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February 16, 2010

THE ONGOING CARNAGE AT CHUCK E. CHEESE

It keeps going on.

(Thanks to Andrew)

Comments

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I'm beginning to think it's something in their pizza that causes this. You never hear of these things happening at Pizza Hut or Papa John's. Either that or all the kids in that place cause temporary insanity.

Just between you and I, they need to start hiring bouncers, instead of just bouncy balls.

*SMACKS* jon with slice of pizza for trying to aggravate judi.

Carefuk nursecindy -- in some states hitting a person with Chuck-E-Cheese pizza is a felony.

Make that "careful" --

Only if it has pepperoni on it NMU.

"Either that or all the kids in that place cause temporary insanity."

that and they sell beer.

Trying really hard here to go into dangerous territory with NMUAs freudian slip...

Because, just between you, I, and that horrid jacket Tom Brokaw wore during the opening ceremony, there are places I could go with that that would get all the blog ladies after me with chucky cheese mayhem in mind.

Mmmm, mushroom!

Well, just between you and I, the one entry I would like to have on my record would be "inciting a riot."

Grand Theft Submarine would be cool, too.

Police reports stated that when the woman said she "was going to take her time," a man punched the woman, she and a companion fought back and the victim's family got into the brawl.

What was that line Keanu had in PARENTHOOD about anyone being able to breed?

"the ruckus Saturday night began when someone asked a woman how long she planned on being at a vending machine."

All the crappy pizza and birthday cake they can eat, and they're still hitting the VENDING machines? Somebody have a serious jones for a stale bear claw?

Well, that's the problem. You're supposed to do more with your pot than just sit around "possessing" it like some golden idol.

What could be better than an afternoon at Chuck E.'s?

After all, there's:

- raucous, sugar-dosed kids
- seizure-inducing lights
- pounding, repetitive rhythmic pulsations
- money-guzzling, semi-operative machinery
- lobotomized staff
- "pizza" made from crispy cardboard and freshly extruded plastic
- "prizes" worth nearly as much as a dust-bunny

AND

- a giant rodent!!!

Add alcohol availability, and who wouldn't want to riot?

everybody knows that nobody really eats that food - except for the 3 year olds, and they quickly learn. if i was, er, toked, i dont think i'd head for chux e cheese for my munchies.

"What could be better than an afternoon at Chuck E.'s?"
How about the inevitable trip with the grandson to Disney World? I've been to that place 5 times but only the first was voluntary. The other four, I was kicking and screaming like the rest of the kids in that two-hour line.

Steve, I think my dad overdosed on Disney World. He took us several times and his neighbors, who are in their 60's and have no children, go every year. The wife wears t-shirts with Mickey on them all the time. My dad said he was tired of seeing her walking around with that monkey on her shirt. I had to tell him it was Mickey Mouse not Mickey Monkey which would be a cool character.

D-World is a prolonged, captive hell, I will admit. Even my kids told me once is enough.

Chuck's, however, is a level that would make even Dante shudder.

I prefer Epcot - "Look, Germany! Let's have a Bier!" "Look, Japan! Let's have some sake!" etc...

I absolutely loathe Chuck E. Cheese's.

I'd rather be drug nekkid through an Arab village with a bagel on my dick.

I'd rather teabag a fire-ant mound.

I'd rather spend the night in a sleeping bag full of badgers.

I'd rather go for tea with my mother-in-law.

I'd rather . . . you get the picture.

NO! NO! We do NOT want the picture!

Ah, but would you teabag a badger with a bagel on your...

Oh, never mind.

I do unto others. I go to church. I tithe. Why? Because I know what eternal damnation looks like: A Chuck E. Cheese on a Saturday afternoon that NEVER ENDS. Please pray for my soul.

I nearly got killed at a Chuck E Cheese in Pittsburgh PA. My Aunt sent me up into the playhouse to fetch my 2 young neices. We left that house O death down a slide. I couldn't turn around, so I tried to crawl down the slide. It was slippery, I slid quickly and went head first into the wall that was several feet from the end. I survived. I can still imagine what would have been KDKA's lead story "22 year old dies today at Chuck E. Cheese playhouse, story at nine..."

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