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May 26, 2010

RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES

Whiteman began to tell the deputies that the two of them were in trouble because they didn’t know he was actually a 100-year-old vampire and could smell their blood from the back seat of the patrol car.


(Thanks to akubbs)

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Also from Glee last night.

I believe he's single and available, cindy.

NMUA: That's what I was going to say!


"He recently came to the area to apply for fall classes at Oberlin College"

yes, this will look good on his application.

The blood he smelled was actually from the previous vampire they had back there.

found staggering outside a Drug Mart

Well, there's your problem right there.

...they noticed he was extremely intoxicated and had slurred speech and bloodshot eyes, the report said.

He recently came to the area to apply for fall classes at Oberlin College, according to the report.

You'd expect that sort of behavior from a senior, but not a freshman. He clearly deserves advanced placement.

He was charged with "disorderly conduct while being voluntarily intoxicated." It is a lesser charge if you're involuntarily intoxicated?

He also was charged with "intimidation". Intimidation? Really? Look at 'im!

Real vampires never get caught...

^'Snozzled', yes, but Never CAUGHT, Dammit!

My hometown. I'm so proud. *wipes away tear*

If they hadn't canceled "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" this would have never happened. Buffy, please come back and stake this guy, quick!

Dude looks more like Renfield...A-Heh, A-Heh, A-Heh.

At least he wasn't repeating high school.

riiiight... dumbo

No thanks Jeff. I faint at the sight of blood which makes doing my job difficult at times.

That ain't no vampire. He's barely a bat. sheesh.

I have an idea: Dave should write a vampire parody.

Buffy, spike the sparklies please! What? He didn't sparkle? Awww...Toooo Baddddd...

from the comments section:

"They should have tazered him on camera and then ordered him to act out all 3 of those crappy Twilight movies while hopping on one leg."

-snork!

"bloodshot eyes". Well, I shouldn't wonder. What else would a vampire have?

The photo has a link that says "click to enlarge". I wonder why anyone would want or need to do that?

Batty is right.

He also told a female corrections officer at the jail that he wanted to eat her kidney
Isn't that how Jeffery Daumer got his start?

Whiteman was later released
Good idea.

Of course vampires sparkle. It depends on how much white phosphorous you use on them...

*evil grin*

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