24

Here is where we stand:

Despite the ongoing efforts of CTU, the terrorists managed to get the Lethal Atomic Rods of Doom into Manhattan and convert them into a dirty bomb at an all-night nuclear-rod-conversion shop. The terrorists told President Woman President that they would set off the bomb unless she turned over Generic Islamic Republic President Sham, whose hairdo has been gaining altitude with each passing hour and is now the height of Tom Cruise.

When the president refused to accede to the terrorists' demands, Generic Military General Brucker secretly ordered a team of commandos to kidnap President Sham anyway. But Jack and Renee defeated the commandos, who were terrible shots, possibly because they were wearing ski masks.

So now the terrorists have activated the timer, which means that unless Jack stops it, in 15 minutes the dirty bomb will go off in the Upper West Side, seriously depressing the condo market.

In subplot action:

• Agent Dana Walsh is about to be exposed as a mole, which is not surprising inasmuch as she has basically been walking around CTU headquarters with a giant sign that says "I'M THE MOLE, YOU MORONS."
• The Duke University Arrogant Wingtipped Demons square off tonight for the NCAA men's basketball championship against Butler, a plucky underdog team of scrappy youngsters from a university located in Indiana or possibly Iowa.
• Edgar is still dead.

We will attempt to monitor both 24 and the Duke-Butler game tonight, so our analysis may be even less coherent than usual. Stay tuned in the comments afterward to find out what comes out of the brain of The Amazing Steve. Meanwhile, here's a scientific poll:

Do you think the bomb will go off?
	No.
	Yes, but at the last second Jack will swallow it, so it will detonate harmlessly inside him.
	This is not technically relevant, but: anybody not rooting for Butler is heartless scum.
	Montpelier.
pollcode.com free polls

UPDATE: This here is some tension.

UPDATE: Of course now they can use the dirty-bomb-countdown timer again.

UPDATE: Have you watched "Glee"? Well, you should.

UPDATE: "No one here knows that." There you have CTU in a nutshell.

UPDATE: Wouldn't it be great if just once Jack tried to lighten things up with, I don't know, a fart joke?

UPDATE: Jack is pretty much treating the POTUS as a low-level subordinate. Which of course she is, to Jack.

UPDATE: Bishop is not the brightest bulb on the black-ops tree.

UPDATE: Hastings makes the WORST speeches.

UPDATE: Chloe is not ABOUT to let Dana reroute the servers.

UPDATE: Seriously, how long does it take for CTU and the NYPD to get to a car when they know exactly where it is?

UPDATE: I would not let Agent Walsh anywhere NEAR the trunk line.

UPDATE: Agent Walsh is the Freddy Krueger of CTU.

UPDATE: A LEFT TURN! THOSE SNEAKY TERRORIST BASTARDS!!

UPDATE: Maybe it was a Toyota.

UPDATE: The old President Sham Switcheroo.

UPDATE: A PRIUS! THOSE BASTARDS!!!

UPDATE: How many times per episode does President Woman President say "I don't understand"?

UPDATE: Once again we are reminded: There is no place on earth less secure from terrorism than the Counter Terrorism Unit.

UPDATE: "Me? Why?" BECAUSE YOU'RE THE STAR, JACK.

UPDATE: This only turns Dana on.

UPDATE: If Jack punches Dana, Renee will be SO jealous.

UPDATE: Is that Debbie Harry schlepping President Sham around?

UPDATE: I can't believe they named a fake country "IRK."

UPDATE: A FLU SHOT! THOSE BASTARDS!!!

UPDATE: Butler 4, Wingtipped Demons 6.

UPDATE: Butler 9, WD 10.

BUTLERDATE: Up by 1!

UPDATE: The president also assures people several times per episode that We Are Doing Everything We Can.

UPDATE: OK, for the record: for like the sixth time this season, CTU knows EXACTLY where the terrorists are.

UPDATE: Hoosiers 20, WD 18.

UPDATE:When Jack says get down, you need to get the hell DOWN.

UPDATE: "Call CTU. I want to know what the HELL went wrong." Has this woman never watched this show?

UPDATE: Next week: The old president! Whatshisname!

UPDATE: OK, I am confused. We have the Lethal Atomic Rods of Doom, right? And President Sham is dead, and Agent Dana Walsh has been exposed. So.... what exactly is the plot about now? Maybe the Amazing Steve can clear everything up.

UPDATE: Butler 27, WD 28.

UPDATE: President Handbag. Thank you.

Comments

[Diva]

Hey! That guy stole Chloe's taser!!!

[rockin01]

Hey, Pre4sident Sham is being interviewed by the same guys who grilled Tiger...

[Vampire Penguin]

Don't tase me bro!

[Loudmouth]

Sloppy torture. Yikes, did he just zap Hassan in the crotch?

[Cassie]

He's immune to iocane powder!

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Aww, c'mon. Tory from Mythbusters shocked himself with a hand taser...if he can survive it, this guy can...

[nursecindy]

Read the statement for heaven's sake. Keep your fingers crossed and wink a lot when you do it.

[Twoina]

President Sham's hair is all electrocuted.

[danceswithvowels]

The piece will die here with you? I thought the pieces were coming off anyway?

[Jeff Meyerson]

Get Kayla, that'll make him talk.

Why does Samir sound Russian half the time?

[Cassie]

The Secret Service needs AARON.

[Diva]

LOL, Twoina - like he needs bigger hair. :D

[homeybeef]

Alright, setting up a perimeter. There is no more mole, all the terrorists are in there. There is NO WAY it can fail this time.

[Mitch]

Good grief, a guy arrives late from a dinner date to find the comments are already up to page six. Meanwhile, I's still relishing a beer from LA called...............zzzz....zzzz....zzzzzzzzzzzz........Andygator.

I'll try to catch up.

[Vampire Penguin]

Looks like it could be a coin flip. Heads!

[KJP]

The President's job is now apparently to reassure the family every ten minutes.

[rockin01]

I think you need to text BONER for that, dances

[Loudmouth]

Who wants to bet scorned Mrs. Hassan warns the terrorists?

[ArcticAl]

So Chloe can tell what room you're in by the light temperature. Neat!

[trustf8]

please NOT wolf blitzer

[LeDud]

If Shamwow dies...the dollar crashes....oil 200 bucks a barrel.....for Gods sake CTU save him.

[kombatkoala]

Now if this was CTU or NCIS would take the shadows and calculate the length to figure out which floor they were on...

[nursecindy]

I'm getting a little tired of being called an infidel.

[Kate]

Chloe is doing better than the rest of them at keeping up.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Who's going to believe you, dude?

Right, Chloe can tell this instantly. But she couldn't figure that Dana was the mole.

[Steve-O]

The Bishop!

[Cassie]

Dammit, Cox Cable, I can't hear anything!

[homeybeef]

From anyone but Chloe, that would sound ridiculous.

[danceswithvowels]

Your Sham Husband is being held in an apartment building. And it's rent controlled, so the super doesn't care about whether torture is broadcast from there. The good news is that the connection is only dial-up, so we won't get HD for the execution.

[Cassie]

Perimeter! DRINK!

[KJP]

Hurry Jack, before the terrorists overload Ustream!

[Jeff Meyerson]

Perimeter!

*drinks*

[homeybeef]

How can this perimeter fail? It can't, that's how.

[Daniel Kolle]

I would not trust their training.

[djtonyb]

Perimeter!

*runs to kitchen to pour a drink*

I wasn't prepared...

[LeDud]

What a pep talk from Jack. Can he coach football ?

[Kate]

I would totally trust crazy Renee to do what she's told.

[Mitch]

Silence your weapons.

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Freckles has that "not so confident" look in her eyes...

[tw]

Next up: Scenes from an all new 24? What happened to this all new 24?????

[ASLSigner]

The lookouts must've been trained at CTU....

[Cassie]

Renee's looking for a power tool.

[kombatkoala]

And now that he made her promise, who really believes she will 'stay behind him and do exactly as he says?'

[ArcticAl]

Ahhh Jack likes Freckles...

Jack and Renee sitting in a tree
K-I-L-L-I-N-G
First comes pistols
Then comes knives
Then comes Freckles with a baby carriage car bomb.

[Gennita Low]

Jack made Renee promise, but he didn't talk to Dark Renee.

[trustf8]

Freckles has that "i-promise/i-don't-promise" look in her eyes...

[Cassie]

snork@Gennita
So very true.

[Loudmouth]

Smoke me a kipper. Hands in. Lets GO. Toga, Toga.

[danceswithvowels]

Yes, that "not-so-fresh-confident feeling" is a bitch killer.

[homeybeef]

"Renee, promise you won't stab me again"

"I'm not sure if I can do that, Jack"

[Jeff Meyerson]

THE NAKEDS are back!

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Jack didn't get her to promise in her little girl voice...

On a different note, The Nakeds are holding my attention through the show...

[danceswithvowels]

I'm in, Victoria!

[Mitch]

Go Hoosiers!

[LeDud]

Artic Al and Cassie......great.

[The Weapons]

*chatters with neighbors and answers cellphone*

*glares at Mitch*

[Gennita Low]

Are they going to be late for the beheading?

[Kate]

Y'all are hilarious and I haven't even been drinking.

[tw]

This has all the makings of a Cylon double cross...

[homeybeef]

Yup, I don't see this one failing at all.

[nursecindy]

Wow! They actually hit someone the first time they shot! That's a record.

[KJP]

So... down to four bad guys left then.

[Diva]

*SNORK* @ Al!!

[Jeff Meyerson]

Cut the cable! Then SAmir's transmission is as dead as he's about to be.

[danceswithvowels]

Heads up, everyone! Or head's down!

[LeDud]

He got down alright.

[Mitch]

Shootin' guys on the rooftop...Kelly's Heros.

They need a bell though.

[Diva]

Well, he got down.

[Kate]

Heads anywhere-else-but-near-Samir.

[KJP]

Unlucky for that guy he only understood Spanish.

[Siouxie]

Good thing terrorists just LOVE to rant on and on and on...

[Jeff Meyerson]

I guess the guy who wouldn't lay down wasn't an innocent civilian after all.

[tw]

Mitch: And they need Don Rickles!

[nursecindy]

Why don't they try the old pizza delivery trick?

[ArcticAl]

How come he's making the broasdcast to IRK in English instead of IRKish? No one will understand him.

[djtonyb]

Can't they just use a glass against the wall like a regular nosy neighbor?

[Twoina]

Why do dogs pick the worst time in a show to want to go out? Oh wait this is 24. I forgot. Back in 5.

[Diva]

Al, I didn't even catch that. ><

[LeDud]

"I'm not here to hurt you ....just you male kin".

[ArcticAl]

and Jack pulls out his handy dandy lock picker

[Mitch]

tw, and that outhouse.

[danceswithvowels]

Samir's wrapping it up? Or unwrapping?

[Kate]

Ooooh. Action.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Lady Gaga is down!

[Diva]

Nice shot, Renee!

[nursecindy]

Good shot Renee!

[danceswithvowels]

Lady Gaga's done!

[Siouxie]

oops...wrong room

[tw]

It IS a Cylon doublecross!

[Kate]

Dana is dead.

[homeybeef]

Wow. What a twist.

[kombatkoala]

Okay, shut down the video already...

[Siouxie]

Crap...too late.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Too late

[nursecindy]

He's toast.

[Diva]

Oops. RIGHT room. Just a little too late. ><

RIP, President Sham.

[Kate]

Based on Jack's face, a lot of peopple are dead. They just don't know it yet.

[homeybeef]

So...that's it? Now what?

[danceswithvowels]

Well, good news. His head's still attached. Sorta.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Well, the good news is,..they don't have to give Dana immunity.