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April 11, 2010

A GIANT LEAP FOR MANKIND

The Swingless Golf Club

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

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Just what we need. A way to make golf even less physically exerting.

At first I thought this was an Onion-type story, but I guess they are really making/trying to sell this thing. Good luck trying to use that on a real course...methinks the golf pros will come running the first time they hear one of those explosive charges.

Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!


will come in handy while you are watching your ice melt in your glass.

A golf ball cannon would be so much more fun. Come to think of it, cannon golf would beat regular golf every which way. A sport is born.

I've got one of their putters, and God help me, it lowered my score.

Elin Nordegren wishes she had one of these a few months back.

(To the tune of the Four Seasons' "Workin' My Way Back To You." Go see Jersey Boys.)

Working to slay my libido
Getting daily therapy
Yeah, I'm working to slay my libido
Cos my infidelity
Got so much in the way
Now I don't even play

When I was still a single dude
I nearly nailed everything that moved
To keep from getting bored while I was on tour
My hotel bed a revolving door

I'm insatiable
And I just can't help it if old habits have to die hard
A model here
A waitress there
I needed some
Anytime, anywhere

Now I'm working to slay my libido
Getting daily therapy
Yeah, I'm working to slay my libido
Cos my infidelity
Got so much in the way
Now I don't even play

I married Elin Nordegren
But pretty soon I was bored again
Thought I could have my babes
And Elin too
Now my prenup's a complete redo

But it's hard to change
You know what they say about teaching new tricks to old dogs
You won't put out
You won't give in
So would you mind
Sending over your twin?

I keep working to slay my libido
Getting daily therapy
Yeah, I'm working to slay my libido
Cos my infidelity
Got so much in the way
Now I don't even play

Yeah, yeah, yeah
Working to slay my libido
Getting daily therapy
Yeah, I'm working to slay my libido
Cos my infidelity
Got so much in the way
Now I don't even play...

I want one. Maybe it would improve my golf game. Right now my game consists mainly of me swinging wildly, missing the ball, and saying many bad words. At least that's all I did both times I attempted to play golf.

Bravo SW! Very nice. Actually I think Elin would like one of these clubs with two things on it that hit balls when you press the button.

*snork* @ stevie! good job!!


Golf?? *snooze*

200 yards?

Heck, if we're gonna use explosive devices, I've got a deer rifle that'll shoot where I aim it out to 600 yards ... Quigley could do better tho, more than 1,000 yards ...

*makes note to never play golf with O the U.*

Hey, I'd be sure to yell "FORE" ... (hundred yards) ...

Golf?? *snooze*

Posted by: Siouxie | April 11, 2010 at 10:13 PM

What Siouxie said, double for me.

SW, you wanted to see me?

*Snork@SW's 4-Seasonal parody*

Excellent, SW -
Your song is 'a thing of beauty-ism'.

Whatever game this club is intended for, you can't call it Golf:

USGA Rule 1.1

The Game of Golf consists of playing a ball with a club from the teeing ground into the hole by a stroke or successive strokes in accordance with the Rules.


Moving the ball with this thing is not a "stroke", which, according to the Rules, requires forward movement of the club. Also, the Rules place strict limitations on club design, particularly the face of the club.

Ernie:

So if using this club doesn't count as a stroke, what's wrong widdat?

There's nothing wrong widdat. My point was that the only way to move a ball in the Game of Golf is with a stroke using a club that conforms with the Rules of Golf. Otherwise it's something else. It may be good clean fun, but it's not Golf.

loudmouth:
I once fired a golf ball cannon. It was a potato cannon with a smaller pipe on the front. You can get amazing range out of that.

Guys, of course, would be tempted to see what would happen if you combined a powerful swing with a simultaneous explosive charge. A five-mile drive? Investigation for firing at low-flying aircraft?

Tiger swung way too hard.
His wife exploded.

Now, he is, supposedly, 'swingless'.

So now I don't have to get out of the golf cart to take the next shot?
Pass me another beer.

Wire, Now dats what I'm talkin' about. Four guys with golf ball cannons rounding the course. An exploding ball would be a hole in one every time.

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