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April 13, 2010

THEY WON'T GET FAR WITHOUT GRAZING

TWO escaped convicts have dodged a huge manhunt - by disguising themselves as SHEEP.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Bill Hudgins)

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baaad convicts. baaaad.

As long as they don't get tasered while on meth, they're OK.

Dang it, Hammie!! You stoled my thought!!!

*WAVES*

It worked for Odysseus.

Lambs on the lam...

you 'avent got mice, you've got ..........sheep

The cops should walk around with jars of mint jelly. the real sheep will scatter.

"He's that most dangerous of creatures, a clever sheep."

*Waves @ Siouxie!!!*

Police say spotting the pair among thousands of sheep is "almost impossible". But one warned: "They can't pull the wool over our eyes forever."

To which thet say, baaaaaaaaaaaa!

for everything, there is a python bit....

Ratcatcher: Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, how very nice. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Leslie Ames, the Chairman of the Test Selection Committee, and I'm very pleased to be able to tell you that your flat has been chosen as the venue for the third test against the West Indies.

Mrs Concrete: Really?

Ratcatcher: No, it was just a little joke. Actually, I am the Council Ratcatcher.

Mrs Concrete: Oh yes, we've been expecting you.

Ratcatcher: Oh, I gather you've got a little rodental problem.

Mrs Concrete: Oh, blimey. You'd think he was awake all the night, scrabbling down by the wainscotting.

Ratcatcher: Um, that's an interesting word, isn't it?

Mrs Concrete: What?

Ratcatcher: Wainscotting ... Wainscotting ... Wainscotting ... sounds like a little Dorset village, doesn't it? Wainscotting.

(Cut to the village of Wains Cotting. A woman rushes out of a house.)

Woman: We've been mentioned on telly!

(Cut back to Concretes' house.)

Ratcatcher: Now, where is it worst?

Mrs Concrete: Well, down here. You can usually hear them.

(Indicates base of wall, which has a label on it saying 'Wainscotting'.)

Ratcatcher: Sssssh

Voice Over: Baa ... baa ... baa ... baa ... baa ... baa...

Ratcatcher: No, that's sheep you've got there.

Voice Over: Baa ... baa.

Ratcatcher: No, that's definitely sheep. A bit of a puzzle, really.

Mrs Concrete: Is it?

Ratcatcher: Yeah, well, I mean it's a) not going to respond to a nice piece of cheese and b) it isn't going to fit into a trap.

Mrs Concrete: Oh - what are you going to do?

Ratcatcher: Well, we'll have to look for the hole.

(We follow them as they look along the wainscotting.)

Mrs Concrete: Oh yeah. There's one here.

(She indicates a small black mousehole.)

Ratcatcher: No, no, that's mice.

(He reaches in and pulls out a line of mice strung out on a piece of elastic. Then he lets go so they shoot in again. The ratcatcher moves on. He moves a chair, behind which there is a three-foot-high black hole.)

Ratcatcher: Ah, this is what we're after.

(The baa-ings get louder. At this point six cricketers enter the room.)

Cricketer: (John Cleese) Excuse me, is the third test in here?

Mr Concrete: No - that was a joke - a joke!

Cricketer: Oh blimey, (exeunt)

Ratcatcher: Right. Well, I'm going in the wainscotting.

(Cut to 'Wains Cotting' woman, who rushes out again.)

Woman: They said it again.

(Back to the sitting room.)

Ratcatcher: I'm going to lay down some sheep poison.

(He disappears into the hole. We hear:)

Voice Over: Baa, baa, baa.

(A gunshot. The ratcatcher reappears clutching his arm.)

Ratcatcher: Aagh. Ooh! It's got a gun!

Mrs Concrete: Blimey.

Ratcatcher: Now, normally a sheep is a placid, timid creature, but you've got a killer.

It's probably been said but, wolves in sheeps clothing?

The jailers lost some little lambs,
They fleeced and yes, they stole.
They tried to get the flock away,
Recaught, t'was no parole.

O'er the ram parts we watched....

i guess they just couldnt get the flock outta there....

joins bonmot ♫

...And so the pair's back in a stew
They butt heads with police.
They were caught, that's mutton' new,
Because they lost their fleece.

Let loose the Rams of Hell! They'll surrender soon enough.

I hope those cons are lamb-asted. One can hope.

http://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/2010/04/maybe-theyre-hungry.html

nuff said

FAKE SHEEP: " Mooo Mooo "

COPS: " Busted ! "

ewe just never know...

They flocked up and still escaped.

How they escaped is Top Secret.

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