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April 13, 2010


A suicidal man connected to a Samaritans-style helpline in Sweden was left pondering his options when the priest at the other end fell asleep and started snoring down the line.

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)


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Well, on the up side, the guy was so indignant at the priest falling asleep he snapped out of his suicidal funk.

See?? he's been saved!!


"Take 2 cyanide capsules and call back in the morning."

The other day, I was really really depressed, so I called the suicide hotline. I was put through to a call center in Pakistan.

When I told them I was thinking of killing myself, they got real excited and asked if I knew how to drive a truck . . .

Gød is trying to tell him sømething.

I think it would depend on what you're telling the Priest or Minister on the line. If it's something like; "Then in 3rd grade this guy stole my lunch money and that made me depressed, and then in 4th grade somebody gave me a wedgie, and that made me depressed....etc." I could understand how that would put you to sleep. Depressed people are not fun to listen to for hours on end. I've been on the listening end and as hard as you try sometimes your mind does wander. *hangs head in shame*

A møøse distracted the priest.

The person responsible for the previous line has been fired.

The guy got off easy. What if he had called a sex chat line?

... or the " Dial a Psychotic Murderer " number.

The gunshot always wakes them up fast.

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