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March 08, 2010

24

Here is where we stand:

I missed last week, but from what I gather President Sham's evil brother Farhad was killed at least twice and is now completely dead, as far as we know. He was killed the second time by a terrorist named Marcos, who has locked himself into a room at a hospital, where he intends to detonate his vest bomb before Jack can use his reasoning skills to persuade him to reveal the location of the Lethal Atomic Rods of Doom.

Meanwhile in subplot action:

-- Crack CTU anti-terrorism agents Dana Walsh and Freddie Prinze Jr. were unavailable for countering terrorism last week because they were busy sinking the bodies of Kevin and Nick in one of New York City's many vast trackless swamps. It is not clear whether the two agents will remain An Item. It is clear that this subplot is challenging Audrey for the title of Worst Subplot Ever.

-- President Sham's daughter Kayla is doing It with Tarin.

-- Edgar is still dead.

I intend to watch tonight, but because of being up late last night and traveling back to Miami today and generally not sleeping I have essentially the same level of brain function as a turnip. So my comments, if any, will be even more random than usual. But as always we'll all be relying on The Amazing Steve to explain the plot in the comments after the show.

Meanwhile, here's a poll:

Should agents Prinze and Walsh get back together?
No.
Yes, but not on this show.
Yes, but only if it involves Agent Walsh taking a shower.
I don't care. What I want to know is: Why is Chloe dressed as a cocktail waitress?
Speaking of which: Remember when Chloe tasered the guy in the bar? That was the BEST.
Montpelier.
  
pollcode.com free polls


UPDATE: Don't you HATE it when you want to talk to somebody about your relationship, and they're all, "Not NOW! We're in the middle of a radiological threat!"?

UPDATE: Hastings is one to talk about salvaging careers.

UPDATE: Wait... don't the rods kill you when you get exposed to them? I am SO confused.

UPDATE: "Son, if you don't let us treat that bloody nose, you could bleed to death before you get a chance to blow yourself to pieces."

UPDATE: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

UPDATE: You'd think suicide vests would be designed to make it less difficult to, you know, commit suicide.

UPDATE: THE KEVIN SUBPLOT WILL NEVER DIE.

UPDATE: Do we think they're going to milk the vest for an entire episode? Do we think "milk the vest" sounds obscene?

UPDATE: Whoa. Jack. Playing the Mom Card.

UPDATE: Jack knows the circuit pattern!

UPDATE: OK, he didn't know it all that well.

UPDATE: WHEN will they stop setting up perimeters? WHEN???

UPDATE: OK, this episode was about a 9.9 on the Lame-O-Meter.

NEXT WEEK: Incredibly, the perimeter apparently did not work.

Take it, The Amazing Steve.

Comments

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Ready to go! See yout after the show. I'll post something as soon as I'm done.

Your Freddie Prinze link made me LOL, Dave! Glad you had a good time at the Oscars. Care to share your swag? We all want to know what was in your gift bag.

Gaah! I've been Manilowed!

I can't join the blogging frenzy tonight. But don't worry, I had my perimeter drink early and will have more when I watch tomorrow. Promise! So I wish you all a fantastic and brilliantly written episode with no recycled plot, no wooden dialogues, some tight and gripping subplot action and that shower scene I voted for. A man can dream, can't he.

It's worse, Guin. I've been Audrey'd.

...forgot to say:
the rods

TONIGHT THE MAN SO NICE THEY NAMED HIM TWICE REFUSES TO LET THE DANA SUBPLOT DIE.

ALSO, I JUST REMEMBERED THAT IT'S CAPS LOCK MARCH. SO IT MAY SEEM THAT I'M SHOUTING A BIT BUT DON'T WORRY, I'M NOT MAD. (WELL MAYBE A BIT IF 24 DOESN'T GET BETTER).

Hi everyone!

I'm here! Viewer intoxication is advised...

BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
Hey Pete, here ya go. Two zeros on a trampoline with a side of Joan of Arc!
BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
WOMAN! WOMAN! WOMAN! WOMAN!
BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
Listen, I don't take my clothes off for anyone, even if it IS "artistic."
BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
I'm staying! You hear that, New York? THE FROG IS STAYING!

*The Rolling Stones "Shattered" begins playing*

Splattered, splattered
Legs and arms and hands and brains
Are all tarnishing New York streets
Look at me, I've been battered!
I'm all splattered
Splattered

Foes are so disarming
Dark Freckle's always charging
Life's just one perimeter for ten blocks
Big Apple
People dressed as CTU
Directing chaos
Some kind of end run
Splattered

Murder, soy, and otterness and techs and czechs and Becks and wrecks
Look at me, I've been battered
I'm all splattered
Splattered

All this bombing-chatter, bombing-chatter, bombing-chatter 'bout
nuke rods, nuke rods, nuke rods -- I can buy that many on 7th Avenue
This town's 'bout to be battered
Splattered, splattered
Shoot and stab for thighs and necks
Aren't you tellin' them, "Confess! Confess! CONFESS! CONFESS!"
Does it matter?
Splattered
Does it matter?
I'm splattered
Splattered

Ahhh, look at me, I'm all splattered
I'm all splattered
Look at me- I'm all splattered, yeah

Guns and ploys and greed and (cem)'tex
Are what makes this town the best
Guns and ploys and dirty schemes and still surviving on the street
And look at me, I've been battered, yeah
I've been battered, what does it matter
Does it matter, uh-huh
Does it matter, uh-huh, I'm all splattered

Don't you know the rad rate is going up, up, up, up, up
To live in this town you're gonna glow, glow, glow, glow, glow!
You gotta snitch on the West Side
Wired bugs uptown
What a mess this town's been battered
I've been splattered
My brain's been scattered, splattered all over Manhattan

Uh-huh, this town's full of nuke rod grabbers
Go ahead, bite the Big Apple, don't mind the half life, huh
Shadoobie, my brain's been scattered
My friends they come around like
Potter, otter, Potter, otter, Potter, otter, Potter!
Keep it up, put stabbed thigh on a platter...

JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BOWAH POWAH OWAH!
J A C K B A U E R P O W E R H O U R !

Brought to you by: JackSack™ ("JackSack™'s not in a Stones mood...") and ChloeSack™ ("ChloeSack™ wants FreckleSack™ to be splattered.")

LET'S GET READY TO ROOOOOOOOOOOOOMBLE!

This season's "24" intros are brought to you in memory of my dear friend Michael "Sparky" Bushaw, who passed away the day after this past Christmas. Sparky, my fraternity big brother, best man at my wedding and best friend for the last 20 years, was the one person with whom I watched "24" when it originally premiered on Fox. Always a fan of the show, I believe it fitting to dedicate this season in his memory. Rest in peace, brother...I miss you!

Sure to be a Viewer Discretion blast?

Too bad there aren't gators in that swamp like in Nip/Tuck.

THE RODS

Just so, Andy. And good morning!

Referring to last week's use of Farrahd post death...talk about beating a dead horse...

NOTIFY THE PERIMETER!

Perimeter! Drink!

Theme for tank guy: Under Pressure.

Not the 555 Unstable Monovibrator!

Under Pressure?! The Vanilla Ice rip-off?!

;-)

I wonder if Dave ran into Keifer at the Oscars?

DIALOGUE WE'D LIKE TO HEAR

Bauer tells MArcos "I just wanna talk to you!"
Marcos says, "Uh-Ugh, you just want to shoot me in the thigh!" and jumps out the window.

"DAMMIT" Jack yells, as he also jumps out the window,
"I"m sure gonna shoot you now!!!"

Not "Tanks for the Memories," tropic?

A beautiful intro from a rough song, Andy!!! (and nice with the Kermie mention. ;-) )

Hey, all!

What, CTU doesn't have the iPad yet?

Dave MUST be exhausted, he didn't even post a racy link to Agent Freckles.

Spying for the IRKs. Irking for the spies. Whatever.

Is Dana one of the Drone Sensors?

Pfft. They don't even have netbooks with solid state drives, tropic.

Meanwhile, back with the annoying Fred and Daphne redneck subplot...

Won't be joining ya's tonight...but will read up tomorrow soooooooo be extra funny!!

PLEASE, LET'S NOT DO THIS NOW. DISCUSS IT AFTER THE SEASON ENDS

Hi Diva.

Please will this Starbuck subplot ever die.

Act natural? Cole looks like he's have a major accident in his undies if anyone came up behind him and yelled, 'Boo'.

I bet the radiological threat goes off and makes the bodies in the water come back to life as nucular zombies...

Siouxie has cooties!

(Does that help?)

"And you were supposed to be servicing..." *leer* "me."

Freddy's dad was so much more cuter than Fred is.

Whooohooo answer to Chloe, Starbuck.

Wait, so when they're most needed and are insubordinate, they can't get fired...boy, this place is like permatenure!

Oh wow, which is more humiliating: Dana having to answer to Chloe, or FPJ having to answer to Arlo?

Hey, Cassie! *waves*

If you're a terrorist or hospital patient you should always close the drapes.

This is too suspenseful. I'm spent.

Another exciting 8:52 gone and done with.

Yay! Chloe gets her due! (sorta)

Luckily for Dana and FPJ, it's almost impossible to fire people from the government no matter how badly they screw up.

One brief, shining moment of reality that somehow slipped past the scriptwriters.

Poor Dave. Worked all weekend, no sleep, and now he has to watch 24. Life is so not fair at times.

Uncle Sam is a weasel with dentures.

*snicker* @ Wes.

The commercials are beginning to have more action than 24.

Hey, let's open this rod-box-thingy and get ourselves a tan, boyz!

Ooooo- techie catfight!

Well, at least this bunch of bad guys treat the Nukular Rods of Doom with all the proper reverence; the Russians just tossed 'em into a wood crate.

The Muslims actually splurged for lead.

Smack her around Chloe...

I <3 CHLOE

THAT MEANS A LOT, I NEVER USE "<3"

Nice Chloe?? Is that her only warning?

Damn Chloe is being magnanimous. Redneck Dana hates that shizzle.

"Hang in there." All that Chloe needed was give her the cat poster with that. Bwahahaha

Bad pass. Not worthy of a geek.

This guy never gives up.

C'mon, Starbuck, show Arlo how you used to be a guy...

HOMEY, WHAT'S ALL CAPS MARCH?? HAVEN'T HEARD OF IT.

Jack just wants to shoot that Dougie Houser aged terrorist. Thigh shot!

The CUTE jacket logos are badly typoed.

Has a perimiter been set up. Can I drink ?

Would somebody please give that guy a tissue?

Hastings is nervous. He calls Jack.

"Any news about the Rods?"

Arlo blurts out "Mr. Stewart's in London right now,
and Mr. McKuen is dead."

A little levity to cut this damp tension.

IT'S "CAPS LOCK MARCH" AND IT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE

R-O-C-K in the I-R-K!!

Guest scriptwriters for this episode: Michael Moore and Ward Churchill...

Jack just called him "son." PLEASE tell me there are no more family connections. I can't take another Kim!!

Ma peepo is bein held down by the man.

Marcos!!

Polos!!

'Kos, get off that blog and talk to me. Dammit!

"MARCOS! MARCOS!"

The only appropriate response:
POLOS!

Oh, come on Diva! By this point Kim might be the only normal person on the show!

Come on Jack, just decompress him or compress him. Either way he goes boom.

You never see old guy terrorists wrappend in explosives. You'd think the young would notice that.

If some guy was wearing a jacket with what looks like a bunch of firecrackers on it and then started connecting wires, I wouldn't be standing around at the window in the door. Unless that is awfully strong glass.

^5, Andy!!!!

Jinx, buy me a coke, Diva!

*snorks* at dances for the Kos comment

JUSTIFIED. Tatooed shooters. Count me in.

Marcos, wipe that chocolate syrup offa your face, dammit.

On House, that woman blogger bugged the hell out of me. I wanted to scream, "Do what William Shatner said on SNL, "Get a life!."

Glad you liked it, Wes. :-)

But I suppose if you're dumb enough to wrap yourself in explosives it's best to get your genes out of the pool

Hey, I thought "Shane" died at the end of The Shield. And there he turns up on Justified, packin' a shotty...

;)

Agreed Cassie. It came down to turds though.

Oooooo. Naked subplot.

Only in Hollywood can a Slum Dog game show host become President of the generic Islamic Republic.

She's got incredible makeup on to not be smearing or caking after that much sweat

That's the life. Run, hide, have sex.

Kayla sure sweats a lot. Or her arm leaks.

Kids, you don't have a year or eighteen months to wait for asylum in America. You're going to both get whacked in an honor killing by the end of the season...

Wait, where's her hand?

@ Wes, yeah Shane did. That was something I didn't see coming.

So was Tarin calling for protection? Or enhancement?

Shamass bigger than Shamwow.

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