Here is where we stand:
Despite the ongoing efforts of CTU, the terrorists managed to get the Lethal Atomic Rods of Doom into Manhattan and convert them into a dirty bomb at an all-night nuclear-rod-conversion shop. The terrorists told President Woman President that they would set off the bomb unless she turned over Generic Islamic Republic President Sham, whose hairdo has been gaining altitude with each passing hour and is now the height of Tom Cruise.
When the president refused to accede to the terrorists' demands, Generic Military General Brucker secretly ordered a team of commandos to kidnap President Sham anyway. But Jack and Renee defeated the commandos, who were terrible shots, possibly because they were wearing ski masks.
So now the terrorists have activated the timer, which means that unless Jack stops it, in 15 minutes the dirty bomb will go off in the Upper West Side, seriously depressing the condo market.
In subplot action:
- Agent Dana Walsh is about to be exposed as a mole, which is not surprising inasmuch as she has basically been walking around CTU headquarters with a giant sign that says "I'M THE MOLE, YOU MORONS."
- The Duke University Arrogant Wingtipped Demons square off tonight for the NCAA men's basketball championship against Butler, a plucky underdog team of scrappy youngsters from a university located in Indiana or possibly Iowa.
- Edgar is still dead.
We will attempt to monitor both 24 and the Duke-Butler game tonight, so our analysis may be even less coherent than usual. Stay tuned in the comments afterward to find out what comes out of the brain of The Amazing Steve. Meanwhile, here's a scientific poll:
UPDATE: This here is some tension.
UPDATE: Of course now they can use the dirty-bomb-countdown timer again.
UPDATE: Have you watched "Glee"? Well, you should.
UPDATE: "No one here knows that." There you have CTU in a nutshell.
UPDATE: Wouldn't it be great if just once Jack tried to lighten things up with, I don't know, a fart joke?
UPDATE: Jack is pretty much treating the POTUS as a low-level subordinate. Which of course she is, to Jack.
UPDATE: Bishop is not the brightest bulb on the black-ops tree.
UPDATE: Hastings makes the WORST speeches.
UPDATE: Chloe is not ABOUT to let Dana reroute the servers.
UPDATE: Seriously, how long does it take for CTU and the NYPD to get to a car when they know exactly where it is?
UPDATE: I would not let Agent Walsh anywhere NEAR the trunk line.
UPDATE: Agent Walsh is the Freddy Krueger of CTU.
UPDATE: A LEFT TURN! THOSE SNEAKY TERRORIST BASTARDS!!
UPDATE: Maybe it was a Toyota.
UPDATE: The old President Sham Switcheroo.
UPDATE: A PRIUS! THOSE BASTARDS!!!
UPDATE: How many times per episode does President Woman President say "I don't understand"?
UPDATE: Once again we are reminded: There is no place on earth less secure from terrorism than the Counter Terrorism Unit.
UPDATE: "Me? Why?" BECAUSE YOU'RE THE STAR, JACK.
UPDATE: This only turns Dana on.
UPDATE: If Jack punches Dana, Renee will be SO jealous.
UPDATE: Is that Debbie Harry schlepping President Sham around?
UPDATE: I can't believe they named a fake country "IRK."
UPDATE: A FLU SHOT! THOSE BASTARDS!!!
UPDATE: Butler 4, Wingtipped Demons 6.
UPDATE: Butler 9, WD 10.
BUTLERDATE: Up by 1!
UPDATE: The president also assures people several times per episode that We Are Doing Everything We Can.
UPDATE: OK, for the record: for like the sixth time this season, CTU knows EXACTLY where the terrorists are.
UPDATE: Hoosiers 20, WD 18.
UPDATE:When Jack says get down, you need to get the hell DOWN.
UPDATE: "Call CTU. I want to know what the HELL went wrong." Has this woman never watched this show?
UPDATE: Next week: The old president! Whatshisname!
UPDATE: OK, I am confused. We have the Lethal Atomic Rods of Doom, right? And President Sham is dead, and Agent Dana Walsh has been exposed. So.... what exactly is the plot about now? Maybe the Amazing Steve can clear everything up.
UPDATE: Butler 27, WD 28.
UPDATE: President Handbag. Thank you.