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February 22, 2010

24

Here is where we stand:

Last week Jack, after being tortured via jumper cables and the Thumb of Pain, singlehandedly killed approximately six dozen Russian mobsters and captured Bazhaev, the Russian mobster-in-chief, who chased Jack around a smallish dining room firing approximately two million rounds, all of which fortunately missed. Jack finally took him down using Table Fu.

Bazhaev revealed the location of the truck containing the Nuclear Death Rods of Lethal Atomic Doom, but when CTU agent Freddie Prinze Jr. got to the truck, it contained, in a shocking plot twist…

…Jimmy Hoffa.

No, seriously, it contained two more deceased Russian mobsters, who were whacked by Bazhaev's son Josef, who has stolen the Atomic Doom rods. He is angry because (a) Bazhaev shot his brother, Oleg, and (b) he is the only Russian mobster without an accent. His plan is to sell the rods to Generic Islamic Republic President Sham's evil brother, Farhad, who is angry because his name is "Farhad."

Meanwhile in subplot action:

CTU chief Hastings has ordered a full psychiatric evaluation of Renee.

Highly qualified Agent Dana Walsh has apparently decided to whack her pesky ex-boyfriend Kevin.

Edgar is still dead.

Stay tuned in the comments section afterward for an informative wrapup by The Amazing Steve.

Meanwhile, here is a poll:

Given that the nuclear rods are in large radioactive crates that must be transported by truck, and are in the same city as CTU, will CTU find them?
Yes.
Only if the truck crashes into CTU headquarters bearing a sign that says "NUCLEAR RODS."
And even then they might not notice, what with the various subplots.
Montpelier.
  
pollcode.com free polls

UPDATE: Hey, he punched House.

UPDATE: So.... couldn't they maybe alert the actual NYC police? Who would be in Queens already? Nah.

UPDATE: You did nothing wrong, Renee, stabbing that guy 387 times and then stabbing me in the stomach.

UPDATE: OK, I know I have asked this before, but why do they keep calling their phones "PDAs," as though they're carrying 1997 Palm Pilots? Is it some sponsor thing? Congress needs to look into this.

UPDATE: Maybe Renee will stab Miss Smith.

UPDATE: "The Americans are not stupid, Farhad." Clearly he has never watched this show.

UPDATE: I think Farhad is toast.

UPDATE: They're gonna put the rods into a Toyota.

UPDATE: Jack spends roughly half of his life getting into and out of CTU custody.

UPDATE: Farhad is a wiry li'l rascal.

UPDATE: "Give us the room."

UPDATE: "I thought YOU had the rods." That, in a nutshell, is CTU.

UPDATE: How many employees does CTU have this season? Eight?

UPDATE: The van is rockin'!

UPDATE: Are they in some kind of jungle? In Queens?

UPDATE: "I want you in. With both feet." Kinky.

UPDATE: OK, Freddie Prinze Jr., just now noticed that she was holding a gun?

UPDATE: Are we supposed to feel bad about Kevin?

UPDATE: Take it, The Amazing Steve.

Comments

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*sends Dave an "H"*

asen't started and I'm already yawning. Getting Cockney are we Dave?

Spoiler alert: The Death Rods of the Apolac....Acalopy...Armadil...Endtimes are here.

Dave meant to write "ear," because that will be the next body part to go walkabout.

Also...you are truly evil, Dave. UGH!

Better ears than some body parts I can think of...I'm still suprised Renee stuck Vladimir in the eye, given her history with him...

Need more crazy dangerous Freckles.

Freckles got a gun.
The whole world's come undone.

Ready to go! See ya after the show!

Nuclear manilow of death to be unleashed on NYC unless Jack stops it.

Only if the truck crashes into CTU headquarters bearing a sign that says "NUCLEAR RODS.".

Then CTU will just give the truck a job. It will then be the mole in season 10.

"You better put that down or you're gonna get hurt."

I love it!

Dear Dave & Associates - especially Souxie and tropichunt.com guy(TM),

I've lurked a long time, and this season, I finally started watching 24 ... because of this blog.

Thank you, and especially Amazing Steve, for adding levity to my Mondays. I'm just sorry I didn't start watching when Jack was (apparently) more badass...

Cheers!

You realize that if the truck has a sign on it reading "NUCLEAR RODS" when it hits the building, nobody at CTU will be able to read it because they all think it's spelled "NUKULAR" this season...

;)

Dave, you go stand in the corner with nursecindy.

OK, we're ready. Here's a real test:

Perimmeter!

*drinks*

OK, all set.

H. Fisher: Glad you enjoy tagging along! The show is way funnier than I am, though...

Hey, H.Fisher! *Cheers*

Welcome to our madness. Great to have you on board ;)

OK, had too many already, can't spell.

The more the merrier, Fish. Welcome aboard.

"It is what it is"

*drinks*

I think that CTU would notice the truck IF it crashed into CTU's building and ran over a couple of them. Even then it's iffy.

run while you can, HF: these 'ere peeps are crazy

*waves to H. Fisher*

Got the vino!

Hey, ya'll!

that was the most violence we're going to see tonight

BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
Sometimes I ask myself how I'd stand up under torture.
BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
You? You kiddin'? If the Gestapo would take away your Bloomingdale's charge card, you'd tell 'em everything.
BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
It's so clean out here.
BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
That's because they don't throw their garbage away, they turn it into television shows.

*Billy Joel's "New York State of Mind" begins playing*

Some folks like to run away
From an armed bomb in the neighborhood.
Wish it was in Tora Bora or near Tiger Woods.
But I'm takin' a chopper right to the scene of the crime
I'm in a Bauer state of mind.

I've seen lots of terrorists
with their toxic gas in their canisters,
Been high in an airplane with a nuke machine
I know what I'm needin' and I can't waste much more time.
I'm in a Bauer state of mind.

It's been so hard, stabbing day to day
Out of touch with folks in CTU
And now they want to get immunity
The President, the legal blues...

They won't come to reality, and that's fine with me 'cos I've crossed the line.
I don't care if it's waterboard or rusty land mine
I don't have any worries; I did Potter this time.
I'm in a Bauer state of mind.

Oh yeah.

It's been so hard, stabbing day to day
Out of touch with folks in CTU
And now they want to get immunity
The President, the legal blues...
Whoa whoa...

They won't come to reality, and that's fine with me 'cos I've crossed the line.
I don't care if it's waterboard or rusty land mine
I don't have any worries; not an otter this time.
I'm in a Bauer state of mind.

I'm just takin' a chopper right to the scene of the crime.
Cause I'm in a...
I'm in a Bauer...state of...mind.
Yeah yeah...

JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BOWAH POWAH OWAH!
J A C K B A U E R P O W E R H O U R !

Brought to you by: JackSack™ ("JackSack™'s in a Bauer state of mind...") and ChloeSack™ ("Of all the things ChloeSack™ would like to do, it's get into JackSack™'s mind.")

LET'S GET READY TO ROOOOOOOOOOOOOMBLE!

Next week House goes speed dating. Viewer expression is advised.

heyyyyyyyyyyyyy tf8!! who you calling *TWITCH* crazy???

Be honest, if any of us viewers had any 'discretion' would we be watching this?

They can't find the rods because Arlo is spying on Dana/Jenny, who is in Jersey City stalking The Duke Boys.

*waves @ H. Fisher!*

Whee!!!!

GOod one, Andy! Love my BJ!

"Where the hell are the rods?"

'Scuse me while I whip this out, Hastings.

So Sark put the rods in a coffin? How appropriate.

Darned TypePoop:
24 BLEEP BLOOP SEASON 8 EP 6

BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
Sometimes I ask myself how I'd stand up under torture.
BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
You? You kiddin'? If the Gestapo would take away your Bloomingdale's charge card, you'd tell 'em everything.
BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
It's so clean out here.
BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
That's because they don't throw their garbage away, they turn it into television shows.

*Billy Joel's "New York State of Mind" begins playing*

Some folks like to run away
From an armed bomb in the neighborhood.
Wish it was in Tora Bora or near Tiger Woods.
But I'm takin' a chopper right to the scene of the crime
I'm in a Bauer state of mind.

I've seen lots of terrorists
with their toxic gas in their canisters,
Been high in an airplane with a nuke machine
I know what I'm needin' and I can't waste much more time.
I'm in a Bauer state of mind.

It's been so hard, stabbing day to day
Out of touch with folks in CTU
And now they want to get immunity
The President, the legal blues...

They won't come to reality, and that's fine with me 'cos I've crossed the line.
I don't care if it's waterboard or rusty land mine
I don't have any worries; I did Potter this time.
I'm in a Bauer state of mind.

Oh yeah.

It's been so hard, stabbing day to day
Out of touch with folks in CTU
And now they want to get immunity
The President, the legal blues...
Whoa whoa...

They won't come to reality, and that's fine with me 'cos I've crossed the line.
I don't care if it's waterboard or rusty land mine
I don't have any worries; not an otter this time.
I'm in a Bauer state of mind.

I'm just takin' a chopper right to the scene of the crime.
Cause I'm in a...
I'm in a Bauer...state of...mind.
Yeah yeah...

JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BOWAH POWAH OWAH!
J A C K B A U E R P O W E R H O U R !

Brought to you by: JackSack™ ("JackSack™'s in a Bauer state of mind...") and ChloeSack™ ("Of all the things ChloeSack™ would like to do, it's get into JackSack™'s mind.")

LET'S GET READY TO ROOOOOOOOOOOOOMBLE!

This season's "24" intros are brought to you in memory of my dear friend Michael "Sparky" Bushaw, who passed away the day after this past Christmas. Sparky, my fraternity big brother, best man at my wedding and best friend for the last 20 years, was the one person with whom I watched "24" when it originally premiered on Fox. Always a fan of the show, I believe it fitting to dedicate this season in his memory. Rest in peace, brother...I miss you!

Chloe's triangulating. Go Chloe!

Twice is the charm, Andy. :)

Ohhh, Jeff- IT'S TWUE! IT'S TWUE!

Where is Dr Phil? Father Son dispute.

Siouxie loves her BJ. Well. I don't think I can follow that line. :D

*SMACKS* Andy!

That doesn't bring Oleg back! WTFBBQ, Dad?

"I von't be able to protect you, like I did your brother."

You've done a bang-up job of "protecting" your sons so far, Herr U-Boot Kapitan...

brilliant, hastings

Ooh - 5 minutes to shootin'!

*drinks!*

Josef and the Amazing Technicolor Nukular Rods WBAGNFA Broadway show...

Head for Plans R Us.

"NUCLEAR RODS" = "L. Ron Crusade" = "And Orcs Rule!"

lol siouxie

Was Jack's budget downgraded? He has to get a wired earpiece instead of one of the fancy BlueToothdanglybobs?

Jack doesn't rate bluetooth? Geez.

Flushing Meadow Park? Do they just keep tossing in New York locations at random? I suggest they meet in Citi Field.

Fahrad and his ugly goatee again.

"L. Ron Crusade" - that's scary as hell.

Sounds like a perfect team of villains for Jack to deal with next season, too...

I'm fine, Chloe..just a little fried is all.

"I heard about what you went through. Are you okay?"

"Chloe, do you like 'roasted nuts'?"

Psychic simul, Andy! Whee!

"How's that second belly button?"

did renee go 'redder'?

I hope they removed all the sharp objects out of the room that Renee is in.

Are we taking a drink every time Jack says "I'm out"?

What is this cell phone Freckles is using? Holy Flat Brick, Batman! It's huuuuuuuuuuuuge!

"Chloe did the debrief?"

"yeah, and it was HOT!"

"You did nothing wrong...except that little stabbing me thing."

Chloe and Renee had a little wooden dialogue girl talk.

Love....look at the 2 of them...strangers in so many ways....

Love is in the air!!

kind of a 'blood red' look 2nite

Renee: "So now what do we do?"

Well, you go rogue, of course. It's about time in the season for Jack to do that, anyway...

tf8, she's trying to match the carpet (iykwim)

"You're my guy" awwww....

I don't believe him. I don't think he even knows what the job is.

Hastings: FAIL

"She stabbed him 15 times."

Damn, that's more than the average shots on goal for the Florida Panthers in one game...

yes PLEEEEASE GET OUT

I'm guessing we're not going to like Kristin Smith very much.

Why are the people who work for the President always evil?

"Are we on the same page here?"

Cliche alert - *drinks*

"She put her life on the line"
"Someone has to pay for this"

*drinks twice*

The Wooden Dialogue Generator is smoking tonight.

"Just open the door and get out of the way."

Well...that's about all Hasting's good for, anyway. And pretty much what he's been doing all season, when he wasn't yelling at Chloe...

Weasel duty for Hastings.

Freckles is takint the blame for life, the universe and everything off Jack's shoulders.

ROASTED NUTS....HA

They need to end the entire series by having Jack start a thermonuclear war with the WOPR computer from WarGames

So, you can stab a guy 15 times and it's okay but if you stab them 16 times it isn't?

Arrrgg. CYA meets CTU.

siouxie i think reneee is more of a 'bare wood' girl iykwim(aityd)

Tim Geithner coulda used that GPS-enabled TurboTax, eh?

Jeff, I'm waitin' for the WDG to get past smokin' to burnin'....UP. ><

Is Hastings really a CTU Jockey doorstop?

Somehow "Red Lobster" and "irresistable" don't belong in the same sentence, IMHO.

So Sock from REAPER is playing a fake dad?


Ford Focus Pretty Boy:

Pretends to listen to Korean News
Cheats his friends out of gas money

Not sure about the marketing message.

Hmm...you may have a point there, tf8. And Jack's wanting to polish it. (IYCMD)

I'm really hoping somebody pistol-whips Arlo before this season is over.

Hastings, too.

Gonna be rumba at the strip bar...no holds

CTU people don't have to wear seatbelts?

Dana's got the Wooden Driving Generator going.

'The Wooden Dialog Generator - we put the "lumber" in "slumber!"'

That look....I'm in love

Now Freddie is going AWOL too? Soon CTU will be empty.

Of course, that might be a good thing.

So Dana's in the woods of Jersey City?

Bwahahahahaha. Brilliant.

Time to go Starbuck at last.

Van party! these guys are top shelf.

Ms. Smith is HOT.

She's a mole.

A silenced Walther PPK for Dana? Wow, we're going old school Ian Fleming here.

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