24

Here is where we stand:

Despite the ongoing efforts of CTU, the terrorists managed to get the Lethal Atomic Rods of Doom into Manhattan and convert them into a dirty bomb at an all-night nuclear-rod-conversion shop. The terrorists told President Woman President that they would set off the bomb unless she turned over Generic Islamic Republic President Sham, whose hairdo has been gaining altitude with each passing hour and is now the height of Tom Cruise.

When the president refused to accede to the terrorists' demands, Generic Military General Brucker secretly ordered a team of commandos to kidnap President Sham anyway. But Jack and Renee defeated the commandos, who were terrible shots, possibly because they were wearing ski masks.

So now the terrorists have activated the timer, which means that unless Jack stops it, in 15 minutes the dirty bomb will go off in the Upper West Side, seriously depressing the condo market.

In subplot action:

• Agent Dana Walsh is about to be exposed as a mole, which is not surprising inasmuch as she has basically been walking around CTU headquarters with a giant sign that says "I'M THE MOLE, YOU MORONS."
• The Duke University Arrogant Wingtipped Demons square off tonight for the NCAA men's basketball championship against Butler, a plucky underdog team of scrappy youngsters from a university located in Indiana or possibly Iowa.
• Edgar is still dead.

We will attempt to monitor both 24 and the Duke-Butler game tonight, so our analysis may be even less coherent than usual. Stay tuned in the comments afterward to find out what comes out of the brain of The Amazing Steve. Meanwhile, here's a scientific poll:

Do you think the bomb will go off?
	No.
	Yes, but at the last second Jack will swallow it, so it will detonate harmlessly inside him.
	This is not technically relevant, but: anybody not rooting for Butler is heartless scum.
	Montpelier.
pollcode.com free polls

UPDATE: This here is some tension.

UPDATE: Of course now they can use the dirty-bomb-countdown timer again.

UPDATE: Have you watched "Glee"? Well, you should.

UPDATE: "No one here knows that." There you have CTU in a nutshell.

UPDATE: Wouldn't it be great if just once Jack tried to lighten things up with, I don't know, a fart joke?

UPDATE: Jack is pretty much treating the POTUS as a low-level subordinate. Which of course she is, to Jack.

UPDATE: Bishop is not the brightest bulb on the black-ops tree.

UPDATE: Hastings makes the WORST speeches.

UPDATE: Chloe is not ABOUT to let Dana reroute the servers.

UPDATE: Seriously, how long does it take for CTU and the NYPD to get to a car when they know exactly where it is?

UPDATE: I would not let Agent Walsh anywhere NEAR the trunk line.

UPDATE: Agent Walsh is the Freddy Krueger of CTU.

UPDATE: A LEFT TURN! THOSE SNEAKY TERRORIST BASTARDS!!

UPDATE: Maybe it was a Toyota.

UPDATE: The old President Sham Switcheroo.

UPDATE: A PRIUS! THOSE BASTARDS!!!

UPDATE: How many times per episode does President Woman President say "I don't understand"?

UPDATE: Once again we are reminded: There is no place on earth less secure from terrorism than the Counter Terrorism Unit.

UPDATE: "Me? Why?" BECAUSE YOU'RE THE STAR, JACK.

UPDATE: This only turns Dana on.

UPDATE: If Jack punches Dana, Renee will be SO jealous.

UPDATE: Is that Debbie Harry schlepping President Sham around?

UPDATE: I can't believe they named a fake country "IRK."

UPDATE: A FLU SHOT! THOSE BASTARDS!!!

UPDATE: Butler 4, Wingtipped Demons 6.

UPDATE: Butler 9, WD 10.

BUTLERDATE: Up by 1!

UPDATE: The president also assures people several times per episode that We Are Doing Everything We Can.

UPDATE: OK, for the record: for like the sixth time this season, CTU knows EXACTLY where the terrorists are.

UPDATE: Hoosiers 20, WD 18.

UPDATE:When Jack says get down, you need to get the hell DOWN.

UPDATE: "Call CTU. I want to know what the HELL went wrong." Has this woman never watched this show?

UPDATE: Next week: The old president! Whatshisname!

UPDATE: OK, I am confused. We have the Lethal Atomic Rods of Doom, right? And President Sham is dead, and Agent Dana Walsh has been exposed. So.... what exactly is the plot about now? Maybe the Amazing Steve can clear everything up.

UPDATE: Butler 27, WD 28.

UPDATE: President Handbag. Thank you.

Comments

[Kate]

She wants to talk to Jack? That's suicide right there.

[Cassie]

She wants to talk to Jack. Death wish.

[The dead henchman]

Drag her out by her hair!

[danceswithvowels]

Make her talk in the most painful way, Hastings! Give her Fizzees instead of Midol! Or summat.

[LeDud]

No catfight....damnit....drinks for the killings !

[KJP]

She wants Jack's autograph before she's hauled off to prison.

[homeybeef]

She wants to be interrogated by Jack Bauer. ALright.

[nursecindy]

Somebody's going to be wanting his ring back.

[trustf8]

Get Bauer? So Jack is a mole, too? Excellent

[Cassie]

So Tarin's redemption arc was for naught.

[Loudmouth]

Jack can shoot a thigh over the phone? Yeah, it's Jack.

[Cassie]

I bet Dana's gonna pull that, "I got your daughter Jack and granddaughter. Release me and they go free."

[Jeff Meyerson]

How much do the CTU crack security guards make, $8.50 an hour? Their previous job was guarding a bank branch in Staten Island, right?

At least Cole can shoot.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Q: How many CTU does it take to shoot out a tire?
A: How many digits are their in pi?

[Gennita Low]

I'd rather Renee saws Dana's thumb off. But Jack and his ballpen might work. Then it's Cole's turn!

[danceswithvowels]

Le Pure Cafe = Careful Pee = Fecal Puree

[Twoina]

Well, dang. I didn't know the Jack Bauer Show started at 8 tonight. I feel so out of the loop.

[Clankie]

The upper West Side is so last decade. What have they got up there anyway...? Columbia ? Fergetaboutit.

[The dead henchman]

Boy, this show got. Better when they cancelled it!

[Gennita Low]

Maybe Dana and Jack can have a strangling contest.

[Diva]

FYI - I thought I saw something off, so I rewound. Jim's computer screen said, "APPREHEND ON SITE." Site. Really. ><

[Jeff Meyerson]

Update: the game hasn't started yet.

[LeDud]

The marriage may yet still happen. "The couple that kills together...stays together". Love may conquer all...yadayadayadaddd

[emj]

hmm . . . i wonder if Cole is still making payments on that ring . . . poor man, i don't think even he deserves such a creep

[Loudmouth]

Maybe the CTU guards should be renamed the target squad. They go down faster than Brittany Spears.

[Gennita Low]

Jeff M,
Cole had A LOT of bullet practice lately.

[trustf8]

I, too, vote for Rene's 'Blades of Glory'

[Cassie]

I'm with you on that Gennita though I'd love to see naked wrestling between Jack and Renee.

[Siouxie]

I think Jack needs to torture her

[LeDud]

should have said: "slays together stays together"

[Loudmouth]

Mr. & Mrs Smith, Dud.

[Kate]

He knew she was working under a pseudonym? He knew she was working illegally?

[homeybeef]

"Wow. We should have run a back ground check on her or something."

[Gennita Low]

Diva, Well, Dana was on the site :).

[Twoina]

Hola amigas y amigos. I'm teaching myself Spanish or trying to.

[KJP]

So her name's not actually Dana Walsh. Why does this matter?

[The dead henchman]

They do great background checks at CTU, huh?

[Cassie]

So Cole's accent comes out again.

[Loudmouth]

Cole needs to be s**tcanned.

[Siouxie]

I was thinking with my head...yeah..the OTHER one.

DUH.

[danceswithvowels]

Can I make it up to you, Mr. Hastings? I could torture her for an hour.

[Kate]

Uhhhhh. No.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Really, Diva?

Bwahahahaha!

Excellent.

"There's no making this right, Cole."

[Cassie]

Hell yeah! Jack to interrogation.

[nursecindy]

Oh boy! Jack's there. This should be good.

[homeybeef]

Dana is trying to be as Nina as she can be and she is failing.

[Kate]

Finally!

[tw]

Hastings forcing Chico Jr. to go to debrief is the first good decision he's made in the past 16 hours!

[Siouxie]

Forget Jack. Renee needs to hack her fingers.

[trustf8]

Jaaaaaaaaaack!

[The dead henchman]

Send him to interrogation! Famous last words!

[rockin01]

Hola, twoina- tonight's episode is one big
bore-itto...

[Jeff Meyerson]

Is she going to tell them where she hid The Stapler?

[Zachary Lawson]

"infiltate CTU is no easy task"??? bahahahahahaha!!!

[Cassie]

RODS!

[kombatkoala]

Why do people still think it's a good idea to let Jack go into interrogation alone?

[danceswithvowels]

Hastings doesn't trust his own opinion now? Yes, he's making progress!

[Diva]

LOL, Gen - indeed.

¡Hola, Twoina!

[ArcticAl]

Come on Jack scream in her face. YAY!

[The dead henchman]

Infiltrating CTU is not an easy task? Hah!

[nursecindy]

Smack her around Jack.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Nucular!

*drinks*

[kombatkoala]

WHEN DID THEY MOVE THE INTERROGATION ROOM TO THE DEATH STAR?!?!?!?

[LeDud]

Ohhhh head up ...oraface...ohhhhhh

[Cassie]

She's so not Nina.

[Kate]

Or he could just beat it out of her.

[homeybeef]

Jack agrees.

[Siouxie]

Arrogant slut

[Jeff Meyerson]

DO IT, JACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Twoina]

Money? Jack don't need no stinkin' money.

[Siouxie]

YES JACK!!!!

[KJP]

"You're the only one here who doesn't have his head up his ass". The line of the series, ladies and gentlemen.

[Diva]

Bite her, Jack!! BITE HER!!

[homeybeef]

So she wants a clean record so she can get a job at another branch of CTU?

[nursecindy]

Way to go Jack! Kill her!

[tropichunt.com guy™]

STRANGLE HER! ON SITE!

[Jeff Meyerson]

She wants to be compensated?

[LeDud]

Renee is turned ON.....psychoanalysis needed.....

[Diva]

Why is it the only person who understands Jack's capabilities and power is THE BAD GUY?

[tw]

Who was supposed to pay her? There IS another mole within CTU.

[trustf8]

tick tock...

lame

[Loudmouth]

I wanted to see her eyes pop out like one of those little rubber toys.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Those interrogation cell doors really should make the Star Trek swoosh sound when they open/close...the budget on the show is high enough...

[danceswithvowels]

Yes, strangle her and then give her Midol to bring her back from the fatal migraine.

[Diva]

An empty parking spot in NYC? Oh, Shirley, you jest!

[Jeff Meyerson]

It's not a Prius, Dave, it's Honda's imitation version.

[Cassie]

Lady Gaga... Poker face?

[homeybeef]

GOD DAMN STORM WATCH!!! GET OFF OF MY TV!!!

[Kate]

I think that was all of the action we're going to get this hour.

[tw]

Weather alert in Chicago - we've lost "24"!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO......

[Zachary Lawson]

President Sham in a Snuggie!

[Cassie]

homey, for the first 30 minutes of the last hour, I didn't get good reception nor sound. Damn Cox Cable.

[kombatkoala]

Fox just interrupted 24 to tell me it's raining outside.

And there are yellow circles. "To indicate wind is very strong in the storm."

The writing on the 'severe weather update' is almost as good as the writing in 24...

[tw]

Go back to "24"!!! They're telling us that the storm is weakening.....IDIOTS!!!

[Diva]

NOOOOOOOO, Chicago!!! Come back!!

[trustf8]

lol snuggiesham

[nursecindy]

President Sham doesn't look so good.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Hasan's wig is slipping.

[Diva]

*phew* Chicago is back online. Repeat, Chicago is back online.

[homeybeef]

That storm watch was the most exciting thing of the night.