24

Here is where we stand:

Last week Jack and Renee finally had sex, and it was a truly romantic and beautiful thing, except for the sniper. A lesson that we all, as Americans, should take away from this tragic episode is: close the blinds.

So now Renee has gone to that Big Wrap Party in the Sky, and Jack is really ticked off at the Russians. President Woman President is also unhappy with the Russians, because they're trying to sabotage the All Important Peace Procezzzzzz

Sorry! We tend to nod off whenever we think about the A.I.P.P. We wish everybody would just shut up about it so we can get on with the part where Jack works through his grief by shooting or stabbing or barehandedly removing the larynxes of as many Russians as humanly possible.

In other developments, Chloe is now in charge of CTU. We think this is great. We wish Chloe were in charge of the whole federal government and routinely tasered it in the butt.

Edgar is still dead.

Tragically, I will not be able to join you tonight, as I am on the road with the World Famous In Some Circles Rock Bottom Remainders, as we prepare for our big international tour of four U.S. cities. We'll be raising money for good causes, so if you can make it to one of the shows, please do. We promise that there will be great music, by which we mean alcohol.

Speaking of great, The Amazing Steve will be discussing the plot in the comments section following tonight's show. Meanwhile, here's a scientific poll.

Are you sad that Renee got sniped?
	Yes, because Renee was hot AND psychotic.
	No, because now Jack is motivated to engage in acts of mass carnage.
	I was hoping that the sniper would be a really bad shot and hit Audrey.
	The Yankees SUCK.
	Montpelier.
pollcode.com free polls

Comments

[danceswithvowels]

Wes, I think that covers a bit of it. Somehow, it's much bigger than that, FTL.

[Kate]

"She thinks she's geting away with it again, but I think she's going to end up dead - and Cole's the guy to do it."

Or, we'll get zombie!Renee to do it. Hey, it makes about as much sense as the rest of the show! :)

[Wes S.]

You're right, Dances: I also forgot Dead Stapler Guy in the wall.

[Gennita Low]

Waterboarding with Jack Bauer would be the new thrill ride at some amusement park.

[Diva]

I've found that to be true, Genn.

Keep dreaming, Mitch.

[nursecindy]

Is there a new law out that requires all commercials must be stupid now? If I see the Dell 'Lolly Pop' commercial one more time I'm going to lose it.

[Kate]

Don't worry, Wes. So did the writers.

[danceswithvowels]

The Heineken Girl is pretty, but as scary as her old man.

[Gennita Low]

All we need to do is bury Renee and she'll come back alive, just like last year.

[funnyman]

COMMERCIAL

Midwest and Frontier copulate, merge. They had a funny ad in Sunday's Kansas City Star.

The headline said
NEW TAIL! GREAT SALE!

So this is a sale on tail?

Hmmm,,,,,

[Jeff Meyerson]

Mrs. Hassan has a new scarf.

[homeybeef]

Has there been an explanation of why Logan is alive?

[danceswithvowels]

Yeah, Wes. Melvin's gotta start leaking soon. And stinking eventually. Chloe seems like a bit of a neat freak. She will not be happy.

[nursecindy]

Is the other wall solid glass?

[Siouxie]

Gennita, the Pet Sematary should work. She can come back more eviler than before!! buahaaha!!

[Gennita Low]

Diva, you too? We must drink together!

[ArcticAl]

So Handbag is going to try and convince President Woman President that he's more trustworthy than Jack. ya right.

[Wes S.]

So who is Madame President gonna trust, Jack or former President Handbag?

[danceswithvowels]

Who said Renee's dead?

[Jeff Meyerson]

He's going to tell her to stop Jack?

He's already questioned Dana, Handbag. You're too late.

"Agent Walker? She's dead, Jim."

"You're gonna have to trust me."

As if.

[Mitch]

"Pressured" a Russina mosbster? That was pressure? Pressure is an anvil sitting on your chest while laying on a bed of nails.

[Siouxie]

Oh yeah...she can trust HIM.

[Gennita Low]

Siouxie, Renee can be IT.

[nursecindy]

Don't get too upset Ethan. You'll pop a stitch.

[Wes S.]

OK, with this revelation, why isn't Madame President having Handbag arrested?

[Jeff Meyerson]

Logan's nose is growing at an exponential rate.

[Diva]

Genn, I think we already are. :D

[Greg]

See Tony IS behind all of this.

[danceswithvowels]

Virtual IT? Is that like a zombie process on a pr0n server?

[exs120]

She wants their vodka...I want their vodka.

[ArcticAl]

So President Woman President is going to choose Handbag over the right thing to do? I think that she has the cojones to do the right thing.

[homeybeef]

"The greater good"

I like Hot Fuzz

[nursecindy]

I would like to see Jack hit Logan so hard his blue contacts would pop out.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Zzzzz*snort* Wh? Wha? Where am I? Oh, "24" is still on TV...zzzzzzzzzz....

[Gennita Low]

Sigh. Where is Jack? These people are talking, talking, talking.

[Siouxie]

Oh God. Someone sedate Handbag. He's getting all psycho again.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Wasn't he involved in the President Allstate hit?

Just have him arrested!

[Kate]

Wow, Logan is rapidly outstripping a feed lot in the manure department.

[Loudmouth]

We need armed Presidents. Handbag should have a presidential bullet.

[Wes S.]

Somebody, please just SHOOT the Handbag. Just SHOOT the SOB.

[funnyman]

God, he really really is Nixon! Right down to the
arrogant stuck up nose!!!

"you've got to trust me madame Presient"

"No, you conniving little wimp" (she shouldda said)

[Jeff Meyerson]

Now he's quoting Shakespeare!

[danceswithvowels]

Handbag: Madame President, I, among all the people of the world, will definitely respect you in the morning.

[Gennita Low]

Dances,

Virtual IT would be scarier than you think.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Impeach her!

[Wes S.]

Yes, there is only one choice: Give Logan to Jack for some stick time!

[ArcticAl]

Only Jack can call the President and get a secret meeting interupted,and get her to leave a peace conference to come see him. Now we know who's really runnning the country.

[Kate]

She's going to CTU? That doesn't sound safe.

[homeybeef]

"...to see Jack bauer"
She heard he's single now

[exs120]

If memory serves me correctly, Caesar was stabbed...in the back. So Handbag is Marc Anthony?

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Careful, Madame President Woman, or Jack will SMACK you and slam your head into a table...

[Greg]

Has anyone with an immunity deal ever lived to the end of the day. Those things are death sentences!

[Jeff]

Even the demons quote Shakespeare, and shudder.

[Siouxie]

Et tu, Handbag?

[nursecindy]

Take Logan with you Madame Woman President! Let Jack 'interview' him for a few minutes. I would say debrief but after the 'don't ask don't tell' remark I don't think that's the proper phrase.

[Kate]

Oooh, Russell Crowe and Cate Blanchet. That might be good.

[Twoina]

President Smarmy Weasel Handbag. Ick.

[Diva]

Just so long as she doesn't go to CTU Medical.

[Gennita Low]

Next Logan will be whipping out the Victory sign. Then Jack can slam his head on the table and smack him a couple!

[Loudmouth]

I am not a crook.

[LeDud]

Robin Hood looks good. But why not Keifer as Robin ? Oooohhhh or Claude Van Dam

[Kate]

nursecindy, I'm actually laughing out loud at that comment.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Look, the man's own wife stabbed him in the neck. If that doesn't tell you something, what does?

Kill the living sh!t ouf of him.

[Wes S.]

"Cry Havoc! and let slip the Bauer of war..."

[Mitch]

Kate, I'm there!

[danceswithvowels]

In the back, exs120? Don't ask!

Definitely *not* safe, Kate!

That would be truly scary then, Jenn. I have a very vivid imagination. And access to many petabytes of data.

[Gennita Low]

Okay, I shall now drink a toast/ode to boredom.

[Greg]

"...to see Jack bauer"
She heard he's single now

Posted by: homeybeef | April 19, 2010 at 09:37 PM

Very Funny Homeybeef!

[nursecindy]

Of course she's almost there. They need transporters like they had on Star Trek.

[exs120]

No Chloe, it's your office now...for SOME reason.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Arlo - where the hell has he been?

Chloe, it's your office now. Hastings is toast.

[Jeff]

Beware Presidents bearing plot twists . . .

[Kate]

OK, Wes. That needs to be on an LJ icon. :)

[Gennita Low]

I think Cole is going to kill Dana Walsh. He's The Other Mole.

[danceswithvowels]

Dana's got a good pair. They can drill holes in you.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Never mind the bomb blasts on the wall, Madame President Woman...

[Jeff Meyerson]

Did she take the Batmobile? How did she get from the UN to CTU so fast?

[Wes S.]

And it only took Madame President maybe two minutes to get to CTU. What, are these people channeling the One Power and gatewaying their way around New York, like Rand al-Thor?

[Jeff Meyerson]

Is this 24 or FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS?

[tropichunt.com guy™]

As they all watch: "...the peace process is still alive..."

All the CTU'ers begin to nod off...

[LeDud]

Bauer and Pres sitting in a tree...Kissi...

[exs120]

President Woman President is dead meat...no one enters CTU and leaves alive!

[danceswithvowels]

We're still in the game!? She didn't tell about the rear entrance aspects.

[homeybeef]

Didn't you all know? Everything in NY is only 5 min from CTU with traffic.

[Twoina]

Chloe has the best facial expressions of anyone on 24. She doesn't have to speak. You can tell what she's thinking by the look on her face.

[Siouxie]

Would you like some wine, Jack??

[K-Doc]

So the President goes to the most secure location in New York - CTU. I expect half the CTU workers to be Russian assassins.

[nursecindy]

It's been a little over an hour since Renee was killed. Jack's almost over it now.

[Wes S.]

She frakkin' LISTENED to the Handbag?

*headdesk* *headdesk*

[tropichunt.com guy™]

"...the peace process is back on track..."

...and Jack begins to nod off...

[Siouxie]

You can't handle the truth!

[Jeff Meyerson]

"You don't know that"?

Is she freaking kidding.

"You don't want to know the truth."

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH, lady!!!!!!!

[Kate]

Wow. She's going with scumbag Logan over Jack? Baaaaad move.

***

"I can bring peace..."
Arrogant, much?

[ArcticAl]

President Woman President is caving into Handbag. Doesn't she know who the boss is?

[exs120]

President Woman Handbag!

[danceswithvowels]

I don't *want* to know the truth!? I can't *handle* the truth!!!

[Jeff Meyerson]

Nukular!

*drinks*

[Mitch]

The old "extraction" technique.

Jack just said nucular.

[Diva]

NUKULAR!!!!

[Gennita Low]

Nu-Ku-Lar! Drink!