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March 17, 2010

PROBABLY NOT THE BEST WAY TO DELIVER VEGETABLES

In a box labeled "Bomb!" with a drawing of a bomb.

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

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just when you think you've heard about the stupidest person in the world... this shows up. duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh

I dunno. If I saw a box labelled "BOMB" and a drawing of a bomb, the last thing I'd expect would be to find a bomb inside.

Did it also say ACME?

The perfect way to deliver brussels sprouts.

Did the box contain a can of beans?

BRILLIANT!

"What kind of bomb was it?"

"The unamusing kind."


A beumb???

People have no sense of humor anymore.

*removes radiological hazard stickers from donut box in breakroom*

*Waves @ Siouxie Clouseau!!!*

*WAVES @ Hammie!!!*

For you!

I guess you can't be too careful these days but really.... What was this woman thinking? It's a good thing she didn't write 'Boom' on the box.

The bomb squad in Canon City, CO, blew up a box of leaflets from a marijuana dispensary after the neighboring bank called it in as a suspicious package.

I'm sure that there are some disappointed hippies today.

I documented the demolition of 5 gallons of Soy sauce by EOD after we received a suspicious pkg in our Supply receiving department. It was beautiful.

*removes radiological hazard stickers from THE BOTTOM OF THE donut box in breakroom*

Expect a lot of "booms!" in Cannon City.

Meanwhile, Talbott and her husband had finished dinner and were driving back down Plumas when they saw the police cars.

"I said, 'Oh no ... you don't suppose ...?'" said Talbott.

Yes, I do... o_O

She got up her nerve and apologized to residents who were still waiting in a courtyard.

"They were grumpy and wanting to go back in," Talbott said.

The residents asked not to be identified. When they learned about the misunderstanding, they interpreted it as a joke.

"For crying out loud," said one. "It's not funny," said another.

We missed Walker, Texas Ranger, dad gummit!

Did it have a Mets logo on it?

As a child growing up I considered vegetables to be hazardous materials and would have called for a HAZ MAT team if I had known the number.....

and if she saw a CTU agent at an airport ,she'd say 'Hi, Jack!'

When the hell did "bomb stuff" become a euphemism for good vegetables?

If she had caused any delay in bingo or, God forbid, cancellation of bingo, the residents would have killed her. I've been run over by wheelchairs by some of them going to bingo. They wanted to get the good cards.

Patty was sitting at the bar, pouring down the Jameson's and Guiness, sobbing uncontollably. After a few hours of this, Mike the bartender approached him and asked,

"Patty, what's ailin' ya? Sure, ya been sittin' here all afternoon drinkin' and wailin' like a wee baby."

"Oh, Mike, you'll never believe it but me poor sainted mother back in the Old Sod died this marnin'. It's just about the worst ting the Lard ever done to me. I'll never get over it."

Mike decided to leave him to his misery and served him up another Guiness and a whack of the hose, allowing the poor bugger to get as knockerd as he liked. A few minutes later the phone rang and it was for Patty. After he hung up, he wailed and wailed louder than before.

Mike asked him, "Jayzus, Patty, what's wrong now?"

"Oh, Mike, just when I tought dat tings couldn't get any worse, that was me brother that called. His mother died this marnin' too."

*SMACKS* O'Layzee with a sheleighly for breaking the blog!

Tsk, tsk...

Woops...a thousand pardons.

It would have been worse if the package would have been identified as VHS tapes of Ishtar.

At least I hope Ishtar hasn't come out on DVD.

Good one O'Layzeeboy. Judi will fix the blog I'm sure.

Great. Now all the terrorists will leave boxes of bombs labeled " vegetables " lying about and no one will pay any attention.

Good one, O'Layzeeboy!

Hazardous vegetables are nothing new.

Sister Mary Catherine walks into Mick McCarthy's liquor store and asks him for a fifth of Jameson's Irish Whiskey.

"Now, Sister Mary Catherine, ya know I cain't be sellin' ya none of the whiskey now. What would the Mother Superior say?"

"It's for the Mother Superior, Mick. It'll help her with her constipation."

"Well why didn't ya say so! Here. You give this Jameson's ta the Mother Superior with my compliments."

A few hours later, Mick closes up shop and is walking home, and there's Sister Mary Catherine, drunk as a lord, sitting on the curb, singing Irish ballads.

"Aw, Sister Mary Catherine. Ya tole me the whiskey was for the Mother Superior's constipation."

"And so it tis, Mick. So it tis. When the Mother Superior sees me, she's gonna sh*t!"

One night in the pub, Patrick O'Malley hoisted his beer and said: "Here's to spending the rest of me life right in between the legs of me wife!" - and he took home the top prize for the best toast of the night.

In bed later that night, he told his wife: "Mary, you'd be proud of me. I won the prize for the best toast of the night."

She said, "Aye, Paddy, what was your toast?"

So he told her: "Here's to spending the rest of me life sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh," she said, "that is very nice, dear."

The next day, Mary ran into one of Paddy's drinking mates in the street. Mischievously, the man said: "Did you hear about your husband winning a prize in the pub last night for a toast about you, Mary?"

She replied: "Aye - and I was a bit surprised. Till now, he's only been down there twice. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come".

You gave me the best laugh of the day O'Layzeeboy. Thank you!

And very entertainin ye all be.

O'Lazeeboy, that's good! I heard one similar to that where a pastor was going to talk about s e x in church. But his wife suggested he talk about sailing instead. Since she was sick that day, he talked about what he wanted to. And later someone told her what a good job he did. She said something like, "He only tried it twice, and he got sick both times!"

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