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March 17, 2010

OH, LIGHTEN UP

(Thanks to Ron Gibb)

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a real laff riot.

But does it work?

I've got one of those but the wife keeps stealing the batteries for her BOB.

Exactly, Dave. Where's that famous Aussie sense of humo[u]r?

Along with Santa and the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, another myth blown all to hell.

So, is there a "Lighten Up" button?...

Those things break pretty easily. A stiletto heel thru the "power" button usually does it.

Speaking from experience are we Annie? :-)

*Presses SMACK DISABLE button*

Annie, a kickass boot up the wazoo does the trick as well.

I got my wife one of those little "Ideal Man" toys that says phrases like, "I'll cook dinner tonight!" and "Honey, here's the remote, you decide what we watch." She loved it, kept playing it over and over...

Unfortunately, it mysteriously fell into the garbage disposal two days later. Voice box first.

I don't mind getting on my knees for a woman . . . as long as she's on her elbows.

Do they also sell these?

(Link courtesy Megan at The Atlantic.)

That Katie Robertson mentioned in the article sounds like a real fun girl. I wonder if she's single?

Dog help us if she'd double.

Key quote - "She also said the chain sells a "control a man" remote, which has sold out."

And the United Nations did NOTHING about that!

I don't believe that any woman more evolved than a blow-up companion can, or should, be "controlled". Self-control, on the other hand, is important.
Back in the sixties, I had a girlfriend who would suddenly get mad at some slip she thought I had made. She would then slap me sideways. (This was before abuse was a well-known term). I never hit her back.
Sometimes, I got the feeling that she wanted me to slap her back and try to control her because she would get mad that I wasn't angry. But even then I didn't think that was healthy.
I got tired of that crap and left her.

padraig, I have one of those ideal man dolls. I love it! Funny you didn't see any men at that store complaining about the 'Control A Man' remote.

so sad... women like that give us a bad name! stupid b****.

Katie Robinson probably wears this T-shirt.

♫ How to handle a woman,
There’s a way said a wise old man,
A way known by every woman,
Since the whole rigmarole began!
Do I flatter her, I begged him answer,
Do I threaten or cajole or plea,
Do I brood or play the gay romancer?
Said he, smiling, "No, indeed!"
"How to handle a woman,
Mark me well, I will tell you sir!
The way to handle a woman,
Is to love her, simply love her,
Merely love her, love her, Love her!" ♬

*snork* @ judi o'prig

As if there were not already too many ways to push a woman's buttons.

The control-a-man sold out but the control-a-woman one didn't because we men know that it would be an exercise in futility. There's no way to control a woman.

Nice Allen! I didn't know you were a 'gay romancer' however. NTTAWWT.

I thought I had arrived after being credited with sharing this story. But my girlfriend Katie just reminded me that SHE was the one who sent it to me and should therefore receive the credit. I can't decide which button is most relevant, but it is safe to say my remote is broken. :P

Which button keeps my VCR from blinking " 12:00 " all the time ? That's all I care about.

Clankazoid, that would be the buttons on your phone which will call your local cable or satellite provider so you can order their DVR service.

Great, Ralph...now you're going to get PETA involved.

I want the "Control A Woman" shock collar. Not too cranked, eh.

Loudmouth! What would your Mrs. say if she knew you were writing stuff like that? I'm shocked! Well, not literally but, you know, figuratively.
Oh yeah. *SMACK* and you are sooooo lucky that Siouxie isn't here right now.

Ahhh. Siouxie would just want a Control-A-Man shock collar.

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