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February 23, 2010

WE HAVE A FEELING THIS IS GOING TO BE AN INSURANCE NIGHTMARE

A Covington doctor who's had several problems with the State Medical Board is now locked up for stabbing a female patient. Dr. Douglas Rank faces an assault charge after neighbors say they caught him attacking the woman with a sword.

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

Comments

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he misread 'first, do no harm." as "en garde!"

We learned the first week in nursing school that it was not nice to stab patients. I assumed they taught that in doctor's school also. I did work with a doctor once that knocked a patient out. I didn't know if I should call the police or get down on the floor and start counting. It was a perfect TKO.

Doctor Rank is board certified in psychiatry

The unholy trinity, alcohol, drugs and psychiatry were involved.

My mom's gastroenterologist was targeted by a hit man hired by his former medical partner.

Wacky Docs

He was high as a kite;
used a sword in a fight,
That's samurai!

There can be only one!

Cherchez les shrinks!

So he's board certified or sword certified?

Ninja Freud,
You should avoid.
He's not so Jung,
But he's good with a soid.

Psychiatrist, heal thyself!

WHY is this man still practicing medicine??

My profession is getting nuttier by the day...

Age 59 and 1/2 can't be soon enough..

Doug Hamilton, Neighbor: "All I heard was a scream. But it was the type of a scream that you know something is wrong. I went up to the top of the steps and they were fighting."

What, as opposed to the type of scream that might mean sexual ecstasy?

Why do I expect to hear, "This is the city, Los Angeles, California. My name is Friday. I carry a badge."

*sticks out thumb for geezer bus*

Gee, Jeff, we just keep coming back here, don't we??

Is that a sword or are you just happy to see me? Oh it's a sword, aaaahhhhh!

... and they wanto to limit malpractice suits. Lawsuits, anyway.

"He has some inner demons, apparently, that he needs to be working with and now he'll get the help that he needs."

...through our new psychosocial interventional treatment modality where we lock the door and throw away the key.

HMO Rep: Hello, OpaqueCare HMO claims department, how may I help you? (Please note that this call may be monitored for our entertainment purposes)
Claimant: Hi. I submitted a----
HMO Rep: Your name, please.
Claimant: [gives name, then spells name] I submitted a---
HMO Rep: Your company, please.
Claimant: [gives company name] I submitted a---
HMO Rep: How may I help you?
Claimant: I submitted a reimbursement claim that was denied, and I don't understand the reason.
HMO Rep: Is there a claim number?
Claimant: Yes [gives number]
HMO Rep: Is there a code number in the status column?
Claimant: Yes. It's 702
HMO Rep: Is there a status entry in the code column?
Claimant: Yes. It says "Hah!"
HMO Rep: That indicates that you required a referral from your primary physician.
Claimant: My primary physician ran me through with a sword, so I went to an emergency room.
HMO Rep: Was there prior authorization for that treatment?
Claimant: Er, no. I was about to bleed to death, and needed emergency care.
HMO Rep: Did you contact our Treatment Review office?
Claimant: No, from past claims, I knew that they are only open from 1 a.m. to 1:15 a.m. on Sundays, and by the time you get through the number prompts, they are closed. So I didn't bother.
HMO Rep: Is your primary physician in our provider network?
Claimant: Yes.
HMO Rep: Did he use a network sword?
Claimant: I don't know.
HMO Rep: Hah!

And then they have the temerity to send you a form that sez -- get this -- "Explanation of Benefits"!

Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Whoo-whee. *wipes tear*

Good one. *snork*

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