FINAL OSCARS UPDATE

Here's the inside story.

Comments

[Not My Usual Alias]

I wish the monologue had more banjo duets.

[Siouxie]

I wanted more of Steve & Alec!

Did they actually use any of your jokes, Dave??? The Snuggies skit HAD to be your idea!

[queensbee]

i just read somewhere that the jokes were as old as when paul lynde wrote them. that cannot be true.

[twitter.com/JugglerOfGeese]

I have to say, I have not laughed so much at a the Oscars since Billy Crystal was a host. You guys did a great job Dave. OK, I lied, I laughed at Jon Stewart's monologue too, but not as much as this years.

[Steve Haller]

See, everybody gets all worked up about Obama's death panels, but no one cares about the joke death camp...

[Punkin]

Dave, I looked for you around the Governors' Ball.

Mr Schwartzenegger was not amused.

Thanks for the Behind-The-Scenes peek, Dave. We lowly bloglits feel like we were there with you.
Very tiny, and riding awkwardly in your pants pocket - getting tissue fuzz and Altoid dust on us - but with you nevertheless.

[Punkin]

Steve, we care...it's just too painful to talk about.

[Steve (The 24 Guy)]

Excellent piece. I loved reading about the first time Dave was one of the writers for the show, and loved this one too.

Would have liked a joke about Edgar though.

[Hammond Rye]

I thought it was very good except for the Farrah thing. Tacky decision on someone's part

[Dad-O-Lot]

I guess I won't be able to read these columns anymore. I don't want to break my record for never having registered for a news website.

[Steve Haller]

What Hammie said...

And it would have been nice to see Edward Woodward and Zelda Rubinstein too. I'd rather watch "The Wicker Man" or "Poltergeist" than "The Wiz" any day...

[packsaddle]

I thought the show had all the elements of a formal ceremony recognizing the excellence of professionals in the film industry, but without the BBQ and beer.

[Amber]

I loved the "Jew Hunter" joke at the beginning.... "You've hit the mother lode!"

I mean, you have to have at least one Jewish joke at the Oscars... come on!

[bonmot]

Dave, did she winnie?

[nursecindy]

Dave is Mrs. Blog should ask you if SJP was thinner than her the correct answer is, " No! She's a cow compared to you!" I like the helium joke. Also I imagine there were people in the Greeen Room going, "OMG! It's Dave Barry!" I know I would have said that.

[Horace LaBadie]

And yet when an ordinary person tweaks his monologue in public, they call the police.

[Siouxie]

Amber, that was my favorite joke. I literally *snorked* at that one.

[Steve]

This is funny because if I ever actually met Dave, all I'd be able to do is squeak like a tiny mouse or a caught Republican.

[Richard the Weasel-Hearted]

I'm getting a 404 on the link, alas.

Dad-O-Lot, you may find this site helpful.

[judi the prig]

it's fixed now, richard :)

[nursecindy]

Dave, if Mr. Steve Martin is still editing the monologue tell him the Snuggie shot was wonderful but has he thought about having Roger between them on the sofa also in a Snuggie? It will drive him crazy.

[nursecindy]

Steve, I feel the same way. Dave would probably look at me and start thinking of a telethon that could help me. I would be a speechless mess.

[Richard the Weasel-Hearted]

Sho' 'nuff. Thanks, Judi.

[azred]

many years ago, I was at a free USO concert at lovely Rhein Main Air Base, featuring Loretta Lynn. after observing me mouth every lyric as she sang, she turned to me and asked if I had any requests. I promptly turned into a blushing, drooling idiot and replied..... "uh, uh, uh, uh." so "when" (if) I ever meet his dave-ness, I already know how I'll react! I've seen the future, and it ain't pretty.

[Clankazoid]

Gaseous element jokes aren't getting the laughs this year anyway.

[Meanie the Blue]

I thought Lucy did an exellent job.

(Actually, I missed the show, but the column was great. I knew there would be one coming.)

Hasta la vista, Punkin.

[Siouxie]

cindy, meeting Dave was nothing. I started *squeaking* when I met Meanie.

[nursecindy]

I hear a lot of women scream when they first meet Meanie, Siouxie.

[Siouxie]

Well...it was hot and my feets were sweating so my shoes were squeaking...but yeah..Meanie's a scream! I mean..I'd scream for Meanie. Or at him, anyways.

[Renee (the First)]

Good job as always, Dave!

However, as a woman, I reserve the right to state that I would rather gargle with Drano than have Alec Baldwin so much as glance in my direction. Now Steve, on the other hand . . .

[Punkin]

Y'all won't squeak when you meet Dave. He makes you feel instantly at ease.

Well, as at ease as one can be just having wet themselves.

[Kristina L.]

Alec used to be kind of cute. Remember "The Shadow"? What happened?

[Meanie the Blue]

Hey, even my mom screamed when we first met....

[Kristina L.]

Maybe the jokes in the joke death camp could be taken out and put into the blog?

Great column!

[Omaha Bridget]

I was there when Dave ate the chicken in the green room. Actually, it was chicken salad in little cone. And yes, he raised his pinky.

[nursecindy]

Omaha Bridget, were Penelope Cruz and Julia Roberts all over him? Inquiring minds want to know.

[Tash]

I LOVED the helium joke!

And *snork* at monologue tweaking.

[Tash]

And, Alec Baldwin can do anything he wants in my general direction... or specific direction... just about...

[Siouxie]

Seriously not crazy about Alec ...but I LOVE LOVE LOVE Steve Martin. I'd squeal like a caught Democrat if I ever met him ;-P

[nursecindy]

I absolutely agree Siouxie. Nothing would make me happier than to see Steve Martin sing 'King Tut'. That always makes me smile. As for meeting Dave, I will take appropriate precautions so as not to embarrass myself. I may even wear my new 24 t-shirt that I got free for buying season one of 24. I bought it for the shirt. It has CTU on the front and 24 on the sleeves. I hope he is not too jealous that I have this shirt.

[Mot The Hoople]

Overall the show was great but I really found the clapping of Steve and Alec so close to their pick-up microphones to be very jarring and detracting.

[Punkin]

Dave, Please help Mot and tell Steve & Alec to have their arms lengthened immediately. ;)

[Siouxie]

BTW, there are new photos of Dave behind the scenes with Steve, Alec and the writers. He's all dressed up in a tux. Doesn't look half bad, either ;P

[Siouxie]

Oh yeah...you have to click on the other headline on the right - Dave Barry's Oscar Experience.

[NotSoShyJan]

Yay, we got a column! Thanks, Dave.