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March 01, 2010

24

Here is where we stand:

Last week Generic Islamic Republic President Sham's treacherous brother Farhad delivered the Lethal Atomic Rods of Doom (LARDs) to a guy named Ali, who told Farhad that he plans to turn them into a dirty bomb. Farhad pretended to be all for this but then fled into the dense jungle wilderness of Queens, where – displaying a complete disregard for his own safety -- he called CTU to come rescue him.

Meanwhile a Justice Department lawyer named Miss Smith, acting on the orders of mandatory White House scumweasel character Rob Weiss, tried to get Renee to take the fall for CTU's continuing inability to successfully execute any operation more complex than adjusting the thermostat. This displeased Jack, who tried to free Renee by calmly reasoning with Miss Smith while pinning her to the wall by her neck. But then Jack got tasered and, for the 2,038th time, taken into CTU custody. He got himself and Renee released by agreeing to head the effort to locate Farhad and the LARDs, which would be a good name for a rock band.

In subplot action:

Highly qualified but increasingly annoying Agent Dana Walsh went to another remote forest location in New York to shoot her ex-boyfriend Kevin in his trailer, but was prevented from doing so by Agent Freddie Prinze Jr., who intended to take her away but wound up shooting Kevin's sidekick Nick to death after Nick stabbed Kevin in the stomach (not fatally, unfortunately) which caused Dana to indicate that she still Has Feelings for Nick by cradling him in her arms, no doubt causing Agent Prinze to consider shooting her, which at this point would probably not overly distress the viewing audience.

Neither President Woman President nor President Sham showed up in last week's episode. We don't know what they're doing, and we don't want to know

Edgar is still dead.

Be advised that I'm meeting Mrs. Blog's flight tonight and will not be joining you. But you have each other, down there in the comments section, and of course The Amazing Steve will be on hand at the conclusion to weave his special magic.

Meanwhile, here's a poll:

What the heck ARE President Woman President and President Sham doing?
Firing their agents.
She's showing him the secret underwater frogperson entrance to the White House.
It.
Montpelier.
  
pollcode.com free polls

Comments

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I have important info to impart:

Edgar has been spotted alive and well and moonlighting on the NBC show "Chuck." Someone should alert Jack. Also Chloe.

ACKKK! WARNING: BM link. Click at your own risk.

*stabs eyeballs*

Edgar's on Chuck?! Hooray!

I met him at a convention a couple years ago, he's a really nice guy.

OMG! Edgar's playing a mobster on "Chuck"...

Have you paid no attention to Dave over the past 4 years? Sure a guy who looks like Edgar may be on Chuck, but Edgar is DEAD!

That is most certainly not Queens. I'd know the Bronx anywhere.

I need some escape from this cruel world even if it does put me to sleep.

Sad news: Edgar is dead.

Again.

Present.

For what it's worth, I voted for "it" in the poll. The way she's bending over, erm, backwards for this peace deal, she clearly wants to have President Sham's future babies.

And with Sham on the verge of a divorce and his daughter on the verge of an honor killing, Sham might well take her up on it...

Ready to go! See ya after the show!

I'm here! Viewer intoxication is advised...

Cuddy hurt James' friend?

It keeps getting better cause it can't get worse

BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
Don Corleone, I am honored and grateful that you have invited me to your daughter... 's wedding... on the day of your daughter's wedding. And I hope their first child be a masculine child. I pledge my ever-ending loyalty.
BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.
BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
I'm gonna make him an offer he won't refuse.
BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
It's not personal, Sonny. It's strictly business.

*Insert Gershwin's "Rhapsody in Blue" here*

(No, this is not a United Airlines commercial...)

JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BOWAH POWAH OWAH!
J A C K B A U E R P O W E R H O U R !

Brought to you by: JackSack™ ("JackSack™'s about to make an offer to FreckleSack™ that she can't refuse...") and ChloeSack™ ("ChloeSack™ just wants to scream at JackSack™, 'WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!?!'.")

LET'S GET READY TO ROOOOOOOOOOOOOMBLE!

This season's "24" intros are brought to you in memory of my dear friend Michael "Sparky" Bushaw, who passed away the day after this past Christmas. Sparky, my fraternity big brother, best man at my wedding and best friend for the last 20 years, was the one person with whom I watched "24" when it originally premiered on Fox. Always a fan of the show, I believe it fitting to dedicate this season in his memory. Rest in peace, brother...I miss you!

Recap from last week: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

He meant House, dances.

(I, in no way, phoned it in tonight...)

Yay. Sexual Situations Discretion Is Advised!

24 keeps getting better -- One less hour, coming up!

ah-hem...the rods.

"Next - see why 24 just keeps getting better."

Bwaqhahahahahahahahaha!!!

No really. And Dave, enough with Manilow.

nice start, tropic. :)

Yeah, Sioux, but Greg can be, well, a tool sometimes, y'know?

Hi everyone //waving. Entertain me. Please.

Bad news, Siouxie - no Castle tonight.

Dave, I'm leaving you OFF my Christmas card list. ><

whisper whisper whisper

They only have 2 minutes and they're TALKING? That would have been more than enough time for Vladimir.

House dances? And Greg has a tool? Sheesh. What a way to start the evening!

Bad accent alert!

Mare Winningham? If she does a Russian or Middle Eastern accent, I'm out of here.

He's dead, Jim.

We'll do our best, Jenn!

Cole, just shoot her and be done with it.

"Cole, he's dead"

oh if only this subplot were so lucky.

Wow. She's owning her behavior? So that means FPJ is gonna cover up.

Oh, snap. I'm SO right.

"We're cleaning this up and no one will know what's happened."

Famous last words, Freddy...

Agent Freddie Prinze, Jr. is going rogue.

"What's done is done."

We'll put the bodies in the swamp."

The swamp? Where in New York is a freaking swamp?

What do we know?

Prez, I've been asking you all that for ages.

Oh, yeah. House. Dance. We're talking The KLF. Time to JAM!

Secaucus Jeff. Close enough.

"He's in a warehouse, near the swamp, in Queens."

Is this happening or is it the hash?

Can no one on this show pronounce Farhad's name?

Jeff, it's next to the 2,038th warehouse "just outside the city." Just like in LA.

Council chamber = presidential toilet

Jeff, the swamp is in the jungle there in Queens. You must have missed it.

The CTU has the WDG and now they want access to IRK?!

*snork* @ Cheese!

Covert assets from the IRK?

Don't IRK them...they may get dirty!

I'm waiting for the leader, Captain Irk, to appear now.

Once he's done doing Priceline commercials.

Hastings grows a pair!

Wow. Finally Hastings grew a pair.

Alright, Hastings grew a pair.

Hastings just grew a pair.

Wow. And here I thought Hastings was just a pre-op tranny.

Wow, Weiss is so mad he's slapping the doorjam!

Buh bye, Farwad.

It's unanimous: Hastings finally grew a pair.

President Sham!

Hastings probably only grew one. Just wait until Farad gets killed.

dances, "slapping the doorjamb" WBAGNFAEuphemism....

Yes, the Kovert IRK...I tell you, we'll see Kirk yet!

Even Secaucus doesn't look like that!

Uhoh, Presidential rug alert.

Why is the President talking slowly like she's talking to a moron?

Never mind, I withdraw that.

Pronunciation, rockin? Like Fart-Wad?

President Sham has a "domestic situation." I tell ya, NO ONE can get good help anymore.

President Woman President needs to spank Sam the Sham.

Well, President Sham, it ought to be pretty simple: Turn over all your intelligence to help deal with the threat...or have your country erased from the map should the dirty bomb go off.

What's so hard to understand?

How many times does Madame President say 'as we speak' during any given episode?

Btw...what brand of hairspray do you use??

Is that your Final Answer, Madame Wooden President Woman?

I need those files, and I need them now.

And could you...throw in a shwarma and a diet Coke?

Twoina, I think she's doing that on the side.

He wants madame president. Did you see his look?

Pfft. The "Kevin" link isn't working.

Cheese, I feel a drinking game comin' on.

I don't hold any of this against you...so please don't mind me killing you...

"Just following orders," the Eichmann defense.

I thought he was Shamistanee. Why does he have a Russian accent?

Sham A Lam A Ding Dong.

At least these clowns appear to be in a city.

What'd he say? Something about giving CTU access?

Is Sham's daughter going to make it to the hotel or will she get attacked by a cougar?

Wow, a thrilling climax to the season!

Wait, there's more?! Getoutatown!

69.95 for unlimited texting....is this heaven or what ?

Sham's daughter is leaving the hotel. Alone? Without a bodyguard or even a chaperone even after SOMEBODY TRIED TO WHACK HER DAD?

In Saudi Arabia I think Sham's daughter would be stoned by now. And I don't mean THAT kind of stoned....

Dammit, I want a silent clock tonight!!

(um, oops. glad i previewed. i almost left the "l" outta "clock.")

How will they blame Renee for this one?

Buh-bye Farhad.

Bam-splat

Do not move until they lock down!

Darn, CTU is late again...and so is Farhad.

CTU: 2 seconds and 3 shots short..always...

Well...there goes Farhad...

So, that's five pair for Hastings. He's in much better shape now.

Ouch. Soul patch goes down like a sack of potatoes.

Do not move until they cover the last 5 minutes at the speed of light.

Farhad gonna DIE.

the rods

These guys look about as Arabic as Hastings.

The old tunnel trick is coming up....I can smell it.

That's COLD even for Jack!

Always with the rods, diva...

Hastings may have a pair or several but is he standing up straight yet?

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