zombie attack, Shark? That's the three minutes they're so excited about?

Right now Pillar's on the same side ... of the turf. With any luck, Jack can introduce him to the dark side.

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