Here is where we stand:
Last week, while Marcos was trying to activate the World's Safest Suicide Vest, Jack persuaded him to talk by threatening to turn his mom into a human Hot Pocket. Shortly before being concerted to small terrorist particles Marcos revealed that President Sham's daughter Kayla's boyfriend Tarin is in on the plot to bring the Lethal Atomic Rods of Doom into Manhattan. CTU knows what hotel Tarin and Kayla are in and has ordered a perimeter to be set up around it, so we can safely assume that Tarin will escape.
The Kevin subplot, which we thought was dead and buried in the swamp, has reappeared in the form of Kevin's parole agent, who called Agent Dana Walsh and said he wants to talk to her, which she agreed to do because otherwise she would have to go back to her actual job of countering terrorism, which she has spent perhaps three minutes on since the season began.
Edgar is still dead.
Stay tuned in the comments after the show to watch The Amazing Steve somehow make sense of what happened. Meanwhile, here's a scientific poll:
UPDATE:A Twist That Will Change Everything!
UPDATE: They're talking about getting to a hotel in midtown Manhattan as if it's Madagascar.
UPDATE: A really shrewd woman would sit on the toilet at this point, and Tarin would be HELPLESS.
UPDATE: They should have some kind of ceremony to observe the 5,000th failed "24" perimeter.
UPDATE: Jack needs a Kidnap and an Electronic Intercept Package. As do we all, from time to time.
UPDATE: Wait... now we need FOUR Gs? I don't even know what "G" is, and now I need FOUR.
UPDATE: I think agent Walsh should just shoot this guy in the head and end this subplot NOW.
UPDATE: Agent Walsh is thinking: Oh what a tangled web we weave, etc. Assuming she is capable of thought.
UPDATE: Why the blindfold? Seriously. Why?
UPDATE: This is a total violation of the Consumer Product Safety Code for plastic bags.
UPDATE: Hastings, with one second of examination, is able to identify the contents of File 33.
UPDATE: I personally cannot wait for the Twist That Will Change Everything!
UPDATE: This is the World's Most Diligent Probation Officer.
UPDATE: "I need you to keep your head in this." Heheheheh.
UPDATE: You go, Kayla.
UPDATE: Not to be nitpicky, but this episode has so far involved very little of Jack doing anything except talk excitedly into the phone.
UPDATE: Chloe immediately found the abandoned bank vault. Of course.
UPDATE: "Dammit we're blind." The Plot Twist! They took out CTU! Which actually doesn't seem like such a bad thing.
Take it, The Amazing Steve.