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April 12, 2010

24

Here is where we stand:

We honestly have no idea. Last week the plot collapsed like a lawn chair under a Harley owner. Consider:

-- We no longer have to worry about the dirty bomb made from the Lethal Atomic Rods of Doom, because the terrorists traded it for President Sham.

-- We no longer have to worry about President Sham, because the terrorists sentenced him to Death by Webcast.

-- And we no longer have to worry about Agent Dana Walsh, because CTU finally figured out that she's a mole, possibly because she devoted her entire working day to killing people and making phone calls to terrorists.

-- Finally, we don't have to worry about Edgar, because he is still dead.

So as far as we can tell, the only thing left to worry about is the Peace Process, which is a big deal to President Woman President, but which we frankly do not care about. We prefer the Violence Process, wherein Jack Bauer, having overcome numerous fatal wounds, engages hostiles by shooting them and/or impaling them with screwdrivers.

The question is, which hostiles are next on the agenda? We're thinking it's the Russians, who popped up briefly last week. Also disgraced former President Handbag Logan apparently is going to make an appearance this week, although we have no idea why. Maybe tonight's episode will clear things up. Although we doubt it. Be sure to stick around in the comments afterward for keen observations by The Amazing Steve. Meanwhile, here's a scientific poll:

Where do you think the plot will go next?
The Russians will be the hostiles.
I hope they bring back Marwan. He was a GREAT hostile.
If they bring back the Chinese subplot, I will kill myself.
Maybe New York will be attacked by that really, really slow missile from several seasons ago.
WHAT plot?
Montpelier.
  
pollcode.com free polls


UPDATE: Is there ANYBODY who's not working for the terrorists?

UPDATE: Never trust a bald Russian.

UPDATE: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

UPDATE: "What is it that you wish to talk to me about?" Who writes this stuff?

UPDATE: This here is some Mel O'Drama.

UPDATE: So... President Sham's widow can just decide she's running the country now? Democracy!

UPDATE: CHLOE IS IN CHARGE!! GET OUT THE TASERS, BABY!!!

UPDATE: They are so high over the shark now that they can't even SEE the shark.

UPDATE: Does Hastings know he still has that idiot Bluetooth thing in his ear?

UPDATE: I can't believe Jack was able to execute a kiss without first downloading the schematics.

UPDATE: Jack apparently is not suffering too much from his stab and bullet wounds.

UPDATE: Was that SEX???

UPDATE: OK, can ANYBODY explain why we care so much about the Peace Process? No? I didn't think so.

UPDATE: I think they should go back to the Sex Process.

UPDATE: "...what an honor it has been to serve with each and every one of you. Even the 17 of you who are moles."

UPDATE: Get the jumper cables!

UPDATE: They need a bigger table.

UPDATE: Hey, if you can't trust a lying criminal scumball who won't tell you what he plans to do, who can you trust?

UPDATE: Jack and Renee shot each other several times in intimate places.

UPDATE: I've had NYC cab drivers like that.

UPDATE: Aw.

UPDATE: It seems like only yesterday that Renee was young and vibrant and cutting off that guy's thumb.

UPDATE: Jack vs. Dana. Hot. Take it, The Amazing Steve.

Comments

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Signing in early.

Hi everyone!

Alas, I must work next Monday so I'll miss you all.

Plot? What plot --- we don't need to stinkin' plot, just Jack wrecking havoc. (would like a few thigh shots for old times' sake).

"Last week the plot collapsed like a lawn chair under a Harley rider."

Ouch!

Ready to go! See you about an hour (more or less) after the show ends!

Plot?? Now that's funny, Dave.

And double dang you for that BM linkage!

Not looking forward to what the producer called a "transition episode" in this week's sneak peek on my Sprint cell phone. Hope I'm wrong, but I fear this means a lot of the Wooden Dialogue Generator tonight...

[Victor Drazen accent on]

"Plot? Vat is zis thing you call plot? Ve no need plot. Plot eases suffering, und you must suffer as I haff suffered..."

[Victor Drazen accent off]

Checking in for

THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!

DADADADAAAAAA DADADADADAAAAA DADADADAAAAAA DADADADADADA DAAAA DADADAAAAAAAAA DAAADAAAADAAAADAAADAAADAAADAAAAAAAAAAA

Not to be negative or anything, but remember a couple seasons back, when it looked like they were all wrapped up with about 8 hours still to go? Remember what they did?

They brought back Audrey.

Just sayin'.

I'm already here under a nom de plume.

@ Ford

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWaLxFIVX1s

The way these jokers are going Freckles will become Awwwdrey and Kim will become Kim again.

I am Sham.
No, Sham I was:
Was, not Am,
I'm dead, because
I would not let them touch my hair -
'No! Don't touch it Anywhere!
Take my wife (please) & daughter, too,
But Never EVER TOUCH the DO!
Your hair-brained plan is not my style.
Jack will be here in a while,
He'll brush you off, You will see!
There's Nothing you can do to me!

Or so I thought,
but now I'm dead...
"If you take my hair you'll have to take my head"
is something I never should have said....
My hairried life came to an end,
& they would not let me 'phone-a-friend'.

Hey everyone!

I'm still waiting for Starbuck to pull out the 'Hey, I got your Spawn and GrandSpawn' card.

So what or who's the next MacGuffin?

Hi, Cassie.

They will take the rods to the mot secure place in NY, CTU. Starbuck will steal them, escape the perimeter around the ladies room and sell them back to the Russkies.

Hiya Mitch.

Maybe the Chinese are all behind this. ;-)

I miss Marwan like Diva.

BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
Why would a man leave his apartment three times on a rainy night with a suitcase and come back three times?
BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
Intelligence. Nothing has caused the human race so much trouble as intelligence.
BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
Look, Miss Fremont, that feminine intuition stuff sells magazines, but in real life it's still a fairy tale. I don't know how many times I chased down leads based on women's intuition.
BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
Because everything this fellow's done has been suspicious: trips at night in the rain, knifes, saws, trunks with rope, and now this wife that isn't there anymore.

*Elvis' rendition of "Silver Bells" begins playing*

RUN AWAY! GET AWAY!
It's bombing time, New York City.
Tick-a-tock, hear that clock?
Soon it will be irrad day!

Silly Potters, stupid otters
Chasing red herrings all day
In the air there's a feeling of panic...
CTU moles, perimeter holes
Causing death after death
And near every street corner you'll hear...

RUN AWAY! GET AWAY!
It's bombing time, New York City.
Tick-a-tock, hear that clock?
Soon it will be irrad day!

Box of nuke rods, silly cops plod
Through Central Park, SoHo
As the traitors plot more with their mastery
Hear the bones crunch, see Jack kill'a'bunch
This is Bauer's big scene
And despite all this hustle you'll hear...

RUN AWAY! GET AWAY!
It's bombing time, New York City.
Tick-a-tock, hear that clock?
Soon it will be irrad day!
Soon it will be irrad day!

JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BOWAH POWAH OWAH!
J A C K B A U E R P O W E R H O U R !

Brought to you by: JackSack™ ("JackSack™'s pays homage to L. B. 'Jeff' Jefferies and Lisa Carol Fremont, the start of CTU!") and ChloeSack™ ("ChloeSack™ would play Lisa to JackSack™'s Jeff...and FreckleSack could be the wife of the mysterious neighbor!")

LET'S GET READY TO ROOOOOOOOOOOOOMBLE!

This season's "24" intros are brought to you in memory of my dear friend Michael "Sparky" Bushaw, who passed away the day after this past Christmas. Sparky, my fraternity big brother, best man at my wedding and best friend for the last 20 years, was the one person with whom I watched "24" when it originally premiered on Fox. Always a fan of the show, I believe it fitting to dedicate this season in his memory. Rest in peace, brother...I miss you!

And here we go

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I'm here and cannot make a comment about the Manilow picture since I did the same earlier. Dave hides them well.

Oh, BLEEP you.

Woo hoo! I'm here! Viewer intoxication is advised.

I miss Marwan too.

Prepare the Internet Feed.

Is that anything like intravenus?

Excellent as always, Andy!!

Jeff: YES!!!

Madame President, not understanding as always.

*waves @ ev'body*

Amazing. President Sham's killers actually managed to muss his hairdo.

I was beginning to think Sham's haircut was almost as indestructible as Jack...

Omar died for his country. Unfortunately his country doesn't exist.

IRK is without a leader!

I still say Urkel is the man.

I'm thinking CTU medical is not whre you want to go as a wounded terrorist.

Don't they know that anyone on the way to CTU Medical will always become a Redshirt?

rockin01, I start drinking before the introduction that way I can stay ahead of the curve.

All this soft music had me switching the channel. Thought I had Lifetime on by mistake.

The EMT is a mole.

Surprise, surprise

Frrrrreckles!

You know what I really hate? I hate it when you have strangers randomly injecting people with things. That's really annoying.

RODS!

Jack asks the question we all are, "why?"

And yet ANOTHER mole...

Why does EVERY mole and double agent on this show practically have I'M A MOLE tatooed on their foreheads? They always pick the most suspicious looking people in the room.

Everybody's dead or in custody?

I TOLD you guys they were gonna knock off early this season.

"The EMTs say he'll make it."

Well, depends on whatever was in that syringe...

So...Samir isn't the big man after all.

Again, surprise surprise

And Jack, quit that damn whispering!

Whose not a mole?

"They can debrief later, we have to go knock-boots."

STOP THE MUSIC!!! I'm going insane!!!

Everyone wants to debrief Jack and Renee, no?

That would be "who's."

"President Hassan was undew twemendous stwess..."

Who the HELL is the Russian accent coach?

I get it -- we are transitioning from wild hairdos to balding characters.

I don't think there is one.

Don't listen to him. He's probably a mole!!!

Bad Russian accent alert, yet again.

Freckles is in trouble.

Low budget episode; they couldn't afford better volume...everyone was told to whisper to save on costs...

Is that the guy from Dog Day Afternoon talking to madame woman President?

Oh come on! A wac-a-mole game has less moles then this show!

*cue bad accent ap*

And homey - they're less obvious.

Yeah. Taking out Bauer = bad idea.

Sooooo....what are we going to have this episode- Bad Accent Hour?

"I'll take out Bauer too."

Bwahahahahahahahaha!

Good one, dude.

Even Russian Diplomat guy knows that is a no no.

Jack is going to setup a perimeter around Victoria's Secret.

SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE. Someone wake me in time for the next commercial.

So when are they going to look for humped backed people or nuclear wessels?

Continue to follow them and keep them i sight. Call me if they lose their briefs.

Oh boy, we're better than civilians.

I miss the rods.

New Castle tonight.

Vere are Moose and Squirrel?

Ah, c'mon you two. At least smooch a little in the taxi!

There they are, Jeff.

I'm watching an ad for Nightmare On Elm Street 2,094,564. Is there no end to that franchise?

He already has paid dearly, Madame Pres.

Ms. Woman Prez will ask Ms. Hasan to change out of that blue ensemble.

I don't know why Omar's daughter ever bothers going into a room. They always make her leave.

Shamwow's daughter already forgotton her night of passion ?

Odd. Kayla was just kissing David Spade in front of Trump Tower 20 minutes ago. On CBS, the little hussy!

That's it, Mitch. Freddy Kreuger is the mole.

This is what this show has been lacking this season, presidential drama.

Now 2 President Ladies?

Oh good....Turdistan internal politics!

Wow. Didn't see that coming. /sarcasm

Gosh, Madame President is in just about as desperate need of an ego-boosting peace treaty as the actual current US President.

She only gave President Sham's wife five minutes to mourn before demanding she sign the treaty in Sham's place.

Riiight. A woman running an Islamic nation. Worked well in Pakistan.

"Someone get me a DVD of "Evita" for Ms. Hasan, now!"

Is it too early to miss the tubes of doom?

Didn't madam Pres have a makeout scene with Brooke Shields ? Plot enhancement ????

Madam Hassan as President of IRK?

What Islamic country has a woman President? Does what happened to Benazir Bhutto ring a bell?

Oooooooh. A reference to Steven Keaton!

Another President Woman President!! Let's hear it for the girls!!!!

Aw geez, somebody, anybody shoot somebody!

And thus the Revlon Accord was solidified.

High 5's Loudmouth.

GMTA

Jack & Renee went to his apartment for a quickie.

That is exactly what she wanted! To have her husband killed and to become the leader of IRK!

Who writes that stuff, Dave? I'm thinking they've upgraded the WDG. It now runs on an old Atari.

Maybe there's a leftover Whitehouse frogperson for some indiscriminate violence.

"Our only concern is whether CTU can handle security."

HA! Finally!

Of course CTU can handle security...when have they EVER goofed up security???

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